Infidelity in a marriage can be one of the most painful experiences in a relationship. If your marraige ended because you or your spouse cheated, you may wonder how this will influence your divorce case. Illinois is considered a “no-fault” divorce state, meaning that cheating on your spouse doesn’t necessarily affect your ability to get a divorce. However, if you or your partner was unfaithful in your marriage, the outcome of your divorce may be impacted. 

What is Considered Cheating?

Spousal infidelity is classified in Illinois as:

• A person knowingly engaging in an extramarital, sexual affair with a partner that is not his or her spouse

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The experience of getting divorced has evolved considerably in the last few years. Although divorce is still not easy, Illinois’ laws have changed to reflect modern family arrangements and now consider both parents responsible for providing financial support and physical care for their children. Courts have also tried to move away from high-conflict divorce litigation and often require divorcing couples to seek alternative dispute resolution strategies. 

This has made it easier for parents to focus more on divorcing cooperatively rather than trying to best each other during divorce. As a result, many different professionals are now available to help divorcing couples pursue a peaceful strategy that minimizes hostility and places the needs of children first. Here are three divorce professionals who, in addition to a great divorce attorney, may be able to help you during your Kane County divorce. 

Divorce Coach

A divorce coach is someone who specializes in helping divorcing couples work through the legal, emotional, and logistical changes of the divorce process. A divorce coach can work with both spouses to help them set priorities, minimize conflict, and focus on the future. An effective divorce coach can help spouses save time and money by streamlining the divorce and keeping couples on task. 

The first batch of major holidays during or after your divorce can be tough. Children are still adjusting to all of the changes - a new home, perhaps a new school, less time with both parents, shifting schedules - and between helping the children and trying to manage your own emotions about the divorce, you likely have a lot on your plate. 

Relationship experts say that feeling a heightened sense of sadness around the holidays is normal following divorce. If you are about to experience the holidays as a single adult for the first time in many years, here are some suggestions from psychological professionals to help you adjust and heal during this challenging period. 

Allow Yourself to Grieve

Trying to convince yourself that everything is okay and that the holidays are not a difficult time may make you feel even worse. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family and give yourself the freedom to feel what you feel. Try to keep a positive perspective. This may be very difficult, but it will not last forever. 

 Collaborative divorce and mediation are two alternative dispute resolution strategies that help divorcing couples work through all the issues that must be resolved in a divorce. Marital asset division, spousal maintenance, allocation of parental responsibilities, parenting time, and more can all be handled in a way that allows couples to stay focused on finding solutions. 

When both spouses are invested in obtaining a successful outcome, mediation and collaborative divorce can make divorce faster, less expensive, and more peaceful. Although they have similarities, these two strategies are not the same. Understanding the difference can help you choose an approach that is right for you. 

What is Mediation? 

Mediation is conducted by a specially trained, unbiased third-party mediator who is often an attorney. Both parties generally pay for mediators, but they do not represent either spouse. They cannot give legal advice, and their focus is on keeping parties moving towards an agreement. Mediators help couples brainstorm different options, navigate compromises, make priorities, and eventually come to an agreement. 

Recognizing the harmful effects of hostile divorce litigation on families and children, Illinois courts and judges now encourage divorcing couples to use alternative dispute resolution techniques whenever possible. Mediation is one such technique, and thousands of couples all over the state have used it to help them reach important compromises during divorce negotiations. 

There are many common myths and misunderstandings about mediation, and in this blog post we will explore a few of these so Illinois residents can make educated decisions about their divorce. Keep in mind that mediation is not right for everyone and a qualified divorce attorney is the best person to answer your questions. 

Mediation is Only For “Easy” Divorces

Although simple divorces may be easier to resolve, mediation is perhaps even more helpful to couples whose relationships are complex. Complex asset and debt division, spousal support, and child-related issues can all be addressed during mediation, helping couples navigate these difficult scenarios while reducing conflict and encouraging compromise.