The Differences Between Co-Parenting and Parallel Parenting

 Posted on September 20,2023 in Chicago divorce attorney

Parents going through a separation or divorce will need to develop a solid parenting plan. Assuming both parents can and want to remain in the children’s lives, co-parenting and parallel parenting are two approaches to effective parenting. Both of these approaches can be successful, but it is important to choose the one that is right for your family and your individual circumstances.

Co-Parenting

Co-parenting is a parenting approach where both parents remain actively involved in their children's lives after separation or divorce. Co-parents work together to make decisions about their children's upbringing, including education, healthcare, and extracurricular activities. They also make an effort to spend time with their children on a regular basis.

Benefits of co-parenting include:

• Children benefit from having a strong relationship with both parents

• Parents can share the responsibilities of parenting, which can reduce stress and fatigue

• Children can learn to resolve conflict peacefully by observing their parents doing the same

Drawbacks of co-parenting include:

• Co-parenting requires high levels of communication and cooperation between parents

• It can be difficult to co-parent if parents have high levels of conflict

• Children may feel caught in the middle of their parents' conflict, which can be harmful to their emotional well-being

Choosing to co-parent will require that both parents communicate openly and honestly with each other about their children's needs. They must be willing to compromise and work together to make decisions and put the needs of their children first. It is best to remain flexible and adaptable, as things may change over time.

Parallel Parenting

Parallel parenting is a parenting approach where parents disengage from each other and parent their children separately. This approach is often used when parents have high levels of conflict or are unable to communicate effectively with each other. Parallel parents typically have their own parenting plans and schedules, and they minimize contact with each other.

Benefits of parallel parenting:

• Parallel parenting can reduce conflict between parents 

• It can be a good option for parents who are unable to communicate effectively

• It can give children a sense of stability and predictability

Drawbacks to parallel parenting:

• Parallel parenting can limit children's contact with their other parent

• It can be difficult for parallel parents to stay informed about their children's lives

• Children may feel that their parents are not working together, which can be confusing and upsetting

Parents who have no choice but to be parallel parents will need to have a clear and detailed parenting plan in place. It might be best to keep in-person communication between parents to a minimum, opting instead to do so through written means only, such as email or text messages. Each parent should avoid contact with each other whenever possible, focus on their own relationship with the children, and not worry about what the other parent is doing.

Which Parenting Approach is Right for You?

When it comes to co-parenting vs. parallel parenting, the best approach for your family will depend on your individual circumstances and the needs of your children. If you and your ex-partner can communicate effectively and work together cooperatively, then co-parenting may be a good option for you. However, if you have high levels of conflict or are unable to communicate civilly, then parallel parenting may be a better choice.

Contact a Kendall County, IL Divorce and Family Law Attorney

Not sure which parenting plan is the best option for you and your family? An Oswego, IL parenting plan attorney like Mr. Williams can help. The The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C. has been aiding Illinois families for over a decade in resolving their legal matters while striving to minimize the stress and costs they bring. Pick up the phone and dial 630-409-8184 to go over your legal options today.