Posted on December 00,0000 in Divorce

You can never be 100 percent certain that a marriage will end in divorce. There are so many mitigating factors that contribute to a divorce but a divorce does not happen overnight. It can take years or even decades for a marriage to degrade down and finally break, resulting in a divorce. There are certain behaviors that couples do that can be warning signs a divorce is in the future, but not all couples are created equally. What can mean trouble for one couple is perfectly normal for another. Here are a few things that could mean your marriage is on the rocks:

You and Your Spouse Are Constantly Criticizing One Another

Though it is something that we all do to everyone, criticizing your spouse should be done with care. When you criticize your spouse, you tend to criticize their personality or character, making your spouse feel like there is something inherently wrong with him or her. When you do this, you elicit a defensive response from your spouse, leaving you both unhappy.

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 Posted on December 00,0000 in Life After Divorce

We all know how most New Year’s resolutions work -- you come up with grandiose ideas about how you will change and be different, you follow them for about a month and then you go back to your same old routines. While keeping resolutions can be difficult, there is no better time to take a look at your life and do a little introspection and self-reflection than the beginning of a new year, especially if you are recently divorced or you are looking to begin the divorce process. Divorces can be messy and difficult, but keep these few New Year’s resolutions in mind and you could come out of your divorce on top. Let Go of Your Anger and Make a Point to Be Happy A divorce can cause you to feel many emotions, including anger, fury, contempt, and hate. It can be one of the hardest things to do, but once you let go of your anger, you will find that you will be much more relaxed and that it will be easier for you to be happy. Instead of taking your anger out on your ex, release your anger and forgive your ex for anything they might have done. It will be in your family’s best interest for you to move on. Focus on Improving Communication with Your Ex You have probably heard it many times before, but communication is key, especially when it comes to co-parenting. Being a single parent is tough, but being a single parent who has to coordinate with an ex who they do not get along with is even tougher. Your kids (and you) will have an easier time with custody transitions if you and your ex can communicate effectively. Make a Point to Spend Quality Time with Your Children Though you may have your kids a majority of the time or even the same amount of time as your ex, it is easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Making time for your children is extremely important after a divorce because now every moment you spend with them is more precious than ever. Focus on your children and make sure that they feel loved and accepted -- more than they ever have before. Hire an Aurora, IL Divorce Attorney to Help You Through Your Divorce

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 Posted on December 00,0000 in Divorce Finances

Everyone knows that divorces are expensive, but they cost a whole lot more than just money -- they also cost you precious time, energy and emotional stress. Money is one of the biggest stressors in both marriage and divorce, which is why divorces can be so tense and combative. There are many complicated decisions you must make during a divorce and a good amount of them revolve around your finances. The decisions that you make about your finances when you get divorced are decisions that will affect you for a good portion of your life. Try to avoid making these four common financial mistakes during your divorce:

Not Having All of You and Your Spouse’s Financial Documents on Hand

Preparation is key when it comes to divorce. You will want to make sure that you have all of you and your spouse’s financial documents before you begin to negotiate who gets what. Make sure you have bank statements, credit card statements, mortgage and loan information and any other relevant financial documents on hand. If you think that your spouse is hiding assets from you, let your lawyer know. They will be able to help you uncover any hidden assets.

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 Posted on December 00,0000 in Paternity

In the state of Illinois, a man is only legally presumed to be the father of a child if the mother was married or in a civil union with him when the child was born or within 300 days before the child was born. If the mother was not married when the child was born, the man she names as the father of the child is then referred to as the alleged father. That man will only become the legal father after one of three things happens:

• Both parents complete and sign a Voluntary Acknowledgement of Paternity form when or soon after the child is born;
• An administrative paternity order is entered into by a child support agency; or
• An order of paternity has been entered in court by a judge.

If the father contests the paternity of the child, the mother will then have to file a paternity suit that seeks to establish a parent-child relationship between the father and the child. Once you enter into a paternity suit, the judge will more-than-likely order the mother, the alleged father and the child to submit to genetic testing.

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 Posted on December 00,0000 in Child Custody

In the United States, the traditional family unit has been changing more and more with each passing year. Families only comprised of a married mother and father and their biological children are now not the only “acceptable” form of a family. With the legalization of gay marriage in the U.S. in 2015, more families are composed of same-sex couples with adopted children. With divorce becoming more common and more socially acceptable, blended families have also become more common. Sometimes, to complete a blended family, step-parents may want to adopt their spouse’s children. This is called stepparent adoption and it is the most common form of adoption in the U.S.

