Recent Blog Posts

 Posted on February 28, 2019 in Divorce

You would not think so, but some divorces are amicable and calm, mostly because the divorce was not contested and both spouses were in agreement about issues pertaining to the divorce. Though that is the perfect idea of a divorce, we do not live in a perfect world and more often than not, there is some sort of fighting and disagreement during the divorce process. In severe cases, the divorcing couple cannot stand to be in the same room as each other, making for a very high-conflict divorce. If you are experiencing a high-conflict divorce, here are a few tips you can use to help you cope.

Create Boundaries

The first step in dealing with a high-conflict spouse and a high-conflict divorce is setting boundaries for the new relationship you will have. Whether these boundaries are with your co-parenting relationship, the communication between the two of you or any other issue, boundaries are essential. Create them and stick to them.

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 Posted on February 20, 2019 in Divorce

Nothing lasts forever and in this day and age, marriages are included in that saying. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), nearly 36 percent of couples experience some form of marital disruption by their tenth year of marriage. By the time couples have been married for at least 20 years, that percentage jumps to 53 percent. Though those numbers seem high, some researchers have actually said that the U.S. divorce rate is declining. So why is the rate of marital disruption so high? Here are a few of the most commonly cited reasons that couples get a divorce. Marrying at a Young Age You have heard it before -- getting married too young is not a good idea. Many studies have shown that couples who get married when they are teens or young adults tend to have a higher divorce rate than couples who get married in their late 20s or early 30s. Infidelity This one is perhaps one of the more well-known reasons for getting a divorce. Cheating on your spouse can be the kiss of death for a marriage. When one spouse cheats on another, the trust between the two of them is broken and if you are already experiencing a weak sense of trust, cheating may be the end. Addiction and/or Substance Abuse Another commonly-cited reason for divorce is one spouse’s drug or alcohol use. When you are addicted to something, it consumes your mind and life. A partner who is addicted to drugs or alcohol can destroy the family and be the last straw for some couples. Financial Problems Many couples therapists say that one of the main reasons couples seek therapy is for financial issues. Many couples also say that money problems were the reason for their divorce. When couples do not agree on the way money should be handled, arguments can become heated and divorces can result.

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 Posted on February 16, 2019 in Child Custody

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), there are around 44 million people who experience a mental illness in any given year and around 10 million adults live with a chronic mental illness. Mental illness can include a vast variety of diseases, including bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, eating disorders and post-traumatic stress disorder, though the most common mental illnesses in the United States are depression and anxiety disorders. Going through a divorce can affect those with a mental illness more than the average person, emotionally and mentally. While it is not a major and definite factor in deciding parenting time and responsibilities in Illinois, it can play a factor.

Making Decisions Involving Children in a Divorce

According to the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act, when a judge is making decisions involving children in a divorce, he or she must make those decisions in consideration of the child’s best interests. Many factors are taken into consideration when determining the child’s best interests and some of these factors include:

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 Posted on February 13, 2019 in Divorce

Marriage is not easy. It takes a lot of work, effort, and persistence to make a marriage work, but sometimes it does not matter how hard you try -- you are destined to divorce. According to the National Survey of Family Growth, more than 20 percent of first marriages end in divorce within the first five years and 48 percent of marriages end before they hit 20 years. Divorce is an emotionally stressful and trying process, but sometimes it is one of the best things you can do for you and your spouse. Instead of making life as difficult as possible for both you and your soon-to-be ex, you should try focusing on making your split as healthy and smooth as possible.

Cooperate and Communicate

When you begin the divorce process, you will probably feel a flood of emotions, like anger, grief, and depression. When emotions are running this high, it is easy for you to do and say things that can negatively affect the divorce process. Remember, your emotions are valid, but how you handle them is important. Make sure you maintain an open line of communication with your spouse and remember that cooperation is key.

