Posted on December 00,0000 in Child Custody

Thanksgiving is the holiday that marks the time of year when fall is officially over and winter is beginning. For many families, Thanksgiving is the time of year when you gather around the table with your friends and family members and you share a delicious feast that you have cooked yourselves. It is a time to show your appreciation and remember everything you are thankful for, but for many families, Thanksgiving can be a stressful time of year. When you are divorced, many things in your life change, including how you celebrate holidays. If you have children, holidays can be especially difficult to figure out how you will celebrate. Though Thanksgiving can be wrought with stress and sometimes disappointment, here are four tips that may just help you survive this season:

Remember What the Holiday Is Truly About

Thanksgiving is a time for family. With that being said, it is not so much your happiness that is most important, it is your children’s. While the holidays can be stressful for you, it can be even more stressful for your children, because they want to spend it with both of their parents. Even if it is not in the cards for you to spend time with your children on Thanksgiving, do not make your children feel bad for spending time with your ex.

Continue Reading ››

 Posted on December 00,0000 in Divorce

No matter the situation, getting a divorce is a big life change. Even if you were only married for a couple of years, getting divorced changes almost everything about your life. Though you may feel that you are ready for a divorce (and you probably are) you may not exactly be prepared for what is to come. There are certain things that you do not expect to experience when you get divorced and there are things that may not have even crossed your mind before. Everyone has different circumstances when it comes to divorce and everyone will experience the divorce differently, but there are a few things you should know about life after divorce. Even if you are the one who initiated the divorce, you will probably still feel a sense of loss. Even though divorce is the legal process of separating yourself from your spouse, it is also very much an emotional process. Many people underestimate just how much of a transition a divorce really is. You are changing everything from your living situation to your financial situation - it is understandable for you to feel things like loss, sadness, grief, and disappointment. These are all emotions many people experience in their life after divorce. If you have children, you do not get to ignore your ex. Just because you are getting divorced does not mean that you get to part ways and never see your ex again, especially if you have children. You and your spouse will forever be linked by your children and that is something you must come to terms with. Even when your children are grown adults and no longer are under you or your spouse’s care, you will still have that link. Divorce might affect your children in ways that are apparent through their behaviors. There is no one way that divorce will affect your children. Just like adults, all children are different and all children will have different reactions to a divorce. Your kids will not always tell you that the divorce is bothering them or that they have certain feelings about the stress a divorce can bring. Sometimes, your children’s behaviors will be the telltale signs that the stress is getting to them.

Continue Reading ››

 Posted on December 00,0000 in Gray Divorce

A “gray divorce” is a fairly new term that people have been using when referring to those who get divorced in late adulthood. A divorce is considered a gray divorce when the couple who is getting divorced is over the age of 50. According to the Pew Research Center, the divorce rate for Americans over the age of 50 has doubled since 1990 and for Americans over the age of 65, the divorce rate has tripled. Older Americans have seen an increase in divorce rates while younger Americans between the ages of 25 and 39 have actually seen a decrease in the divorce rate, by about 20 percent. Typically, couples getting a gray divorce have been married for decades, which is why they face a lot of negative stigmas and backlash from those surrounding them. They also face unique circumstances when it comes to divorce, which is why specific considerations should be made. You Will Probably Be Entitled to Spousal Support

Continue Reading ››

 Posted on December 00,0000 in Life After Divorce

No matter the length of the marriage and no matter the circumstances of the split, a divorce is always a difficult life event to get through. Even the most steadfast and strong person can experience the challenges that a divorce brings. Because of the all-encompassing nature of divorce, it can feel like your entire life is falling apart, especially right after your divorce is finalized. While you are most likely experiencing major changes after your divorce, it is important to realize that these changes are only temporarily distressing and with time, you will become happier and healthier. Here are a few tips as to how you can move on after your divorce:

Learn to Let Go of Your Negative Emotions

Though it will be difficult, you cannot health without first learning to let go of all of the negativity and stress that you have built up throughout your marriage and divorce. You may be experiencing feelings of anger, sadness, hopelessness or despair, but they will do nothing but damage for you. You must learn to look past those emotions and understand that they do go away with time.

Continue Reading ››

 Posted on December 00,0000 in Spousal Support

When you are going through a divorce as a stay-at-home parent, you often have different things to worry about than if you were a working parent. Most of the time, stay-at-home parents sacrificed their careers or education to stay home and take care of the children. This can be problematic for them because stay-at-home parents typically rely on the income of their spouse to support the family. When you get a divorce, you find yourself being put into a situation where you must re-enter the workforce with little or outdated education and large gaps in your employment history. In these situations, spousal maintenance is used as a tool to keep you on your feet. Here are five steps you should take when you are a stay-at-home parent who is getting a divorce.

