Depending on the source of statistics, anywhere between 40 and 50 percent of marriages in the United States will end in divorce. Many couples who are married also have children, and kids' well-being can be a significant cause of stress and worry for divorcing parents. Multiple studies have been conducted to determine the effects a divorce can have on kids. Psychological experts have stated that a divorce can have a significant impact on children’s lives, but it is important to realize that the impact does not have to be a negative one. There are many things you can do to ensure your children come out of the divorce in a good place. Below are a few common myths about divorce and children that can be dispelled.

Younger Children Are Not Affected By Divorce 

It has often been thought that young children do not really know what is going on during a divorce, and therefore, they are not affected as much as older children. If they cannot comprehend the situation, how can it impact them? While it is true that babies and toddlers do not really know what is happening during the divorce, that does not mean they do not feel the stress and tension that a divorce can bring. This is why it is important for parents to facilitate peacefulness and cooperation during a divorce.

Making the decision to end your marriage is not one that is usually taken lightly. For most couples, it takes years for the marriage to break down to a point that one or both spouses realize it would be for the best to no longer stay together. Getting divorced is a final, absolute process that cannot be reversed once it is completed. Because of this, many couples turn to a less permanent form by legally separating before they make the decision to get divorced. A legal separation can be a useful tool for many couples if they are unsure they want the finality of a divorce.

Legal Separation Versus Divorce

At face value, a legal separation looks very similar to divorce. However, the outcomes are very different. When you obtain a legal separation, you must meet the residency requirement of living in Illinois for at least 90 days prior to filing. Next, you must file a petition to separate, which must include proof that you and your partner are living separately from one another. The two of you can then address issues such as spousal support, division of property, child support, and child custody.

"Divorce" and "peaceful" are probably two words that you never thought you would put in the same sentence together, but a peaceful divorce is not as rare as you might think. Amicable divorces are beneficial to everyone involved, especially if you have children. Having a peaceful divorce does not just happen by chance -- you have to not only want it to happen, but you also have to work hard to make it a reality. Although it takes two cooperating spouses to achieve a truly amicable divorce, there are certain things you can do to encourage a tranquil resolution. Below are a few tips to attain the ever-illusive harmonious divorce, which can help everyone with this major life transition. 

Be Respectful to One Another

There are a number of common reasons why couples get divorced, some of them being addiction issues (gambling, drugs, or alcohol), infidelity, or even domestic violence. Even though these issues can make it difficult to maintain respect for your spouse, keeping a mutual level of respect between the two of you is important to having a smooth divorce. Arguing or disrespecting your spouse in front of your children can make kids feel like they have to choose sides, which can be detrimental to their emotional well-being. The breakup of the family unit is traumatic enough, so do not add extra stress on them. 

When you think of the word “narcissist,” you may think of someone who is completely obsessed with his or her looks, who is a know-it-all, and who believes they can do no wrong. While this definition is certainly not false, narcissism is an actual clinical mental illness, characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a sense of entitlement, and an unwillingness to display empathy for others. Divorcing a narcissist is an entirely different ballgame than divorcing a mentally stable person, because a narcissist will take every opportunity he or she can to make the process as difficult as possible. Having an experienced attorney on your side who is skilled in dealing with highly contentious divorces is essential to surviving your divorce. Here are a few other tips to help if you are divorcing a narcissistic spouse:

1. Understand Your Spouse Is Not Going to Play Fair

You want to believe that your spouse would never do anything to hurt you or your children. Sadly, a narcissist who is going through a divorce will often do whatever he or she can to cause you pain and suffering. Your spouse will do all that is in his or her power to “win” and will aim to make your life as miserable as possible. He or she will try to wear you down on certain issues, so it is critical that you stay strong and do not back down on matters that are important to you. 

For many couples who are contemplating a split, the divorce process may seem overwhelming and rather complicated. While it is true that the divorce process can be a difficult one, it is not impossible. Getting help from a knowledgeable Illinois divorce lawyer is the easiest way to ensure you receive a fair settlement in your divorce. There are various stages of an Illinois divorce, many of which are multi-faceted and can become lengthy in certain situations. Even though the divorce process can seem daunting at first, a positive outcome is achievable, and divorce can ultimately benefit everyone in your family in the long run.

Filing a Petition for Divorce

The first step in getting a divorce is to file a petition for divorce at the courthouse in the county in which you reside. Filing a petition is simply a way of saying you are asking the court to allow you to dissolve your marriage. To file this type of legal document, you must have lived in Illinois for at least 90 days, and you must pay a filing fee. The state of Illinois only recognizes one “grounds” for divorce now -- irreconcilable differences. This means your marriage has broken down to the point of no return, and attempting to reconcile would not be in the best interests of the family. You can prove this by living apart from your spouse for at least six months prior to filing the petition for divorce.