The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C.


1444 North Farnsworth Avenue, Suite 307, Aurora, IL 60505

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How to Control Your Emotions During a Divorce

Posted on in Divorce

Aurora divorce lawyer - how to copeWhen you are going through a divorce, you may experience a wide range of emotions. One day you may be furious with your ex and the next day you may feel depressed about your family falling apart. Unfortunately, being overly emotional may cloud your judgment and cause you to make costly mistakes. 

In an Illinois divorce, divorcing spouses have the opportunity to resolve divorce issues like the division of assets and the allocation of parental responsibilities through an out-of-court agreement. If the couple cannot reach an agreement about these issues, the court may need to step in and make a decision for the spouses. Having a clear head puts you in a better position to negotiate an agreement about these divorce concerns. If your case does advance to litigation, learning how to manage your emotions can make the divorce proceedings less stressful.

Tips to Cope with Your Emotions 

It is understandable that you may feel sadness, anger, and resentment towards your ex. However, you can take steps to cope with these emotions in constructive ways and move on with your life.

  • Think before you react. When you are filled with rage, you may be tempted to call your ex and scream at him or her. In this situation, you should take a deep breath and think about the consequences this action may bring. You will likely realize that acting out on your anger is not worth it.

  • Take good care of yourself. During your divorce, it is especially important to take proper care of your body and mind. Make sure to get eight hours of sleep a night, eat a nutritious diet, exercise on a regular basis, and participate in activities that make you happy.

  • Talk to someone. It is helpful to talk to a trusted family member or friend when you are angry or upset. If you get your feelings out in the open, you will feel better and be less likely to lash out at your ex.

  • Seek therapy. If you do not feel comfortable talking to family or friends about your feelings, consider seeing a mental health therapist. He or she can help you come to terms with your divorce and deal with your emotions in healthier ways.

  • Use “I” when expressing your emotions. If you wish to tell your ex how you feel, always use “I” statements. For example, instead of saying, “You are a bad parent for not showing up to visitation,” say “I get upset when you do not fulfill your obligations.”


Contact a Kane County Divorce Lawyer

If you need assistance with your divorce, contact a St. Charles, IL divorce attorney. At the Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C., we understand how stressful divorce proceedings can be and want to guide you through the process. Call us at 630-409-8184 to schedule a confidential consultation.



The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C.


1444 North Farnsworth Avenue, Suite 307, Aurora, IL 60505

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