In Illinois divorces, it is not uncommon for child support or spousal support to be awarded to the appropriate parties. A support order of either type is a legally binding court order, meaning failure to pay can result in severe consequences. The state of Illinois understands that many families rely on these support payments in order to provide for themselves and their children. Because of this, failure to pay child support or spousal support is taken very seriously.

What Constitutes Failure to Support?

According to the Illinois Non-Support Punishment Act, failure to support can occur in a few different ways. If a person commits any of the following actions, they can be held in contempt of court:

• Willfully, and without any lawful excuse, refusing to provide for the support or maintenance of his or her spouse, with the knowledge that the spouse is in need of such support or maintenance.

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An order for child support is often arranged as part of a divorce, marital separation, dissolution of marriage, or annulment and may be used to supplement alimony (spousal support) arrangements.

Mechanics of Child Support

Child support is an financial contribution made by a parent to provide for the needs of his or her child following the end of a marriage or other relationship. Support payments are paid by a the supporting parent, or obligor, to the recipient parent, or obligee for the care of a child of a relationship that has been terminated or, perhaps, never existed. In most cases, the supporting parent has less parental responsibilities and parenting time than the recipient, while the obligee is typically the parent with primary residential responsibilities, other caregiver, a legal guardian, or the state.

Going through a divorce can be a long, sometimes ugly, process, and, while most cases are eventually settled, the process can often add unnecessary expenses and negatively affect family members, particularly young children. In recent years, many divorcing couples, attorneys, and courts have begun popularizing a resolution method known as “collaborative law,” which focuses intently on cooperative negotiation.

Potential Advantages

Collaborative law attorneys look to offer a civilized alternative to litigation; produce solutions that address the needs of both parties; reduce costs; and increase their clients control over the proceedings. Privacy and confidentiality are also concerns that are better able to be addressed in collaborative law situations. In collaborative law, both parties retain qualified lawyers who exclusively focus on negotiation from the outset of the case. Under a written agreement, all involved parties and legal counsel expressly commit to avoiding litigation. The required personal investment in the process often leads better compliance with and enforcement of the resulting agreement.

Feeling emotions that run the gamut from relieved to ashamed is perfectly normal in divorce, especially since research shows that divorce stigma is still alive and well in the 21st century. Even though prenuptial agreements and fault-free divorce are more common, there’s still a social and individual stigma about getting a divorce.

According to a new survey taken by 1,000 divorced individuals, shame and sadness are two of the most common emotions after marriage dissolution. Nearly half of the surveyed individuals felt that the stigma of divorce affected them, and women were more likely than men to feel shame post-divorce.

Nearly a third of women admitted trying to push off the breakup as long as possible because of their own individual belief that marriage should last forever. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, however, because respondents also shared that they felt their life was back on track after a few years. Like any major life change, divorce can take some time to get used to, especially if you were deeply entrenched in the routines and habits of your marriage.

Every relationship has its ups and downs and marriage is no exception. The person who will file for divorce is often the one that perceives issues in the marriage more deeply. It is important to know the signals of an impending divorce for the spouse that does not see it coming.

A very common sign that a divorce is imminent is a lack of conflict resolution. That might mean that one spouse talks about problems in the marriage yet the other spouse does nothing to fix these concerns. Or it can be that the spouses never developed a way to constructively move through important issues. Not having resolution to problems can lead to resentment and a deteriorating marriage.

Another common warning sign of divorce is a lack of physical intimacy or affection. Part of any marriage is the discussion of feelings for each other that strengthens the bond. The other part is the physical manifestations of love. If you have noticed a decrease in physical closeness, then there is a problem that should be addressed.

There is an old maxim about marriage that it is better to be happy than it is to be right. Rather than take that on authority, three doctors in New Zealand decided to run a study to see how true it was.  It turns out that the opposite might be truer.

The general practitioners said that the cause of the study was that they often see patients “who lead unnecessarily stressful lives by wanting to be right rather than happy.”  They contacted a couple to act as a trial.  That particular couple was asked to participate due to the power dynamic of their marriage.  The woman in the relationship preferred to be right all the time whereas the man wanted to be happy.

Each day of the study, both spouses were asked to rate their individual quality of life.  The doctors instructed the husband to always agree with whatever his spouse said, be that a request or an opinion.  It did not matter if she was wrong or right.  The wife was unaware of this aspect of the study.

A Colorado man, eager to prevent his wife from receiving any funds in their upcoming divorce, went to a rarely, if ever, heard of extreme. The Colorado Springs Gazette recently reported that Earl Ray Jones allegedly converted funds belonging to him and his wife into gold, then threw it all into the trash. The funds, which the Gazette confirms Jones did convert into gold, were in excess of $500,000. While no one saw Jones throw the gold bars and coins, likely weighing around 22 pounds, into the motel dumpster as he claims, the money is nowhere to be found. No garbage collectors reported the money found, nor has it been recovered from the trash dump.

While this is an extreme example of a man concealing marital assets, actively hiding or spending money or disposing of marital property can result in serious problems. In Illinois, it can result in an unequal distribution of marital property and possibly jail time.

From the Beginning: Concealing Assets in the Initial Report

No matter what happens during the life of a relationship, if that relationship involves children, the primary goal of both parents should be to protect the well-being of the kids. While this is not always the case, most adults in America want what is best for their children. But what does that mean for married parents when they begin seriously considering divorce? The conventional wisdom is that divorce is hard on children, and that the children of divorced parents fare worse in life, both when they are young and once they have reached adulthood. However, more recent findings have shown that children raised in single-parent homes with a divorced parent are likely to adjust just as well as children from homes where parents remained married. Further, there are ways to lessen the impact of the divorce and secure a smoother adjustment for the children.

Behavior Problems in Children

The conventional view of children of divorced parents is sullen, depressed, and angry. However, a recent study from the RAND Corporation shows that this view is exaggerated at best, and that the effects of divorce on the behavior and emotional well-being are marginal. Scholarly articles published before the RAND Corporation’s analysis studied the behavior of children of divorced parents, finding that their overall emotional well-being was less than that of children raised in two-parent households. However, those studies leapt to the conclusion that the divorce itself caused the dip in childhood well-being. They failed to take into consideration the level of conflict between parents preceding the divorce. In some cases, there were statistical findings that some groups of children of divorce exhibited fewer behavior problems than those with married parents. These were selectively downplayed or ignored.