Recent Blog Posts

 Posted on October 21, 2016 in Child Custody

The decision to file for divorce is always a difficult one, but the challenges are often magnified when the situation involves children. While issues like marital property and spousal support are certainly important, the future of your children and your parental rights should never take a back seat to more material concerns. The judge overseeing your divorce has authority under the law to issue orders regarding your children, but the process should begin with the two people who know your children the best: you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse.

Statutory Encouragement

The Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act presumes that divorcing parents will have an interest in developing a parenting plan that fits their individual circumstances and serves the best interests of their children. Therefore, divorcing parents are expected to draft and submit a proposed arrangement to the court. Each parent may draft a separate plan or the parents can work together on a single proposal. If the parents submit a jointly-drafted plan, the court must review it to be sure that it is reasonable and that the child’s interests are fully protected.

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 Posted on October 14, 2016 in Divorce

Do you know a couple who intentionally chose to get married on a particular date based on how the month, day, and year coincided—January 2, 2003, for example, often written as 1/2/03? Or perhaps you know a couple who plan to get married on Valentine’s Day. While such choices are often seen as quirky or romantic, new research suggests that couples who marry on dates that may be considered gimmicky could be at a higher risk for divorce than those who choose more traditional dates.

Australian Study

Economists at the University of Melbourne in Australia were interested in learning more about the impact that a couple’s wedding day could have on the future of the marriage. The team cited previous research suggesting that expensive weddings and pricey engagement rings increased the risk of divorce while well-attended weddings with formal ceremonies decreased such risks. Looking to expand these ideas, the Australian team looked at more than one million Dutch marriages from 1999-2013 and examined how the choice of a wedding date fared for couples on average.

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 Posted on October 12, 2016 in Divorce

As most people are aware, somewhere between 30 and 40 percent of all marriages today will eventually end in divorce. While this number has declined in recent years, a 60-70 percent success rate for marriage is still not all that encouraging. Marriages can break down for any number of reasons, and, in most cases, divorce is the result of a combination of many factors, some within the spouses’ control and some not.

A Challenging Journey

The process of divorce, however, can be extremely difficult with many decisions to be made and arrangements to be negotiated. This does not even take into account the emotional and psychological struggle that many divorcing individuals go through as the process goes along. The cumulative effect of all of the difficulties can be overwhelming at times, but some experts suggest that there may be a way to ease your mind a little and to provide emotional relief to your spouse at the same time. Confessing, or taking responsibility for wrongs you may have committed, can go a long way in making the divorce process much smoother for the both of you.

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 Posted on October 07, 2016 in Divorce

October is Domestic Awareness Month, and it is important to note that domestic violence is not limited to physical actions like hitting and kicking. In many cases, emotional abuse or psychological abuse can be just as destructive as physical abuse, and can certainly lead to the breakdown of a marriage. In fact, for many years, repeated mental or emotional cruelty was considered grounds for divorce in Illinois. While all divorces in the state must now be on the no-fault grounds of irreconcilable differences, it is still important to be able to recognize such victimization when it occurs. One type of this emotional abuse is referred to as “gaslighting.”

Does your partner often deny any knowledge of events or conversations that you know took place? On the opposite end, does he or she insist things happened which did not? Does he or she accuse you of misremembering past events? Does your partner ever insist that you said or did something of which you have no relocation? If so, you may be a victim of gaslighting.

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 Posted on September 30, 2016 in Divorce

When you are involved in a long-term committed relationship or a marriage—communication is one of the most important keys to happiness. Those who are able to communicate tend to enjoy higher levels of marital satisfaction and a better understanding of one another. Those who cannot or who only speak to one another superficially are likely to find their marriage spiraling quickly toward divorce.

The Concept of Stonewalling

Spouses can easily become frustrated with each other for any number of reasons. The stresses of day-to-day life can begin to drive a wedge between marital partners. Careless behavior, bad habits, and other minor annoyances start to become major issues if and when communication breaks down.

Marriage researcher John Gottman, Ph.D., was the first relationship expert to use the term “stonewalling” to describe the behavior of a spouse who refuses to engage in conversation with his or her partner. Stonewalling, in effect, is one partner shutting down and preventing effective communication from taking place.

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 Posted on September 21, 2016 in Divorce

While it can no longer be formally cited as grounds for divorce in Illinois, infidelity is still a major problem for many married couples. But, what causes cheating? How can so many people make such a choice when they know that their actions will hurt their partners? As you might expect, those who cheat tend to do so for a variety of reasons, and understanding what they are may help prevent unexpected surprises in your relationship.

