Is it Better to Get Divorced or Stay in a Just Okay Marriage?

 Posted on May 11,2022 in Chicago divorce attorney

When you are at your wit’s end in your relationship, the temptation to leave can be overwhelming. Getting divorced might seem like a panacea that will solve all your problems - you no longer would have to live with the sloppy, selfish jerk who does not mind asking you to make dinner but otherwise scarcely notices you. But the negative consequences of an Illinois divorce can be real and lasting, and surprisingly, many couples who are unhappy at significant points in their marriage often end up being quite happy many years later. However, others remain stubbornly miserable. Therefore, deciding whether or not to get divorced is a major crossroads with the potential to significantly affect the outcome of your future. Knowing what research on the topic says may help you reach a decision. 

Will I Be Happier if I Get Divorced? 

It is easy to fantasize about how the future will be different when you feel like you cannot stand one more night listening to your partner’s snoring. However, nearly 70 percent of couples who were very unhappy when they had their first child reported being happy ten years later. Other studies suggest similar results; that about two-thirds of adults in unhappy marriages were happy five years later if they stayed together. Studies also suggest that, on average, people who get divorced are not happier than those who stay married. 

When Does Divorce Make Sense? 

Happiness is a subjective measurement and may not accurately reflect the health or well-being of a person in a relationship. For example, parents may decide to stay together for their children and put simmering resentments away until the children are older. However, children of parents who are distant and unhappy can often tell that something is wrong. Later on, parents may end up getting divorced anyway when the children are out of the home. 

Other situations make getting divorced a sensible and even wise option. These include circumstances in which one spouse is: 

• Physically or emotionally abusive

• Continuously having affairs or otherwise engaging in emotional and physical relationships outside of the marriage without their partner’s consent

• Neglecting their children or their spouse

• Retaining complete control over a family’s finances, making it difficult or impossible to make necessary purchases without getting permission 

• Otherwise controlling, abusing, hurting, or threatening their spouse

Certain behaviors do not go away or get better over time. If you have been abused and are wondering whether your spouse is likely to improve, research suggests the prospects are slim and that abuse often gets worse. 

Even if you are not being abused, you may find that marriage is ultimately not fulfilling your needs and wants. You may realize that you got married too young, or that your spouse does not share important values and goals with you. An Illinois divorce attorney can help you discuss your questions about divorce in a nonjudgmental environment so you can learn your options before making a decision. 

Call an Experienced Oswego, IL Divorce Lawyer

At the The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C., we understand that making the decision to get divorced is one of the most difficult things you may ever do. While we cannot make that decision easier, we can offer the legal support and guidance you need throughout your divorce process. To schedule an initial consultation with an experienced Kendall County divorce attorney, call our conveniently located Aurora offices at 630-409-8184. 

Source: 

https://marriagefoundation.org.uk/research/couples-on-the-brink/