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Tips for Introducing a New Partner to Children After a Divorce
Divorce is not an easy concept for many children to grasp. Even if they understand the basics of what a divorce means, many children still cling to the hope that their parents might get back together. Introducing your children to your new partner is a task that can be daunting and requires a certain level of prudence. Your children should be at the forefront of your concerns, so dating after your divorce should be as unobtrusive to your children as possible until both you and they are ready to open their minds and arms to a new way of life.
Timing Is Everything
If you introduce your new partner to your children before they have had time to mourn the dissipation of their family unit, results could be less-than-desirable. Some experts say it takes at least a year before children are comfortable with their new life and have settled into their new routine of having divorced parents.
You should also give the new relationship time so that you can evaluate the potential of the relationship. When children have new people in their lives, they tend to get attached to them. If that person is suddenly not there anymore, they will have to go through the break up just like you. While there are no guarantees that any relationship is long term, you should be sure that your new partner understands your concerns that you have about introducing them to your children.
Be Honest with Your Children
Though this is an age-sensitive topic, you should be as honest as is appropriate with your children. You can tell younger children that your new partner is your new friend and that you would like him or her to become friends with each other. With older children or teenagers, they might be more curious as to the status of the relationship. If you feel comfortable doing so, you can tell teenagers that you are dating and that your new partner is your new boyfriend or girlfriend.
Get Help From a DuPage County Divorce Attorney
For some people, dating after a divorce can be an exciting and fun time in their life. You are able to explore your feelings for other people and enjoy the freedom from your ex, but you should also take into consideration how new relationships will affect your children. Going through divorce can be tough on children, but with the help of an Aurora divorce lawyer, you can help your children avoid the stress of a divorce. Contact The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C. at 630-409-8184 to set up a consultation.
Ways to Financially Prepare for Divorce
“I think we should get a divorce.” Whether those words came as a total and complete shock or it was only a matter of time until they were uttered, it is never easy to hear that your marriage is falling apart. Divorce is an emotionally draining process, but it can also put a strain on your finances. Luckily, you can alleviate some of that strain by making sure you are well prepared before you even begin the divorce process. Making sure your finances are in order before you begin can save you some stress and a headache or two in the long run.
Gather Your Records
Your first step in preparing yourself and your finances for divorce is by gathering all of your financial records and making copies of them. You should make sure that you have copies of your:
- Bank account statements from the past year, including checking and savings;
Mistakes to Avoid in an Illinois Divorce
Getting a divorce is a time-consuming, stressful and frustrating process. Not only are you legally separating yourself from your ex, but you are also emotionally cutting them out of your life - a divorce is a loss and it should be treated like one. There are many considerations you must make when you get a divorce and that are a lot of ways you can make mistakes, but an Illinois divorce attorney who has experience in successful divorce cases can help you make the right decisions for your family. From issues with finances to issues with your emotional wellbeing, here are five mistakes that you should avoid making during your divorce:
Not Being Prepared and Informed
The thing that is going to help you most during your divorce is being prepared with all of the information that you are going to need and being informed about your financial situation. Prior to beginning a divorce, make sure you have enough money set aside for legal fees, court costs and other costs you may incur. You should also have copies of all important financial documents and records including bank statements, pay stubs, tax returns, property deeds, vehicle titles and registrations, wills and trusts and any other pertinent information.
Not Considering All of Your Options
Many people think that their only option when it comes to divorce is the traditional divorce litigation. Now, there are many forms of alternative dispute resolution to choose from when you want to divorce, including mediation, collaborative law, and simplified dissolution. You should talk with an attorney to discuss all of your options before you choose one.
Not Putting Your Children First
With everything that you are thinking about and dealing with during a divorce, your children can be unintentionally put on the backburner. You should always have your children at the forefront of the decisions that you are making. Make sure you have a parenting plan created when you get a divorce so that you and your children know what will happen once the separation is final.
Letting Your Emotions Take Over
Though it may seem impossible, letting your emotions get the best of you during your divorce is not good for anyone. You may have feelings of anger, sadness, grief, and resentment boiling in your mind, but you cannot let those feelings fuel your decisions that will affect you for the rest of your life. Seeing a counselor or therapist can help you sort out these emotions during this troubling time.
Not Hiring a Knowledgeable DuPage County Divorce Lawyer
One of your biggest mistakes can be not hiring competent legal representation. You should always have some sort of legal counsel with you when you are negotiating terms of your divorce settlement so that you can be informed about the decisions you are making and how they will impact you later. By hiring a well-versed Aurora divorce lawyer, you can be sure that all of your needs are being taken care of. The attorneys at The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C. will advocate for you and guide you every step of the way through your divorce. Call the office at 630-409-8184 to schedule an appointment.
Back-to-School Tips for Divorced Parents
As summer comes to a close, children are returning back to school, some of which are excited to begin learning new things, while others are depressed that summer vacation is over. While some children are anxious to begin the new school year, some parents are as well. New school years can bring about issues for some divorced parents, such as purchasing school supplies, managing permission forms, communicating with teachers, and parent-teacher conferences. Back-to-school time can be daunting for divorced parents, which is why it can be beneficial to keep these tips in mind when dealing with issues that may arise throughout the school year:
Split the Cost of School Supplies
With the start of a new school year comes the need for new school supplies. With a long list of pencils, crayons, paper, folders and scissors that the teacher sends home, plus new school clothes, uniforms, shoes, a backpack and lunchbox, it is safe to say you will probably be spending a small fortune on these items. If you and your spouse do not have a prior arrangement worked out, it is a good idea to split the cost of these supplies, so one of you is not bearing the brunt of it.