Personal Reasons

For some people, the inclination to cheat may be almost hard-wired. Gender, personality, and individual values may make an individual more inclined to be unfaithful. Men are more likely to cheat than women, while those with strong conservative religious and political beliefs are often less likely to commit acts of infidelity.

Relationship Factors

Sociologists and marriage experts suggest that a person who is unhappy or unsatisfied in his or her marriage—consciously or not—may be more prone to cheating. A spouse who feels fulfilled, appreciated, and genuinely happy in the relationship is less likely to seek another source of such feelings. When cheating does occur due to relationship factors, the couple must consider carefully whether or not the marriage is worth saving, because doing so will take a great deal of work.

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 Posted on September 16, 2016 in Child Support

Earlier this year, a Cook County judge ordered a Herscher car dealership to pay $2.3 million in fines for failing to withhold child support payments from the paychecks of a former employee. The decision was the largest child-support related ruling in the history of Illinois, but it seems that the dealership will only be held responsible for part of the original fine.

The Daily Journal in Kankakee reports that dealership and the woman who filed the original complaint have reached an agreement to close the matter for good. The details of the settlement, including the final amount to be paid, have not been released, but both sides say they are satisfied with the outcome.

Unprecedented Fine

Back in April, Cook County Judge Bonita Coleman ruled that Country Chevrolet in Herscher failed to comply with state laws requiring the withholding of wages for child support. The dealership argued that the worker in question—the company’s finance manager—was an independent contractor and not an employee, so the law did not apply. Judge Coleman disagreed and ordered the dealership to pay almost $8,000 in back child support for the nine months the man was employed. The judge also levied a fine of $100 per day for the more than two years it took for the dealership to make appropriate payments to the Illinois State Disbursement Unit. The total fine was approximately $2.3 million, the biggest such fine on record in the state.

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 Posted on September 14, 2016 in Prenuptial & Postnuptial Agreements

In the United States, an estimated 40 to 50 percent of all first marriages end in divorce. That number jumps to 60 percent for second and subsequent marriages. In survey after survey, one of the top issues that cause major rifts between married couples is finances. Different spending habits, different saving habits, and other differing perspectives on how money should be handled can do a lot of damage in a marriage. For example, one survey revealed that 47 percent of the couples surveyed had completely opposite spending and saving habits, which led to much stress in the marriage.

These statistics make a good argument as to why it is critical for engaged couples to have serious discussions regarding finances before they get married. Knowing how your future spouse handles money can help avoid big surprises after the vows are exchanged.

Future Career Goals

Knowing what your significant other’s future career and income goals are will help give you good insight of where money ranks in their priority list. Does your future spouse have a career which requires long hours away from home? Or does your future spouse have a more family-oriented outlook and is not as concerned with advancements in their line of work? Understanding what each other’s future goals are will help the two of you achieve balance in your marriage.

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 Posted on September 09, 2016 in Divorce

Along with lack of commitment and arguing, infidelity joins the ranks of the top three reasons a marriage results in divorce. In one survey, up to 55 percent of the those who were divorcing cited that infidelity was among the primary culprits. Marriage counsellors everywhere are always watching for signs of infidelity, stating that it nearly always starts as an emotional affair that results in a physical one. However things progressed to that point, the point is that the couple now intends to split. Can cheating have a large impact on divorce outcomes?

Effects on Divorce

Unlike some other states, Illinois is considered to be a “no fault” state when it comes to dissolution of marriage. The idea that you can divorce each other and you win everything because your spouse cheated does not ring true in most cases in the Land of Lincoln. Beginning in 2016, a divorce can only be granted in the state on the no-fault grounds of irreconcilable differences.

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 Posted on September 07, 2016 in Property Division

In an Illinois divorce, the property and assets of a couple are equitably (fairly) divided. What a lot of couples fail to take into account is that this process of division also applies to their debt. It does not just disappear, after all. Be prepared and protect your financial future. Know how to deal with debt during the divorce process, and how you can effectively protect yourself from debt that should no longer be considered “yours” once everything is completed.

Taking a Proactive Approach to Debt Before the Divorce

All too often, couples wait put off dealing with debt until the last possible minute, assuming it will all just work itself out during the divorce process. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. Instead, debt may be wrongly assigned to a party that cannot reasonably afford it. However, even if debt is equitably distributed during the divorce, failure to think ahead can come back to haunt the one who should have been “off the hook.” This can be especially true in situations involving joint debts, such as joint credit cards, mortgages, and other installment loans.

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