Gather All of Your Financial Documents

First things first -- you need to have all paperwork on your finances ready to present to a divorce lawyer. These documents can include:

Continue Reading ››

 Posted on December 00,0000 in Child Custody

Divorce is hard - that is no secret. But divorce is even harder during the holiday season. The holidays are all about spending quality time with your family, but when your family is split up, you have to find other ways to celebrate and make the season special. When you are divorced with children, you typically have a parenting plan that outlines where your child will be during certain times of the year and which holidays the child will spend with which parent. One of the hard truths that you must come to realize is that you will not always spend every single holiday with your children. While it can be difficult, it is something you must get used to. Here are a few tips you can follow to survive the holidays without your children

Do What You Want to Do

One of the best things you can do during the holiday season without your kids is whatever you want to do. If that means that you want to stay home, decorate your house for the holidays and host a big holiday party, then do it. Maybe you might want to take that warm beach vacation for the holidays but never wanted to make your children sacrifice holiday traditions. A year without your children during the holidays is a perfect time to do whatever your heart desires.

Continue Reading ››

 Posted on December 00,0000 in Prenuptial Agreement

Planning a wedding requires a great deal of organization and patience. You probably have a checklist of items that you need to get done before the big day, which may or may not include finalizing your prenuptial agreement. If you and your fiance have chosen to create and sign a prenuptial agreement, you will soon figure out that it comes with its own checklist of things to consider, which can become overwhelming when you are trying to plan a wedding. Having a solid prenuptial agreement that has examined all of the necessary factors is important to the successful implementation of the agreement in the event that you do get divorced.

Premarital Assets and Debts

Things that you bring into the marriage - whether they are assets or debts - are considered premarital assets and debts and are typically not subject to division during a divorce. In order to safeguard that property, putting it into the prenuptial agreement is a good idea. You can also stipulate what happens to the property if it is used to purchase other things during the marriage.

Continue Reading ››

 Posted on December 00,0000 in Divorce

Unsurprisingly, for many people, divorce is very difficult. Not only are you ending your legal relationship with your spouse, but you are also ending a very deep romantic relationship. Many people having feelings of anger, despair, hopelessness or even depression after a divorce. One of the most important and healthiest things you can do after you have gotten a divorce is set your sights on all of the positive aspects of getting a divorce -- and yes, there are positives to this situation. Here are four things you can look forward to after a divorce:

You Have Free Time -- And It Is Yours

After a divorce, you will be single again -- and that means that you will have the schedule of a single person again. You can do whatever you want, whenever you want and you do not have to worry about upsetting or ignoring another person. You can start making time for activities that you like to do, without having to worry about the wants of another person.

Continue Reading ››

 Posted on December 00,0000 in Division of Property

When you are married for a long period of time -- even if it is just for a few years -- you are bound to have many shared assets that you have accumulated over time. Dividing your assets during a divorce can be messy and complicated, especially if both of you want the same things. Illinois courts prefer for couples to try to divide up their assets on their own before the responsibility goes to a judge, but sometimes a judge is very much needed to settle disputes. When they say everything must be split up, they mean everything -- even unusual assets that you may not think about much.

Marital vs. Non-Marital Property

Before you can divide anything in your marriage, you must first determine what property must be divided. In Illinois, only marital property is subject to division. Non-marital property remains with the spouse whose property it is. Marital property is any property, including debts and other types of obligations, that either spouse acquires during the marriage. The exception to that rule is non-marital property, which includes:

Continue Reading ››

 Posted on December 00,0000 in Child Custody

Most people experience an influx of stress during the holiday season, but for divorced couples and their children, it can be even more stressful than usual. When you have kids, this time of year is filled with holiday parties, gift exchanges, school plays, recitals, concerts, and holiday celebrations. Divorced families feel the stress when they try to manage all of this out of two households. Traditionally, this time of year is very family-oriented and if you have recently gone through a divorce, or this is the first holiday season as a divorced couple, your kids might be feeling the loss of their family. Here are a few ways you can help your kids cope with the holiday season and enjoy the new family situation:

Remember: It Is Not About You

Even though you want to have a good time during the holiday season too, sometimes sacrifices have to be made. One of the most important sacrifices that you could make for your children is putting your own happiness aside so that they can be happy. If you and your spouse are fighting about who gets the children on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, give in this year and let them have the kids. Next year, you will get your turn and your children will not have to feel the stress of multiple houses on multiple days.

Continue Reading ››