Five Tips for Managing Your First Holiday Season After Divorce

 Posted on November 22,2021 in Divorce

The first batch of major holidays during or after your divorce can be tough. Children are still adjusting to all of the changes - a new home, perhaps a new school, less time with both parents, shifting schedules - and between helping the children and trying to manage your own emotions about the divorce, you likely have a lot on your plate. 

Relationship experts say that feeling a heightened sense of sadness around the holidays is normal following divorce. If you are about to experience the holidays as a single adult for the first time in many years, here are some suggestions from psychological professionals to help you adjust and heal during this challenging period. 

Allow Yourself to Grieve

Trying to convince yourself that everything is okay and that the holidays are not a difficult time may make you feel even worse. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family and give yourself the freedom to feel what you feel. Try to keep a positive perspective. This may be very difficult, but it will not last forever. 

Do Not Overcompensate

Many parents will buy their children expensive gifts and go over the top with decorations to try to distract from the difficulty of the changes, but this is unhelpful and may even backfire. The best thing you can do for your kids during the holidays is to be present and responsive to their needs. 

Avoid Self-Medicating

Parents may be tempted to numb the pain of feeling lonely or sad by overindulging in alcohol or other substances. This is made easier by the omnipresence of alcohol during holiday celebrations, but too much alcohol can be a recipe for disaster, especially when kids are present. Be aware of the temptation, know your limits, and always drive completely sober.  

Create New Traditions

Trying to normalize things by holding onto old family traditions may make things worse. Instead, read online or ask friends and family to get ideas for new traditions that allow you to create fresh memories. You can always talk to your children and ask whether they would be comfortable continuing a tradition that you used to do with their other parent. 

Take Advantage of Free Time

Although being away from your children might feel like a disaster, it may be possible to flip the script by taking some time for yourself. Many parents enjoy sleeping in, catching up on projects, and even traveling to visit extended family when their children are away for the holidays. Although it may be hard overall, it does not have to be hard at every moment. 

Contact a Kane County Divorce Lawyer

If you are considering divorce and are worried about the impact it will have on your family, an experienced North Aurora, IL divorce attorney with The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C. may be able to help. We will take care of the complex legal aspects of your case so you can focus on keeping your family healthy and whole this holiday season and every season hereafter. To find out more about what we can do for you, schedule a consultation today by calling our offices at 630-409-8184. 

Source: 

https://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/ilcs4.asp?DocName=075000050HPt%2E+IV&ActID=2086&ChapterID=59&SeqStart=3900000&SeqEnd=5400000