Marriages end for all sorts of reasons, some financial, others behavior-based, and still others because of incompatible personalities. While divorce can provide a doorway to happier life, it is understandable that you may not want to put yourself at a disadvantage during the process itself. Whether the problem is genuine or just perceived does not really matter; if you feel a certain way, the impact on you is real enough. Many who are considering divorce often wonder if filing first makes any difference in the proceedings compared to waiting for their spouse to file. The answer to that question is fairly complex and depends on your specific circumstances.

No Legal Advantages

When you consider other areas of the law, such as criminal defense or personal injury, it is usually up to the filing party—the prosecutor or injured person—to prove his or her allegations. Of course, the burden of proof differs by the area of law, and may be shifted to the other party as the case proceeds, but, in general, the party who files has more responsibility and control over the suit. Divorce is unique in that there are no presumed roles or advantages for either party regardless of who files the petition for dissolution. You will each have the opportunity to make requests, file motions, prove your claims, dispute those of the other party, and otherwise be heard as equals throughout the proceedings.

Once you have made the decision to end your marriage, there is no point in delaying or dragging out the proceedings. Divorce is rarely easy, but the legal process itself does not need to take countless months as you and your spouse place your lives on hold. In many cases, you may be able to obtain a finalized divorce judgment in a little as just a few weeks, but doing so requires a bit of effort on your part and cooperation from your spouse.

1. A Plan of Attack

The easiest way to eliminate delays in divorce is to negotiate as much of your settlement as you possibly can. You and your spouse may not agree on everything, so start with the simplest topics. For example, if you have little concern about certain pieces of property, agree on those and then build on the cooperative momentum. Eventually, you will get to more difficult subjects, but, by that point, you will have likely established a level of commitment to completing the process amicably.

The process of divorce is going to be challenging no matter how well you and the other party get along. There are simply too many variables to expect everything to be resolved easily and without some measure of disagreement. Even if the two of you agree on most matters of substance, personal feeling of anger, grief, or betrayal over the end of your relationship can complicate the proceedings. Along the way, you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse will need to keep lines of communication open between you, especially if you have children together. It is absolutely critical for you to be aware of what you are saying and how it may be received so that you can avoid creating additional problems down the road.

Decide on a Method of Communication

The first thing you can do to prevent misunderstandings is to reach an agreement regarding the types of communication you and your spouse should use throughout the divorce process. If your relationship is such that speaking directly to one another in person or over the phone is acceptable, do so very carefully. Keep notes about your conversations, so that the words you choose cannot be misconstrued or misinterpreted. For many divorcing couples, a written form of communication works better, including email or text messages. Emails and text messages generally allow you the ability to consider your words more carefully, helping to ensure that what you send is exactly what you mean.

As the age at which Americans enter their first marriages continues to rise, each partner is likely to bring more personal history and property to the marriage than those of previous generations. Individuals spend more time as single adults than ever before, often starting careers, buying homes, and investing in various business interests. For many entering marriage for the first time, a prenuptial agreement may be appropriate to help establish what belongs to whom in the event the marriage does not succeed. For those entering a subsequent marriage, however, a prenuptial agreement may be virtually necessary to account for even more complex personal situations.

Second and Third Marriages

If you are considering remarriage, one of two things have already happened: you have been widowed by the death of a spouse or you have been through the process of divorce. Therefore, you probably have a pretty good understanding of many of the complexities that can present themselves. A prenuptial agreement, as you probably realize, can help remove a great deal of uncertainty through cooperation while the spirit of togetherness is alive and well between you and your soon-to-be spouse. Drafting a prenuptial agreement is not betting against your marriage any more than a life insurance policy equals betting against your life. At some point, your marriage will end, either by divorce or death, and a prenuptial can address both realities.

It is no secret that divorce is a common practice among Americans. Some studies estimate that one in two married couples in the United States divorce. However, recent reports indicate that some states have higher divorce rates than others.

Recent Study Shows Divorce Rate Low in Illinois

Based on 2013 data from the American Community Survey, the divorce rate in Illinois sits just below 10 percent. This complements other data suggesting that national divorce rates have been declining for the past 30 years.