Going through a divorce is undoubtedly difficult, but being civil with your soon-to-be ex-spouse during the process can benefit everyone involved. Here are some tips for keeping things as amicable as possible when divorcing in Illinois:

Communication Tips

Friendly separation can be fostered by having open and respectful communication. Always speak politely in exchanges with your ex, even when emotions run high. Listen actively to their perspective and try to understand their feelings before reacting. Be willing to compromise when possible to resolve disagreements. Keep conversations focused on divorce matters rather than rehashing old grievances from the marriage.

Mediation

Divorce mediation allows you and your spouse to work through conflicts with the help of a trained, neutral third party. The mediator facilitates productive discussions and helps you reach fair compromises. Mediation can be a constructive way to shape your divorce agreement together rather than leaving it in the hands of the court. It is typically faster and less expensive than litigation.

In January 2016, Illinois changed how divorce laws perceived "fault" grounds for divorce. Before the change, things such as impotence, polygamy, adultery, abandonment, substance abuse, or felonies were just a few things someone would need to prove to be granted a divorce. The only ground for divorce now is irreconcilable differences, making Illinois a no-fault state. This can be relatively straightforward if the parties have lived separately for at least six months. This is a good first example of what it could mean to have irreconcilable differences, although its definition varies. However, if the parties have not been living separately, do not worry because a judge does consider that sometimes during a divorce that there can be various reasons as to why a party may not be able to live separately during this time, whether it be financial reasons or family reasons, the judge will consider this

What Is a No-Fault Divorce?

A no-fault divorce means there does not need to be a specific reason why two people have decided to separate. It is easy to think that a divorce must have meaning. However, that is not the case. The choice to get a divorce is both subjective and personal. Responsibility for the end of a marriage will not play a role in how assets are divided and typically does not affect other decisions made during the divorce. Divorce is a difficult thing to go through, and it can cause a lot of hurt feelings on both sides. However, from a legal standpoint, the reason for a divorce is not relevant.

Details of a No-Fault Divorce in Illinois

Another element to be aware of when having a 'no-fault' divorce case is there is a waiting period. There used to be a waiting period of up to two years for a divorce to be filed under the grounds of irreconcilable differences. However, now there is no waiting period for irreconcilable differences. If both parties are willing to negotiate, mediate and cooperate, the divorce process should not take much time. How long the divorce process takes ultimately depends on how the parties participate.

Over the last several decades, the attitudes toward marriage and divorce have evolved significantly in many parts of the country. Many states, including Illinois, have made ending an unhappy or unhealthy marriage easier than ever before, helping spouses escape what could be an ultimately damaging situation. In at least one state, however, a number of lawmakers believe that getting a divorce has become too easy and have introduced legislation that would limit the availability of no-fault divorce for its citizens.

According to recent estimates from the U.S. Census Bureau, the divorce rate in the state of Oklahoma is among the highest in the nation. An estimated one-third of all marriages in Oklahoma end in divorce and about 13.4 percent of the state’s population is currently divorced. For some in the state legislature, these types of numbers are unacceptable. Representative Travis Dunlap, R-Bartlesville, has introduced a bill that he believes will encourage married people to fight for their marriage rather than giving up with things get tough.

A Tough Sell in Modern Times

In less than two weeks, a new era of family law is set to begin in Illinois. For the first time in nearly four decades, state’s statutes regarding divorce and other family-related concerns is being completely revamped. After receiving bipartisan support in the Illinois House and Senate this past spring, the reform was signed by the governor in July and is set to become effective on January 1, 2016. The measure takes aim at a large number of provisions in the law, including child custody, out-of-area relocation, and more, but one of the biggest changes affects the way that divorce is handled in the state.

Grounds for Divorce

Currently, there are about a dozen grounds for divorce that are based on the behavior of a spouse. These include what you might expect: adultery, abandonment, mental or physical cruelty, habitual drunkenness, severe substance abuse, and the conviction of a serious felony or other infamous crime. A divorce on one of these grounds is said to a “fault” divorce, casting the blame, in a legal sense, on the spouse whose actions led to the breakdown of the marriage.

In Illinois, according to the Illinois General Assembly, various grounds for divorce include: adultery; the absence of one spouse for at least one year, willfully; habitual drunkenness (or drug use) for at least two consecutive years; being convicted of a felony or other “infamous crime”; attempted murder; bigamy; and impotence.

Illinois, however, is also a no-fault divorce state. This means that a couple can still be legally divorced, even if neither spouse is necessarily found at fault.