Creating a Comprehensive Parenting Plan in an Illinois Divorce
In addition to dividing property, savings accounts, and retirement funds, many divorcing couples also have children that they must make arrangements for. Divorce is hard on everyone in the family, but it is arguably the hardest on the children. By creating a comprehensive parenting plan that encompasses as many issues pertaining to the children as possible, you can help eliminate some of the trepidation and mystery that a divorce brings.
Parenting Plan Is Required by Law
Under Illinois law, all couples who are divorcing and have children together must submit a parenting plan that covers a certain set of issues. These parenting plans help the court decide what the proper course of action is when awarding parenting responsibility and parenting time. If a couple does not have a comprehensive parenting plan to submit to the courts, they will be required to attend mediation to come up with a parenting plan that is agreeable to both parents.
What to Do and Not Do During Divorce
One of the most complicated and confusing times of your life can be your divorce. Divorce can bring about a plethora of emotions such as anger, jealousy, resentment, sadness, and rage. These emotions are normal, but they can make you lose sight of what is really important when it comes to divorce. Here are some do’s and don’ts that you can follow during your divorce to help you keep your sights on what is important. These tips can help remind you of what you should focus on during your divorce.
Do:
- Stop arguing with your spouse. It is doing nothing positive for you or them and is only stressing you out more.
- Try to resolve things together. Your goal should try to keep things as amicable as possible between you and your spouse. It will save you a lot of time, money and stress in the long run.
- Eliminate intimacy between you and your spouse. Any kind of emotional, verbal and physical intimacy can be confusing if you are in the process of getting a divorce.
Child Support Modification in Illinois
So you have gone through all of the steps and jumped through all of the hoops to request and receive child support. But now you have a substantial change in your life, which will require a change in your child’s support. Though it is not impossible to make a modification to the child support orders, it can be a tedious process due to the requirements that need to be met before you can have the modifications granted.
Can I Ask for a Child Support Modification?
Once a child support order is issued, the non-custodial parent must pay child support until the child turns 18 or graduates from high school, whichever is later. Existing child support orders can go through the modification review process if:
- It has been at least three years since the establishment of the order or the last modification review;
Items Often Overlooked in a Divorce Settlement
There are a million and one things that you need to cover in a divorce settlement. There is the house, child support, allocation of parenting responsibilities, splitting bank accounts, and determining spousal support. With so many things already on your mind, it is easy to forget about things that are smaller - but still just as important. These things may not be significant now, but they can affect you in the future.
Debts or Other Financial Obligations
Usually divorcing couples argue about who gets the money in the savings account and who gets to keep the house - nobody is arguing about who gets to repay debt. When you get divorced, you are not forgiven of your debt and you still have the responsibility to pay it back. Whether it be personal debt, credit cards, or a mortgage, you should outline who pays what so there is no confusion.
Car Insurance
If you have children, car insurance is something you will have to consider when they come of age to drive. Many insurance companies will increase your premiums automatically when your children reach the driving age, even if they are not actually driving your car. The sooner you can negotiate how those extra costs are divided, the better.
College Costs for Your Children
In Illinois, parents have the responsibility to help their children attend post-secondary education if they choose to. This means that the courts will require one or both parents to contribute to the child’s education if it is necessary. Portions of the parents' income or property could be used to cover costs such as college application fees, college entrance exams, books and supplies, living expenses and tuition. You can choose to outline your own college payment plans in a divorce settlement if you do not want the courts to decide for you.
Collections and Memorabilia
Things such as books, art, antiques, and coins can be just a hobby to you, but they can be worth a lot of money. Not only are they intrinsically valuable to you, they are also financially valuable, so it is important for you to decide what happens to them when you divorce.
Get Help from a Kendall County Divorce Lawyer
There are many things that should be covered in a divorce settlement--too many things for you to remember on your own. If you are getting a divorce, you should contact a Naperville divorce attorney to help you keep everything straight. Rely on The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C. to help you come to a comprehensive and agreeable divorce settlement. Call the office at 630-409-8184 to set up a consultation.
Uncontested Divorce: How to Speed Up the Illinois Divorce Process
In a divorce, things can get ugly and they can get ugly fast. Once you have made the decision to separate from your spouse, the last thing you want to do is spend months, even years, arguing with them over certain things, attending court hearings, and waiting for the courts to finalize everything. This is the case for many couples who cannot come to an agreement on things. When you make the decision to divorce, you want the divorce to go as quickly and as smoothly as possible. This is where a joint simplified dissolution of marriage may come in handy.
What Is a Joint Simplified Dissolution of Marriage?
This type of divorce is an uncontested divorce, meaning there are not any points of disagreement or argument between the two parties who are getting divorced. Generally, for the divorce to be uncontested, both spouses have to agree on:
- Division of the marital property;
- Spousal support;
- How marital debts will be paid off; and
Consider a Postnuptial Agreement for Your Marriage
Prenuptial and postnuptial agreements have long been considered taboo or unromantic. While it is probably close to one of the most unromantic topics you could discuss, divorce is a possible reality for any married couple. Entering into a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement can help you if you do decide to get a divorce somewhere along the road. Ironically enough, these kinds of agreements can also help you during your marriage, too, which is one of the reasons why they have become more popular.
What Is a Postnuptial Agreement?
Both prenuptial and postnuptial agreements are legal documents that can outline certain things in the event that a marriage ends in divorce. Unlike prenuptial agreements, which are signed prior to the marriage, postnuptial agreements are ones that are formed and signed after a couple is already married.
Ready to Get Started?
To schedule a free consultation with Aurora divorce attorney, Matthew M. Williams, call 630-409-8184 or fill out the form below.
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