The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C.

630-409-8184

1444 North Farnsworth Avenue, Suite 307, Aurora, IL 60505

Yorkville Office By Appointment

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Aurora parenting time attorney

Depending on where you are in your divorce proceedings, you may not have given much thought about what will happen after everything is said and done. The divorce process usually consumes all of your attention and energy, leaving you little to none to devote to focusing on the future. Most people who file for divorce have a general idea of how the process works, but what they do not know is what happens after everything is over. Life after divorce can be intimidating, but you should also think of it as the beginning of the rest of your life. You may be surprised at what the next chapter holds. 

Expect the Unexpected 

Going through a divorce under any circumstances can be life-changing, but may also be a fresh start. Here are a few things that you may not be expecting after your Illinois divorce:

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North Aurora parenting time attorney

When you created your parenting plan during your divorce, it contained a lot of information. It included what you and your spouse’s parenting time schedules looked like, who your child would spend vacations and school holidays with, and how you and your spouse would settle child-related disputes. What your parenting plan likely did not contain was a game plan for co-parenting during a health crisis, such as the one the world is experiencing with COVID-19. Unprecedented situations may warrant a change in everyone’s routine, so it is important to be flexible and willing to compromise with your ex-spouse while considering your child’s best interests.  

Working Together for Your Child’s Well-Being 

The worldwide coronavirus pandemic has changed the way we go about our daily lives for weeks and in some places, even months. Co-parenting is not an easy task, and it can become even more difficult during a crisis because of the stress and uncertainty that family members are experiencing. Even so, here are a few things you should keep in mind while you navigate co-parenting during this challenging time:

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Posted on in Divorce

Geneva divorce attorney

Depending on the source of statistics, anywhere between 40 and 50 percent of marriages in the United States will end in divorce. Many couples who are married also have children, and kids' well-being can be a significant cause of stress and worry for divorcing parents. Multiple studies have been conducted to determine the effects a divorce can have on kids. Psychological experts have stated that a divorce can have a significant impact on children’s lives, but it is important to realize that the impact does not have to be a negative one. There are many things you can do to ensure your children come out of the divorce in a good place. Below are a few common myths about divorce and children that can be dispelled.

Younger Children Are Not Affected By Divorce 

It has often been thought that young children do not really know what is going on during a divorce, and therefore, they are not affected as much as older children. If they cannot comprehend the situation, how can it impact them? While it is true that babies and toddlers do not really know what is happening during the divorce, that does not mean they do not feel the stress and tension that a divorce can bring. This is why it is important for parents to facilitate peacefulness and cooperation during a divorce.

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North Aurora child custody attorney

Sharing children with another person is one of life’s greatest pleasures, but it can also make for some difficult situations. In particular, if you and your spouse decide to get a divorce, you will always be connected, since you are both still parents to your kids. Although this may be comforting to some, it can be intimidating for others, especially if you do not get along with your ex. It can be challenging to co-parent with your ex-spouse after a divorce, but it is crucial to do so for the sake of your children.

Things You Should Do

Achieving successful co-parenting with your spouse depends on how well you and your spouse are willing to work together and how committed you are to your children. To achieve successful co-parenting, you should:

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b2ap3_thumbnail_Aurora-family-law-attorney.jpg-min.jpgNow that the end of fall is nearing, the weeks will start flying by, and the winter holidays will be here before you know it. While this time of the year is for celebrating, it can prove to be a difficult time for many families, especially for children whose parents no longer live together. Every parent wants to spend special days and holidays with their children, but the reality of co-parenting is that there will more than likely be situations in which your children will be with their other parent instead of with you. Parenting time schedules are often different during the holidays, and adjusting them can be difficult. Here are a few common ways parents can split parenting time during the holiday season:

  • Change holidays every other year: One of the most common parenting time agreements is having the children spend holidays every other year with each parent. For example, if the kids spend Thanksgiving with their mother this year, then the next year they would spend that holiday with their father. This ensures that not more than one year passes before a parent can spend a holiday with their child.

  • Split the holiday in half: Another popular parenting time agreement during the holidays is to split the day between both parents. This can be beneficial for parents who both want to spend time with their kids on one day, but it also requires proper planning to ensure each parent actually has adequate time with the children.

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Aurora parenting plan divorce attorneyWith kids getting out of school and the weather warming up, June marks the unofficial start to summer. For many people, this means more time for family bonding and vacations, but for families with divorced parents, it can be a stressful time of adjustment. Having a child and being divorced means there is typically a set schedule specifying when a child will be with which parent, but that same timetable during the school year will not necessarily work over summer break. In order to make your and your child’s summer as carefree as possible, here are a few tips for successful co-parenting during the summertime months:

  1. Plan Ahead and Communicate

The key to minimal conflict is to plan your summer in advance as much as possible and keep your ex-spouse in the loop. Try to talk with your ex beforehand and come up with a plan of how you would like to split parenting time during the summer. If you decide to play it by ear, be sure to let your co-parent know of any vacations that you plan on taking or any other activities in which your child will be participating.

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divorceAs summer comes to a close, children are returning back to school, some of which are excited to begin learning new things, while others are depressed that summer vacation is over. While some children are anxious to begin the new school year, some parents are as well. New school years can bring about issues for some divorced parents, such as purchasing school supplies, managing permission forms, communicating with teachers, and parent-teacher conferences. Back-to-school time can be daunting for divorced parents, which is why it can be beneficial to keep these tips in mind when dealing with issues that may arise throughout the school year:

Split the Cost of School Supplies

With the start of a new school year comes the need for new school supplies. With a long list of pencils, crayons, paper, folders and scissors that the teacher sends home, plus new school clothes, uniforms, shoes, a backpack and lunchbox, it is safe to say you will probably be spending a small fortune on these items. If you and your spouse do not have a prior arrangement worked out, it is a good idea to split the cost of these supplies, so one of you is not bearing the brunt of it.

