Recent Blog Posts

Predicting Divorce

 Posted on March 29, 2018 in Divorce

There are some people who like to say that they saw a divorce “coming from a mile away,” but the reality is that predicting the end of a marriage is not like picking a winner at the track. However, there are some who study marriage and divorce and seem to think that, like predicting the weather or the outcomes of sporting events, there definitely are some signs or indications that some marriages are more doomed to fail than others.

What Divorced Couples Have in Common

Just as most Super Bowl championship teams have a great defense or a game-changing playmaker, or World Series champs have great pitching and reliable defense, some social scientists have come to the conclusion that divorce couples also share certain aspects. While nothing is 100 percent certain, there is some credibility to their findings.

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Establishing Guardianship for Your Children

 Posted on March 27, 2018 in Guardianship

The idea of leaving your children parentless due to a tragic illness or accident is not a thought on which many like to dwell. However, taking necessary steps now to establish a clear and legal guardianship plan for your children can provide a measure of relief knowing you have prepared for their safekeeping.

What to Do, How to Do It

Preparing for the care of your children in the event of your death can be an easy process if one adheres to established laws and procedures. Ensuring your guardianship plan passes legal muster will prevent others from contesting guardianship, and wresting away custody of your children from those who you want to raise your kids. Before you get started, however, you probably have some questions:

• What exactly is a guardian? A good place to start. Technically speaking, a guardian is the person, agency, or organization ordered the courts to oversee the well-being of another. Most parents, in planning for guardianship of their children, select a loved and trusted family member.

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What to Know About Divorce Before You Divorce

 Posted on March 22, 2018 in Divorce

Frequently it happens that following a divorce one might find him or herself, not necessarily regretting their divorce, but perhaps wishing they had known more about the life they are about to enter. There are a variety of resources to consult, but be careful of the information you obtain, and from who or where you receive it.

For Your Consideration

There are so many variables when it comes to divorce, and while there is no, all-knowing crystal ball, there is enough information and anecdotal data to provide people with a map of the obstacles to be faced. Provided here are some descriptions of divorced-life hurdles, gathered from those who have experienced divorce:

• How will the divorce affect your children, and, specifically, toddler-age children? Younger children have not yet developed the emotions or communication skills to effectively convey how the divorce is impacting them. Some have found success with “play therapy,” but there is no way to predict exactly how a divorce will affect them.

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Signs of a Successful Relationship

 Posted on March 20, 2018 in Divorce

We generally use this space to provide readers with information about the various issues that surround divorce, the divorce process, child custody, asset division and other related matters. It is important that when one considers pursuing a divorce they have as much information as possible in order to make the best decision. This week we diverge slightly to take a closer look not at what causes divorce, but rather some of the signs that a relationship may last the duration.

Strong Relationship Building Blocks

Consider these opinions of what makes for a successful relationship when examining your own motives for getting married. It is difficult to measure up on all counts, but recognizing a few of these in your own life could be a good sign:

• Being together for the right reasons; partners share a deep, genuine admiration for each other. Getting married because you do not want to be single is not a good reason to enter into a relationship.

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Things About Divorce Only Divorced People Know

 Posted on March 15, 2018 in Divorce

There are a lot of people out there who claim to be experts on a wide variety of matters. The truth is that more times than not, the most knowledgeable person on any issue is the one who has lived the experience. This holds for divorce, as there are certain things about ending your marriage and living as a divorced adult that only those who preceded you really understand.

Been There, Done That

It is no secret that even just considering a divorce is something that weighs heavily on one’s mind, as the lasting implications affect more than just the married couple and more than just the immediate household. Here is a list of issues that come with a divorce, from those who went through the process:

• You will feel happy. This is true. It may seem odd now, but you will experience some amount of joy in your life despite the devastating effects of divorce.

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Telling Children about Divorce

 Posted on March 13, 2018 in Child Custody

Honest and open communication is an important tool in any relationship. When it comes to breaking the news about an impending divorce, good communication skills will come in handy. This is especially true when it comes time to telling your children that you and your spouse are divorcing, and the subject of child custody becomes a reality.

Breaking the News

Just as many adults are affected by the news of divorce, children frequently take the news quite hard. The range of emotions, from anger to guilt, can impact many other areas of their young lives. Here are a few thoughts on the subject that may just help you break the news while easing the pain your children feel, even if just a little bit:

• Keep your own emotions in check when telling your children about the divorce. This will put you in a good frame of mind when discussing the matter with the kids.

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Reasons for Divorce

 Posted on March 08, 2018 in Divorce

The reasons people divorce, as well as those why they marry, are sometimes difficult to put into words. Sometimes the cause is easy to pinpoint, whether infidelity, incompatibility or even abuse, but frequently one or both spouses discover some innate feeling that only makes sense to that person. Whether others believe you or not, when you decide that divorce is the right decision the reasons may only make sense to you.

Rarely Discussed Reasons for Divorce

As mentioned above, there are some pretty common and overt reasons why marriages fail. When one or both spouses cheat, partake in an extramarital affair, or place other things, such as work or time with friends, ahead of the marriage it often signals the end of that relationship. However, presented here are some common reasons people choose to divorce that, although common, rarely receive the attention they deserve.

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Illinois Divorce Laws

 Posted on March 06, 2018 in Divorce

When it comes to divorce, the laws pertaining to alimony, asset, and property division, child custody and support and other related issues can vary from state to state. The differences between one state and the other might be enough for some to take their divorce on a road trip.

Facts About Divorce in Illinois

While divorce laws tend to vary from state to state, it is important to know the laws that oversee such matters here in Illinois. Here is a quick summary of some of the basics.

• Illinois requires residency for at least three months (90 days) in order to file for divorce in that state.
• Illinois is both a “fault” and “no-fault” divorce state. This means couples may pursue divorce under either category.
• Illinois requires couples to make use of a mediator when working out issues related to child custody.

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Violating a Custody Agreement

 Posted on February 28, 2018 in Child Custody

The impact of a divorce on children can have strong and lasting effects, impacting the education, social life, and emotional well being. It is for these and other reasons great care is taken to create a custody agreement that is best for the children. However, violating a custody agreement, even in the slightest way, can alter the terms of that agreement and negatively affect your relationship with the children and your ex-spouse.

What Should You Do?

You agree to a custody arrangement and think everything is fine. Then, when it comes time to make a lawful visit, your ex-spouse throws up roadblocks or prevents the visit completely. The steps you should take next are not always clear.

• Some say you should call the police, but some officers will tell you to take up the matter with the court. Others may be more sympathetic and attempt to intervene and accompany you to your schedule visitation in order to ensure the other parent fully complies.

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Breaking the News About Your Divorce

 Posted on February 26, 2018 in Divorce

After making the decision to end your marriage, the decision on how best to break the news of a divorce to children, family and friends can weigh heavily on a person. In a time like this, one is hopeful that their announcement will be met with understanding and support, but you can expect to hear your share of blame and judgements.

Telling Family and Friends

Informing the people closest to you may require different strategies in order to present a clear message about the impending divorce.

Children: Be gentle when telling the children. Although children can be quite intuitive, they are also quite sensitive. Do not wait to tell them, and reassure them it is not their fault and they are still loved. Following up your words with the actions to back them up is very important.

Parents and In-laws: Adults, especially those who may have experienced a bad relationship, may pick up on the signs or other vibes that your marriage is in trouble. Perhaps consider prepping them with some hints so the news, even though they may already suspect, does not hit them like a bombshell.

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