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 Posted on February 06, 2019 in Divorce

Most people do not spend a lot of their time in court, which can make for some trepidation when you are required to appear. When you get a divorce, no matter the route you decide to take, you will have to appear in court before a judge at least once to finalize your case. When it comes to Illinois divorce cases, dressing for success takes on a whole new meaning. While it may seem ridiculous, the way you dress can have an effect on the outcome of your divorce proceeding. Here are a couple of tips to help you determine what to wear before you attend your divorce proceeding:

Guidelines for Women

The courtroom is a very formal place where you are going to represent yourself to the judge. Because of this, you should aim to dress conservatively and professionally. Women should wear items of clothing such as:

• A dark, non-patterned dress;

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 Posted on January 29, 2019 in Paternity

In the state of Illinois, a man is only legally presumed to be the father of a child if the mother was married or in a civil union with him when the child was born or within 300 days before the child was born. If the mother was not married when the child was born, the man she names as the father of the child is then referred to as the alleged father. That man will only become the legal father after one of three things happens:

• Both parents complete and sign a Voluntary Acknowledgement of Paternity form when or soon after the child is born;
• An administrative paternity order is entered into by a child support agency; or
• An order of paternity has been entered in court by a judge.

If the father contests the paternity of the child, the mother will then have to file a paternity suit that seeks to establish a parent-child relationship between the father and the child. Once you enter into a paternity suit, the judge will more-than-likely order the mother, the alleged father and the child to submit to genetic testing.

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 Posted on January 25, 2019 in Child Custody

In the United States, the traditional family unit has been changing more and more with each passing year. Families only comprised of a married mother and father and their biological children are now not the only “acceptable” form of a family. With the legalization of gay marriage in the U.S. in 2015, more families are composed of same-sex couples with adopted children. With divorce becoming more common and more socially acceptable, blended families have also become more common. Sometimes, to complete a blended family, step-parents may want to adopt their spouse’s children. This is called stepparent adoption and it is the most common form of adoption in the U.S.

Special Considerations

Related and unrelated adoptions are very similar in some ways, but also very different. Related adoptions can often be easier to complete than unrelated adoptions, but they do come with their own specific set of factors that should be taken into consideration. These include:

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 Posted on January 23, 2019 in Divorce

Divorce is already stressful enough for the entire family. When you are dealing with a spouse who has it out for you, it can become even more difficult and it can make dealing with even the smallest issues a lengthy process. Adding children into the mix makes everything even more difficult, especially when your spouse insists on settling things in the courtroom when they could just as easily be settled outside of the courtroom. Dealing with a toxic spouse is emotionally draining, so here are a few tricks you can use to cope with your spouse during your divorce:

Make Sure You Document Everything

When it comes to toxic spouses, they will often bend the truth, change what they said previously or lie altogether. Do not allow your spouse to make you rethink events that happened in the past. You should not have to question your own memories, so making sure you document everything is key. If you communicate about something important, make sure you either record the conversation or get it in writing, that way you have hard evidence of the conversation that actually took place.

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 Posted on January 18, 2019 in Child Custody

In divorce cases that are less-than-amicable, things can get heated and they usually get heated quickly. While most divorce cases involve children, those cases can often be the most stressful to deal with. Each parent truly wants what is best for their child, but because of the situation, thoughts on what is best for the child may become skewed or muddied with all of the other feelings that the parent may be feeling toward their spouse. In situations like these, the judge or either of the parents is allowed to request a guardian ad litem (GAL) to be a part of any child-related decisions.

What Is a Guardian ad Litem?

In Latin, guardian ad litem literally translates to “guardian for the lawsuit.” In modern-day divorce cases, a guardian ad litem is typically assigned to cases when they are ordered by the judge, but either spouse of the divorce can request a guardian ad litem for their child. The guardian ad litem is a guardian appointed to your specific case and is tasked with the role of protecting the interests of the child.

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 Posted on January 16, 2019 in Collaborative Law

It is no secret that divorce is difficult. What some people do not know is that there is more than one way you can get a divorce. From DIY divorces to mediated divorces, there is a process that fits almost everyone’s situation. One type of divorce -- a collaborative divorce -- can be beneficial to the entire family. A collaborative divorce is one in which both spouses sign an agreement stating that neither of them will go to court and will instead determine solutions to their problems through meetings with attorneys, financial advisers, child specialists, and other professionals. There are many reasons to choose a collaborative divorce over a traditional litigated divorce, but here are just a few:

1. You can actually end up saving money with a collaborative divorce. Traditional litigated divorces can end up costing you four times as much as a collaborative divorce would cost. While you do end up hiring more people to help you complete your divorce, the trained specialists actually help you complete your divorce quicker and with less arguing. Plus, you are saving on countless hours of lawyers fees and court costs.

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