Special Considerations

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 Posted on December 00,0000 in Divorce

Divorce is already stressful enough for the entire family. When you are dealing with a spouse who has it out for you, it can become even more difficult and it can make dealing with even the smallest issues a lengthy process. Adding children into the mix makes everything even more difficult, especially when your spouse insists on settling things in the courtroom when they could just as easily be settled outside of the courtroom. Dealing with a toxic spouse is emotionally draining, so here are a few tricks you can use to cope with your spouse during your divorce:

Make Sure You Document Everything

When it comes to toxic spouses, they will often bend the truth, change what they said previously or lie altogether. Do not allow your spouse to make you rethink events that happened in the past. You should not have to question your own memories, so making sure you document everything is key. If you communicate about something important, make sure you either record the conversation or get it in writing, that way you have hard evidence of the conversation that actually took place.

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 Posted on December 00,0000 in Child Custody

In divorce cases that are less-than-amicable, things can get heated and they usually get heated quickly. While most divorce cases involve children, those cases can often be the most stressful to deal with. Each parent truly wants what is best for their child, but because of the situation, thoughts on what is best for the child may become skewed or muddied with all of the other feelings that the parent may be feeling toward their spouse. In situations like these, the judge or either of the parents is allowed to request a guardian ad litem (GAL) to be a part of any child-related decisions.

What Is a Guardian ad Litem?

In Latin, guardian ad litem literally translates to “guardian for the lawsuit.” In modern-day divorce cases, a guardian ad litem is typically assigned to cases when they are ordered by the judge, but either spouse of the divorce can request a guardian ad litem for their child. The guardian ad litem is a guardian appointed to your specific case and is tasked with the role of protecting the interests of the child.

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 Posted on December 00,0000 in Collaborative Law

It is no secret that divorce is difficult. What some people do not know is that there is more than one way you can get a divorce. From DIY divorces to mediated divorces, there is a process that fits almost everyone’s situation. One type of divorce -- a collaborative divorce -- can be beneficial to the entire family. A collaborative divorce is one in which both spouses sign an agreement stating that neither of them will go to court and will instead determine solutions to their problems through meetings with attorneys, financial advisers, child specialists, and other professionals. There are many reasons to choose a collaborative divorce over a traditional litigated divorce, but here are just a few:

1. You can actually end up saving money with a collaborative divorce. Traditional litigated divorces can end up costing you four times as much as a collaborative divorce would cost. While you do end up hiring more people to help you complete your divorce, the trained specialists actually help you complete your divorce quicker and with less arguing. Plus, you are saving on countless hours of lawyers fees and court costs.

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 Posted on December 00,0000 in Children of divorce

Although a divorce may be exactly what you wanted, your children may not think that a divorce is a good thing. Divorce can be extremely tough on families -- especially on kids. Changes in the home, daily routines and living situations can be a big stressor to children, who very much thrive off of routine. All children react to divorce and cope with the stress of divorce differently. While some children may act out by misbehaving in school, other children may act out by reverting to habits of younger children. Divorce is difficult for everyone, but here are a few ways you can help your children cope with the inevitable stress of divorce:

Be Honest with Your Children

Especially when telling your children about the divorce, you should strive to be as honest as is appropriate. Your children deserve to know why you are getting a divorce, but you should adjust the level of detail to suit the age of your child. Younger children need simple, concise answers, while teenagers may need more detail.

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 Posted on December 00,0000 in Divorce and Holidays

Most people have a love or hate relationship with Valentine’s Day. Some people cherish the thought of pink and red hearts, chocolates and flowers. Other people loathe the insincerity of giving presents on a random day to declare your love. For those who are going through a divorce or have recently finalized their divorce, Valentine’s Day can be a giant reminder that you no longer have a significant other. While this can be depressing to some people, you should not let it get you down. Here are five ways you can survive your first Valentine’s Day as a single (or almost single) person:

Do Not Spend the Day Alone

It will help no one if you stay at home and wallow in your sadness all day. Call your friends, spend time with family, volunteer at a homeless shelter or nursing home -- the idea is to surround yourself with people on Valentine’s Day so you do not feel so alone.

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