The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C.

630-409-8184

1444 North Farnsworth Avenue, Suite 307, Aurora, IL 60505

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Geneva divorce attorney narcissism

When you think of the word “narcissist,” you may think of someone who is completely obsessed with his or her looks, who is a know-it-all, and who believes they can do no wrong. While this definition is certainly not false, narcissism is an actual clinical mental illness, characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a sense of entitlement, and an unwillingness to display empathy for others. Divorcing a narcissist is an entirely different ballgame than divorcing a mentally stable person, because a narcissist will take every opportunity he or she can to make the process as difficult as possible. Having an experienced attorney on your side who is skilled in dealing with highly contentious divorces is essential to surviving your divorce. Here are a few other tips to help if you are divorcing a narcissistic spouse:

  1. Understand Your Spouse Is Not Going to Play Fair

You want to believe that your spouse would never do anything to hurt you or your children. Sadly, a narcissist who is going through a divorce will often do whatever he or she can to cause you pain and suffering. Your spouse will do all that is in his or her power to “win” and will aim to make your life as miserable as possible. He or she will try to wear you down on certain issues, so it is critical that you stay strong and do not back down on matters that are important to you. 

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DuPage County high-conflict divorce attorneyFor some couples, the idea of a peaceful divorce is laughable. Divorce can bring out the worst in people and can cause them to do things and act in ways that are unlike themselves. In some situations, divorce can exacerbate a person’s behavior and cause him or her to become even more combative and argumentative, typically at no surprise to the soon-to-be ex-spouse. Emotions can get out of control during a divorce, making the entire process more difficult and stressful than it needs to be for everyone involved. If you know that your spouse will be combative during your divorce, there are a few things you can do to survive your high-conflict divorce:

Distance Yourself From Your Spouse

High-conflict people thrive off of arguments and getting a rise out of others. The best thing to do when you realize that your spouse is going to be antagonistic, manipulative, or argumentative during your divorce is to try to create as much distance between the two of you as possible. You should do this by minimizing contact with him or her unless you absolutely need to discuss an important matter. If you must communicate with each other, remember that it is not worth your time or effort to argue.

Record Everything You Can

A high-conflict spouse will often try to use your own words against you or manipulate you. If you have to talk with your spouse, you should try to do so via text or email. Both of those options give you the ability to have a transcript of exactly what was said during the conversation. If you have proof of what the exchange entailed, your spouse cannot twist it to benefit him or herself or try to lie about you saying something that you did not say.

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Illinois divorce attorney, Illinois family lawyer, Illinois parenting time and responsibilities lawyer,You would not think so, but some divorces are amicable and calm, mostly because the divorce was not contested and both spouses were in agreement about issues pertaining to the divorce. Though that is the perfect idea of a divorce, we do not live in a perfect world and more often than not, there is some sort of fighting and disagreement during the divorce process. In severe cases, the divorcing couple cannot stand to be in the same room as each other, making for a very high-conflict divorce. If you are experiencing a high-conflict divorce, here are a few tips you can use to help you cope.

Create Boundaries

The first step in dealing with a high-conflict spouse and a high-conflict divorce is setting boundaries for the new relationship you will have. Whether these boundaries are with your co-parenting relationship, the communication between the two of you or any other issue, boundaries are essential. Create them and stick to them.

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The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C.

630-409-8184

1444 North Farnsworth Avenue, Suite 307, Aurora, IL 60505

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