The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C.

630-409-8184

1444 North Farnsworth Avenue, Suite 307, Aurora, IL 60505

Yorkville Office By Appointment

Initial Consultations via ZOOM Available

North Aurora divorce attorney order enforcement

There are many steps in the divorce process, but the one that nearly everyone looks forward to is the final step -- the prove-up. If you and your ex-spouse were able to keep your divorce out of the courtroom, this is the only time you will have actually appeared before a judge. Even if you had to settle your divorce in court, either way, your divorce is finalized once the judge signs the decree. This can be a huge weight lifted off of your shoulders, but in some high-conflict divorces, the feeling of relief may be short-lived. It can be extremely frustrating if your spouse does not adhere to the terms of the decree after you spent so much time hashing things out. Fortunately, if your former spouse is wilfully disobeying your divorce decree, there are things you can do to rectify the situation.

Determining if There Is a Violation

Before you do anything, you should first make sure that your ex is indeed in violation of your divorce decree. For your ex-spouse to be considered in contempt of court, you must have a valid and current court order. Your ex must also be willfully in contempt of a court order, rather than non-willful contempt. This means that your ex must be knowingly and meaningfully violating the order.

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North Aurora divorce attorney parenting plan

When you have children, you typically envision the life you want to give them, one full of love and happiness from both parents. Making the decision to separate or get a divorce is difficult when you have children for that very reason. Suddenly, your vision is no longer the same loving image of a happy family and that can be devastating for everyone involved. Emotions play a big role in divorce, whether you would like to admit it or not. Sometimes, those emotions can be so overwhelming that it feels as if you cannot even be in the same room with your spouse anymore. If you have children, you do not have that option, especially when you are in the process of getting the divorce and you do not yet have any final plans in place. Parenting while you go through this process can seem unmanageable at times, but an Illinois divorce attorney can help you navigate this new normal.

Request Temporary Orders

During your divorce, negotiations will take place to form final orders for things such as child support, parenting time, and decision-making responsibilities. Once your divorce is finalized, those orders will also be finalized and will become effective. Until that happens, however, you can request temporary orders from the court to be effective until more permanent ones come along. This can be immensely helpful for couples who have a great deal of conflict because it can reduce some of the uncertainty about the children’s schedule. Temporary orders for parenting time and child support can both be issued to last during the divorce.

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North Aurora parenting plan attorney

One of the biggest concerns that people have about divorce is how it affects the children who are stuck in the middle of these situations. Multiple studies have been conducted on the effect of divorce on kids throughout their lives and while research is always ongoing, these studies have shown that the divorce itself is not what affects children -- it is the conflict to which they are exposed. Some children who have divorced parents grow up to be successful and well-adjusted adults, while some have more trouble. The children who grew up to be successful tended to be from families in which the divorce was fairly peaceful, while the ones who experienced issues were usually from families that had a lot of conflict and stress because of the divorce. When you have children, you do not get to simply forget about your child’s other parent and never see him or her again. The reality is, you must be willing to compromise and communicate with your child’s other parent for child-rearing. Unfortunately, some couples simply cannot seem to make co-parenting work. The good news is that there are alternatives to co-parenting, with the most popular option being parallel parenting.

What Is Parallel Parenting?

In many ways, parallel parenting is much like co-parenting. In both instances, you and your ex still both have parenting time with your children. However, in a parallel parenting situation, you and your ex are much more disengaged from one another, unlike in a co-parenting relationship. It helps to think of its namesake -- parallel lines. They always run in the same direction but angled in such a way that they never collide. For example, in a parallel parenting agreement, the parents may communicate or even see each other only to make a decision about the children’s medical care or schooling, but then make day-to-day decisions on their own while the kids are in their care.

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Yorkville parenting plan attorney

Even when a divorce is friendly and parents are amicable with one another, co-parenting is not easy work. Co-parenting takes a lot of effort, communication, and a willingness to work together to be successful. In an ideal situation, both parents would be willing to put their own feelings and hurt aside to come together as a parental unit for their children. Unfortunately, this does not always happen. Sometimes, a parent can get so caught up in their own emotions and personal vendettas that they lose sight of what is best for their children. The following advice can help you and your ex-spouse work together for the sake of your kids.

Making Co-Parenting Easier

Cooperative co-parenting is what every parent aims for after divorce from their children’s other parent. While it may seem difficult, effective co-parenting is not impossible. It simply takes a little bit of time and effort to make it work. If you are at odds with how to cope with an uncooperative co-parent, here are a few tips that can make things a little easier:

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North Aurora high-conflict divorce attorney

In today’s world, single-parent households are much more common than they were decades ago. According to the United States Census Bureau, more than 25 percent of American children do not live in a household with both of their parents. While not all children living with a single parent have experienced a divorce, many children have and they are typically able to cope with their parent’s divorce. However, the single factor that has been determined to harm children during a divorce is continued conflict between the parents. As stressful as a high-conflict divorce can be to you, it can be even more consequential for your children. 

Conflicted About Their Loyalty

Children are naturally loyal to both of their parents, but this can become conflicting for them during a divorce. When there is a lot of contention and disagreement in a divorce, the kids can feel like they are in the middle and must choose one parent over the other. When the children are with one parent, they miss the other parent and thus may feel guilty about that. The greater the degree of conflict between parents, the greater the loyalty conflict is.

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The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C.

630-409-8184

1444 North Farnsworth Avenue, Suite 307, Aurora, IL 60505

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