The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C.

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1444 North Farnsworth Avenue, Suite 307, Aurora, IL 60505

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When the new year rolls around and everybody is done celebrating, many people often find themselves making resolutions and quitting bad habits. While some people are committed to living a healthier lifestyle or spending less time on their phones, others are looking forward to a much bigger and more significant life change. According to many divorce lawyers and news outlets, January has been dubbed, “divorce month,” because of the increase in the number of divorce cases that are initiated at the beginning of the year. There are several reasons that have been pinpointed as being possible for the spike in the number of divorce cases that are filed during the first few months of the year. These reasons may include:

  • Spending one last holiday season as a family. For many couples, one of the biggest reasons they choose to stay together and wait until January to file for divorce is simply to preserve the magic of the holiday season. This is especially likely for couples who have children, as they will want to prevent any stress or disruptions from spoiling the holidays for the kids. 

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Illinois divorce attorney, Illinois family lawyer, Illinois parenting time lawyer, parenting time and repsonsibilities,Most people experience an influx of stress during the holiday season, but for divorced couples and their children, it can be even more stressful than usual. When you have kids, this time of year is filled with holiday parties, gift exchanges, school plays, recitals, concerts, and holiday celebrations. Divorced families feel the stress when they try to manage all of this out of two households. Traditionally, this time of year is very family-oriented and if you have recently gone through a divorce, or this is the first holiday season as a divorced couple, your kids might be feeling the loss of their family. Here are a few ways you can help your kids cope with the holiday season and enjoy the new family situation:

Remember: It Is Not About You

Even though you want to have a good time during the holiday season too, sometimes sacrifices have to be made. One of the most important sacrifices that you could make for your children is putting your own happiness aside so that they can be happy. If you and your spouse are fighting about who gets the children on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, give in this year and let them have the kids. Next year, you will get your turn and your children will not have to feel the stress of multiple houses on multiple days.

Plan Well in Advance

The key to making sure you have a happy and successful holiday season is planning. This can prove to be difficult because, in order to have things planned out, the communication between you and your ex must be decent. Your children may have multiple things going on during the holiday season that they would like both of their parents to attend, such as plays, concerts and holiday parties. If it is impossible for both of you to be in the same room together, pick and choose which events you will attend.

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Holiday Child Visitation and Stress after a Divorce, family law, child custody, law office, divorce, holiday visitationEvery year the holidays arrive, bringing with them joy, togetherness, and stress. The stress of the holidays is felt more by some than others, but for divorced couples and their children, holiday stress may rise to new levels. The question of where the children will spend the holidays is often the source of much anxiety.

Holiday Scheduling Strategies

Sometimes during the course of divorce proceedings, parents may wish to include an annual holiday visitation schedule as part of a custody plan. However, sometimes scheduling visitation for the holidays is left to the parents. Here are few ideas that may help.

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Valentine's Day Divorce IMAGE“Roses are red, violets are blue… I made a mistake in marrying you!” The Huffington Post reports that despite the fact that February is usually hailed as the most romantic month, a time for lovers to present roses and cards and sweet nothings, there are more divorces in February than any other month. “Perhaps this is because seeing other couples express their Valentines’ affection serves as a wake up call that our hearts are no longer in it,” the Huffington Post suggests. It could also be the cold weather and the withdraw of holiday warmth” that leaves us frigid in January and ready to act by the following month.

With more than half of all marriages in America ending in divorce, it seems a common and easy occurrence. Yet according to the Huffington Post, “if you think buying flowers and chocolates is expensive, try getting divorced. The process gets longer and more expensive every year.” Because of this, the importance of having a family law attorney on your side cannot be overstated. Hiring the right attorney can help you to mitigate costs and unnecessary delays. Having an attorney who works for you can save you heartache, time, and cold hard cash.

Avvo.com, according to CNN Money, reports seeing a 40 percent increase in the number of people “seeking information and advice about divorce in the period right after Valentine’s Day.” CNN Money also reports that the number of divorce filings during February is 18 percent higher than in the average month. But “February has factors other than the holiday that could lead to an increase in divorces`,” reports CNN Money, among them the fact that January is the busiest month for bankruptcies. Couples could realize the financial problems that divide them, for example.

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The holidays can be an especially difficult time of the year for divorced children and their parents. According to CNN, the United States Census Bureau estimates that nearly four million parents are faced with the challenge of helping their children through the holidays after a divorce. If you have recently filed or are considering filing for divorce, we have assembled a simple guide for helping your children adjust to the change.

 holidays after divorceMix Old and New Traditions

Routine and ritual are very important to children. If you have recently divorced, do not be too tempted to throw out all of your old traditions in favor of new ones now that you and your partner have separated. Instead, keep a few of the old favorites, and attempt to work in one or two new traditions as well, particularly when some of the old ones are no longer possible.

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Divorce is, by definition, a messy process. At worst, you have another human being with close to equal rights to your shared property and your children, one with whom you do not agree and do not get along. But even at best, you have a stressful legal situation, with many unanswered questions and much red tape. Now that the holidays are coming up, how can you focus on Thanksgiving turkey, gift wrap, and alimony all at the same time, and still enjoy the season?

holiday divorce imageThe Huffington Post has some excellent advice for those seeking a divorce over the holidays. If you or anyone you know is contemplating divorce, contact an experienced divorce attorney, then read this.

Being Right with You

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It’s November, which means the holidays are just around the corner. Celebrating the holidays post-divorce can be one of the scariest challenges you’ll have to surmount in your new single life. Nostalgia surrounding the holidays, an influx of family visitors, the excitement of children—all these aspects of the “happiest time of the year” can make it one of the most unhappy times of the year for the newly-divorced or those beginning divorce proceedings. In addition to helping you wade through the complicated legalese surrounding your divorce, an experienced family law attorney can help you sort through more personal aspects of divorce as well—such as what to do with the kids during the holidays. A legal professional on your side ensures that you’ll always have a third-party person with whom you can bounce ideas and emotions off of—an invaluable resource during a divorce. safe and happy

If you do have children, determining how to spend your holidays after divorce can be especially daunting. “Ideally,” according to the Huffington Post, “you would both be cool enough to split holidays evenly or even (gasp!) share them together.” This, of course, is highly optimistic in most marital splits. Instead of insisting that the holiday happens only on the day when the calendar deems it so, the Huffington Post suggests, instead, “any day can be a holiday. All you have to do is make it so.”

There’s something to be said for celebrating a holiday when the rest of the country is celebrating. But holidays are really all about family togetherness, ritual, and tradition. “What if you did all these things exactly the same except you did it on Sunday November 24?” the Huffington Post asks. “It’s just family getting together for a crazy meal, watching football, and giving thanks! You can take pictures too!”

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The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C.

630-409-8184

1444 North Farnsworth Avenue, Suite 307, Aurora, IL 60505

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