The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C.


1444 North Farnsworth Avenue, Suite 307, Aurora, IL 60505

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Be Careful With Communication During Divorce

Posted on in Aurora Family Law Attorney

communication, DuPage County divorce attorneyThe process of divorce is going to be challenging no matter how well you and the other party get along. There are simply too many variables to expect everything to be resolved easily and without some measure of disagreement. Even if the two of you agree on most matters of substance, personal feeling of anger, grief, or betrayal over the end of your relationship can complicate the proceedings. Along the way, you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse will need to keep lines of communication open between you, especially if you have children together. It is absolutely critical for you to be aware of what you are saying and how it may be received so that you can avoid creating additional problems down the road.

Decide on a Method of Communication

The first thing you can do to prevent misunderstandings is to reach an agreement regarding the types of communication you and your spouse should use throughout the divorce process. If your relationship is such that speaking directly to one another in person or over the phone is acceptable, do so very carefully. Keep notes about your conversations, so that the words you choose cannot be misconstrued or misinterpreted. For many divorcing couples, a written form of communication works better, including email or text messages. Emails and text messages generally allow you the ability to consider your words more carefully, helping to ensure that what you send is exactly what you mean.

Assume Someone Else Sees

Any type of message or communication that you send to your spouse could potentially find its way in front of a judge as evidence in your case. Of course, this will only be a problem if something you have said or written reflects negatively on you or your ability to provide for your children. With that in mind, it is safest to compose your messages as if you know that a presiding judge will eventually see them. Avoid lashing out, responding in anger, and personally attacking your spouse; rather, keep your communications focused on the actual issues at hand.

Recognize Your Limitations

In the most extreme cases, you may realize that you cannot remain civil when communicating with your soon-to-be ex. If communication is impossible, you may need to rely on your respective attorneys to exchange information. This, of course, can drastically slow down your divorce proceedings, but a slower process is preferable to one that spirals out of control. When attorneys handle all of the communication, the likelihood of miscommunication or a message admitted as evidence is significantly reduced.

Responsible Advice

If you are considering divorce and are concerned about communicating with your spouse along the way, contact an experienced DuPage County family law attorney. We can help you develop a strategy to ensure your interests are fully protected and to eliminate unpleasant surprises. Call 630-409-8184 to schedule your confidential consultation at the Law Office of Matthew M. Williams today.


The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C.


1444 North Farnsworth Avenue, Suite 307, Aurora, IL 60505

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