The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C.


1444 North Farnsworth Avenue, Suite 307, Aurora, IL 60505

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How Should I Tell My Spouse That I Want a Divorce?

Posted on in Divorce

St. Charles divorce attorney

Everyone has most likely heard these four words together before: “We need to talk.” Even if this phrase has not been related to relationship problems, it is still likely to elicit a few anxious and nervous feelings. Ending a relationship is never easy to do, especially when you have decided to dissolve your marriage and get a divorce. Whether you are the person breaking the news or the person on the receiving end, that conversation will likely be one of the most difficult and painful conversations you will ever have. It may also end up being a discussion that both sets the tone for the divorce and that you and your spouse remember forever. 

Breaking the News

Before you have the divorce conversation with your spouse, it is important to carefully consider his or her feelings, as well as those of your children to make the transition easier. Here are a few things you should keep in mind: 

  • Be certain of your decision. Telling your spouse that you want a divorce is not something you can ever take back or make him or her forget. Before you tell your spouse that you want a divorce, you should be absolutely positive about your decision. Take your time to think things over before you make up your mind, and consider speaking to a counselor or therapist about your situation.

  • Timing is everything. Once you are certain that getting a divorce is the best decision for you and your family, you should plan out when and where you will have the conversation. If you have children, try to talk to your spouse about getting a divorce during a time when the kids are not home. Typically, a safe space, such as your home, is the ideal setting for this conversation, but you can also choose a more neutral or public setting, such as a coffee shop if you are unsure or fearful of how your spouse will react.

  • Be honest and straightforward. Once you begin the conversation, try to be as honest and straightforward as possible. Try to focus the conversation on explaining that you are unhappy and that this is the reason for this needed change. Do not focus the conversation on events that happened during the marriage or things that your spouse did wrong. Suggest working cooperatively with each other to complete your divorce.

  • Give your spouse time to process everything. Just because you have told your spouse that you want a divorce does not mean that everyone else should know just quite yet. Once you have had the conversation with your spouse, give him or her time to process everything that you talked about. After a few days, regroup and come up with a game plan to tell your children as well as other family members and friends.

Contact a Kane County Divorce Attorney

Once you have told your spouse about your desire for a divorce, you should then begin to research your legal options as far as which type of divorce is appropriate and what your next steps should be. At the Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C., we understand how overwhelming the entire divorce process can be. Our North Aurora divorce lawyers will do their best to guide you through the proceedings and advocate for your best interests. Setting up a consultation is easy; simply call our office today at 630-409-8184 to schedule a time that is convenient for you.




The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C.


1444 North Farnsworth Avenue, Suite 307, Aurora, IL 60505

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