The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C.

630-409-8184

1444 North Farnsworth Avenue, Suite 307, Aurora, IL 60505

Yorkville Office By Appointment

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North Aurora parenting plan attorney

One of the biggest concerns that people have about divorce is how it affects the children who are stuck in the middle of these situations. Multiple studies have been conducted on the effect of divorce on kids throughout their lives and while research is always ongoing, these studies have shown that the divorce itself is not what affects children -- it is the conflict to which they are exposed. Some children who have divorced parents grow up to be successful and well-adjusted adults, while some have more trouble. The children who grew up to be successful tended to be from families in which the divorce was fairly peaceful, while the ones who experienced issues were usually from families that had a lot of conflict and stress because of the divorce. When you have children, you do not get to simply forget about your child’s other parent and never see him or her again. The reality is, you must be willing to compromise and communicate with your child’s other parent for child-rearing. Unfortunately, some couples simply cannot seem to make co-parenting work. The good news is that there are alternatives to co-parenting, with the most popular option being parallel parenting.

What Is Parallel Parenting?

In many ways, parallel parenting is much like co-parenting. In both instances, you and your ex still both have parenting time with your children. However, in a parallel parenting situation, you and your ex are much more disengaged from one another, unlike in a co-parenting relationship. It helps to think of its namesake -- parallel lines. They always run in the same direction but angled in such a way that they never collide. For example, in a parallel parenting agreement, the parents may communicate or even see each other only to make a decision about the children’s medical care or schooling, but then make day-to-day decisions on their own while the kids are in their care.

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Yorkville parenting plan attorney

Even when a divorce is friendly and parents are amicable with one another, co-parenting is not easy work. Co-parenting takes a lot of effort, communication, and a willingness to work together to be successful. In an ideal situation, both parents would be willing to put their own feelings and hurt aside to come together as a parental unit for their children. Unfortunately, this does not always happen. Sometimes, a parent can get so caught up in their own emotions and personal vendettas that they lose sight of what is best for their children. The following advice can help you and your ex-spouse work together for the sake of your kids.

Making Co-Parenting Easier

Cooperative co-parenting is what every parent aims for after divorce from their children’s other parent. While it may seem difficult, effective co-parenting is not impossible. It simply takes a little bit of time and effort to make it work. If you are at odds with how to cope with an uncooperative co-parent, here are a few tips that can make things a little easier:

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North Aurora parenting time attorney

When you created your parenting plan during your divorce, it contained a lot of information. It included what you and your spouse’s parenting time schedules looked like, who your child would spend vacations and school holidays with, and how you and your spouse would settle child-related disputes. What your parenting plan likely did not contain was a game plan for co-parenting during a health crisis, such as the one the world is experiencing with COVID-19. Unprecedented situations may warrant a change in everyone’s routine, so it is important to be flexible and willing to compromise with your ex-spouse while considering your child’s best interests.  

Working Together for Your Child’s Well-Being 

The worldwide coronavirus pandemic has changed the way we go about our daily lives for weeks and in some places, even months. Co-parenting is not an easy task, and it can become even more difficult during a crisis because of the stress and uncertainty that family members are experiencing. Even so, here are a few things you should keep in mind while you navigate co-parenting during this challenging time:

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co-parenting, co-parenting conflict, parallel parenting, child custody battle, divorce and communication, Aurora family law attorneySeveral articles have been written with advice on how to co-parent after a divorce. But what if an ex-spouse makes it completely impossible to work together to raise a child?

Anger and resentment play a big part in the reason why an individual is unable to put the needs of children first. Mediation or therapy may even fail to help bridge the gap. The angry parent could go as far as trying to convince other adults in the child’s life—such as teachers, coaches, and friends’ parents—that the ex is an 'awful' person. In ways, it can be a losing battle. But rather than try to continue to co-parent with someone who has no intention to work together, various experts recommend parallel parenting instead.

Parallel parenting is a way of co-parenting by dissociating with the other parent and having as little contact as possible. The benefits of parallel parenting allow the child to enjoy a relationship with both parents. However, the child does not have to deal with the conflict nor is he or she placed in the middle of the parents’ battles.

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The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C.

630-409-8184

1444 North Farnsworth Avenue, Suite 307, Aurora, IL 60505

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