The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C.

630-409-8184

1444 North Farnsworth Avenue, Suite 307, Aurora, IL 60505

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Whether you finally made the decision to leave your spouse, or you are in the middle of your divorce, you may find yourself immersed in a sea of emotions. Even divorces in which you and your spouse are on the same page can be stressful. All of the major life changes that divorce brings can also cause a lot of emotional, mental, and even physical distress. It is important to consider how you can best manage your stress both in the current moment and in the future. Below are a few practical ways to handle the rollercoaster of emotions during divorce:

Give Yourself Permission to Acknowledge Your Feelings

It is entirely normal to feel a range of emotions after you have made the decision to get a divorce. After all, you and your spouse did vow to spend the rest of your lives together at one point. It is important to understand that it is okay to feel sad, angry, depressed, bitter, scared, and even relieved or excited at some points. Allowing yourself to acknowledge and express these emotions is a step toward moving on with the next chapter of your life.

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divorceThough you never planned for it, a divorce can be one of the biggest events in your life. You are changing your entire life when you divorce, from where you live to which bank account you use. A divorce is very much a legal process, but it is also more than that - it is an emotional process that you must go through as well. Emotional coping is very important when you are going through a divorce and is essential to your mental health once you have completed the legal aspect of divorce. Here are some ways to help you cope with the wild emotions that divorce can bring:

Allow Yourself to Grieve

Though divorce is a legal process, it is just as much an emotional one. It is only natural to grieve the loss of your relationship when you are going through a divorce, and to prevent yourself from grieving will only prolong the process. Allowing yourself to go through the stages of grief is a healthy coping mechanism that will enable you to move on with your life.

Take Care of Yourself

It is important that you take care of yourself during this trying time. Practicing self-care is not only good for your physical wellbeing but also your emotional wellbeing - if you feel good physically, it will be easier for you to feel good mentally and emotionally and gives you something to focus on, rather than lingering on your pain. If you do not already have an exercise routine, start dedicating a little bit of time each week to work out. Make sure you are eating well and staying hydrated, as well as getting plenty of sleep each night.

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post traumatic stress IMAGEAlthough many divorces can produce emotional challenges for one or both spouses, those who have an abusive spouse or mentally ill spouse might face additional difficulties during and after a divorce. If you are contemplating getting a divorce and these situations apply to you, you will really want to invest time and energy in selecting the right Illinois family law attorney to handle your case. Attorneys with experience and understanding can really make a difference.

Whether mental illness was present throughout the relationship prior to marriage or whether the symptoms manifested during the marriage, many devoted spouses will attempt to make things work or to get the help they think their spouse might need. In many cases, this is very admirable. It’s difficult to sometimes see the impact that this can have on you. For example, women who have lived with spouses suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder or physical abuse might develop coping mechanisms for the duration of their marriage. When divorce occurs, they have to adjust to a new way of life, sometimes with the battle scars from their marriage.

Moving on after a difficult marriage can mean dealing with post traumatic stress disorder. "Post-traumatic stress disorder is a normal emotional and psychological reaction to trauma (a painful or shocking experience)", which can include a bad marriage, and/or a divorce.

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The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C.

630-409-8184

1444 North Farnsworth Avenue, Suite 307, Aurora, IL 60505

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