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Illinois divorce attorney, Illinois family lawyer, Illinois child support lawyer,Divorcing with children is not uncommon--anywhere from 40 to 50 percent of divorcing couples have at least one child under the age of 18. Divorcing with children adds an extra layer of complexity to divorces--you have to think about who the child will live with, what the parenting arrangements will be, how you will share the cost of raising a child and more. Children all react to divorce differently and some can have a difficult time coping with the separation of their parents. Here are five ways you can help your child through your divorce:

Be Honest

There is no reason that you should try to hide your divorce from your children. They are very perceptive and can probably tell that something is wrong, even if you do not tell them. It is best for everyone if you tell your children that you are getting a divorce in a straightforward manner and in a way they can understand.

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relocation, Aurora family law attorneyFollowing a divorce, the involved parties may feel the need to change things up in order to move on and close a rather painful chapter in their lives. The parent who has primary residential responsibilities regarding a child may want to move to another state to pursue new opportunities in employment or even a new relationship. These kinds of life changes can shake up even the most amicable co-parenting situation as a non-moving parent is faced with the possibility of not seeing his or her child regularly, or having to incur the costs of going to visit the child in the new home.

While the non-moving parent may get longer periods of visitation time, such as during school breaks and other long holidays, he or she stands to lose vital, frequent interaction with the child. The child’s connections to other family members and friends may also suffer, and he or she will have to change schools after the move.

The Best Interests of the Child

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children, divorce, DuPage County family lawyerDivorce is stressful for everyone involved. Children, however, often have the most difficulty adjusting to all of the changes. A divorce can also affect a child for years after the final decree is entered. There are several things you can do as a parent can help your child cope with the divorce.

Listen to Their Problems and Worries

Children, just like adults, feel loved and cared for when they know you are listening to them. This is more than just hearing what they have to say. Listening requires you to both be active in showing you understand what they are worried about while also withholding any judgments or solutions until after the child is done sharing. In fact, resolving their concerns in the moment is less important than encouraging your children to express their feelings honestly.

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Illinois divorce lawyer, Illinois family law attorney, parental rights,Like other states, Illinois family courts will aim to create child custody agreements based on the child’s best interests. According to the Illinois General Assembly, the courts may consider the following factors:

  • Parents’ wishes;
  • Child's wishes;
  • How the child has adjusted at home, at school, and in the community;
  • The physical and mental health of the child, as well as the health of the parents or legal guardian;
  • The parents’ history of threats or violence toward the child, or a different member of the family or household;
  • Each parent’s desire to encourage and support the relationship of the child with the other parent;
  • The criminal history of the parents;
  • If either parent will be actively involved in military; and
  • Witness testimonies.

The court may require an investigation of any witnesses who intend to testify.

Awarding Joint Custody

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Illinios divorce attorney, Illinois family law attorney, parenting tips,In most divorce cases, neither spouse is entirely happy with the outcome. Property division, alimony, child support, and other factors involve a lot of “give and take,” and each spouse must make certain sacrifices to end a marriage. Still, there is a certain satisfaction that comes with receiving the child custody arrangement that you desire.

That said, there still await many challenges for new single parents — especially if they work fulltime or have other time-consuming obligations. Another obstacle is living on a single income.

Despite these challenges, it is still possible for single parents to raise children, spend plenty of time with them, and enjoy the pleasures of parenthood. Here are three tips that can help single parents adjust to the new lifestyle:

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Illinios divorce attorney, Illinois family law attorney, PAS, visitation rights, Divided families in Aurora are certainly not the only ones that have problems adjusting to divorce. In Turkey, hundreds of men have come forward, complaining about the unfair treatment they supposedly received in that country’s version of family courts. Most of their objections centered around high alimony payments and procedural barriers. Turkish families are in transition. The divorce rate has increased 38 percent in the last decade. Men, women, children and judges are all struggling to keep up. One of the issues many divorce parents struggle with worldwide is Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS).

Parental Alienation Syndrome

The Turkish dads also told horror stories about women who poisoned the relationships between father and children, or even refused to let dads see their kids. PAS is present in up to 15 percent of divorce cases, and both men and women are equally guilty. Psychologist Richard Gardner coined the term in the 1980s, and the New York native published a number of books and papers on the subject before his death in 2003. His findings were controversial then, and remain so to this day.

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co-parenting, co-parenting conflict, parallel parenting, child custody battle, divorce and communication, Aurora family law attorneySeveral articles have been written with advice on how to co-parent after a divorce. But what if an ex-spouse makes it completely impossible to work together to raise a child?

Anger and resentment play a big part in the reason why an individual is unable to put the needs of children first. Mediation or therapy may even fail to help bridge the gap. The angry parent could go as far as trying to convince other adults in the child’s life—such as teachers, coaches, and friends’ parents—that the ex is an 'awful' person. In ways, it can be a losing battle. But rather than try to continue to co-parent with someone who has no intention to work together, various experts recommend parallel parenting instead.

Parallel parenting is a way of co-parenting by dissociating with the other parent and having as little contact as possible. The benefits of parallel parenting allow the child to enjoy a relationship with both parents. However, the child does not have to deal with the conflict nor is he or she placed in the middle of the parents’ battles.

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The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C.

630-409-8184

1444 North Farnsworth Avenue, Suite 307, Aurora, IL 60505

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