The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C.

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1444 North Farnsworth Avenue, Suite 307, Aurora, IL 60505

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Posted on in Divorce

Aurora divorce lawyer, avoid divorce, divorce and communication, marriage and communication, marriage counselingMarriage is not something that runs on autopilot. All couples, regardless if they are married for a few months or several years, will inevitably experience some trying times.

Whether through communication, counseling, or some other means, it is often possible to resolve conflicts, repair the relationship, and continue living a happy life together. Disagreements and fights do not need to result in divorce.

Head Off the Possibility of Divorce Before Getting Married

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child custody, child support, divorce and children, divorce and communication, DuPage County, DuPage County divorce lawyer, Illinois family law attorney, Illinois family lawyer, parental rightsWith nearly 50 percent of American marriages ending in divorce each year, divorce is a common part of the American experience. Regardless, it can be devastating for the family of the divorcing couple—especially if the couple in question has children. This can oftentimes be true not only for the couple’s immediate family, but for the extended family as well. Grandparents on the child’s non-custodial side of the family may have to fight to see the children harder than the parent, and other extended family can sometimes be left out in the cold. Still, divorce is, of course, the most difficult for the children who are faced with their parents’ split.

According to the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP), parents continue to be the most important presence in their children’s lives during and after divorce. Parents may be relieved after a divorce (especially if the marriage was particularly sour), but children “are invariably frightened and confused by the threat to their security,” reports the AACAP. In some cases, a parent may even seek solace from his or her children, which can exacerbate feelings of insecurity and emotional instability. If the parents were on exceptionally bad terms leading up to the divorce and argued often, the child may even feel as if it was his or her fault.

If you are getting divorced and have shared children, there are several steps you can take to help your child through the transition. KidsHealth.org suggests that parents keep visible conflict and arguments hidden from the kids, and notes this to be the most important factor to consider. Also, it is recommended that parents minimize disruptions to daily routines. It will likely be much more work for the parent to minimize disruptions from a child’s routine, and special considerations for how to do so will have to be made.

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co-parenting, co-parenting conflict, parallel parenting, child custody battle, divorce and communication, Aurora family law attorneySeveral articles have been written with advice on how to co-parent after a divorce. But what if an ex-spouse makes it completely impossible to work together to raise a child?

Anger and resentment play a big part in the reason why an individual is unable to put the needs of children first. Mediation or therapy may even fail to help bridge the gap. The angry parent could go as far as trying to convince other adults in the child’s life—such as teachers, coaches, and friends’ parents—that the ex is an 'awful' person. In ways, it can be a losing battle. But rather than try to continue to co-parent with someone who has no intention to work together, various experts recommend parallel parenting instead.

Parallel parenting is a way of co-parenting by dissociating with the other parent and having as little contact as possible. The benefits of parallel parenting allow the child to enjoy a relationship with both parents. However, the child does not have to deal with the conflict nor is he or she placed in the middle of the parents’ battles.

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Aurora family law attorney, children, children of divorce, divorce hostility, Chicago divorce attorney, divorce and communication, help broken families, quarreling spouseDivorce is prevalent in today’s world and causes children to grow up where the issue is commonplace and a major part of daily life. However, despite what may be going on behind closed doors, divorced spouses must remember to place their children ahead of all else.

The situations surrounding divorce can bring up hostility, including financial or personal hostility. And often quarreling spouses cannot cohabitate or even communicate without argument. This can cause several future problems, especially when children are caught in the middle. The following suggestions offer insight as to what should be avoided during divorce to help minimize the impact on children.

  • Avoid confiding in your children. Confiding in children is a huge mistake frequently made by divorced or divorcing couples. Adults may default to their children once a spouse, who is often a primary confidant, is out of the picture. However, this places more pressure on the children and can make them feel more isolated;

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Aurora family law attorney, child custody, children, children of divorce, Illinois divorce, children and divorce, divorced parents, divorce and communicationDivorce, by nature, lends itself to being an unpleasant experience for all parties. Between splitting financial assets, dividing debt, and even relocation, getting a divorce in Illinois can prove to be taxing. It is important to remember that this major life change can mean broad implications for loved ones as well--most importantly any children involved.

A child’s response to the divorce process directly correlates with their developmental stage. Generally, younger children display an increased attachment to authority figures and especially guardians. And watching parents separate can impact a child in several ways, including:

  • Amplification of dependency on others;

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The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C.

630-409-8184

1444 North Farnsworth Avenue, Suite 307, Aurora, IL 60505

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