No matter the situation, getting a divorce is a big life change. Even if you were only married for a couple of years, getting divorced changes almost everything about your life. Though you may feel that you are ready for a divorce (and you probably are) you may not exactly be prepared for what is to come. There are certain things that you do not expect to experience when you get divorced and there are things that may not have even crossed your mind before. Everyone has different circumstances when it comes to divorce and everyone will experience the divorce differently, but there are a few things you should know about life after divorce. Even if you are the one who initiated the divorce, you will probably still feel a sense of loss. Even though divorce is the legal process of separating yourself from your spouse, it is also very much an emotional process. Many people underestimate just how much of a transition a divorce really is. You are changing everything from your living situation to your financial situation - it is understandable for you to feel things like loss, sadness, grief, and disappointment. These are all emotions many people experience in their life after divorce. If you have children, you do not get to ignore your ex. Just because you are getting divorced does not mean that you get to part ways and never see your ex again, especially if you have children. You and your spouse will forever be linked by your children and that is something you must come to terms with. Even when your children are grown adults and no longer are under you or your spouse’s care, you will still have that link. Divorce might affect your children in ways that are apparent through their behaviors. There is no one way that divorce will affect your children. Just like adults, all children are different and all children will have different reactions to a divorce. Your kids will not always tell you that the divorce is bothering them or that they have certain feelings about the stress a divorce can bring. Sometimes, your children’s behaviors will be the telltale signs that the stress is getting to them.

Holidays will be difficult for years to come.

No matter what holidays you celebrate, holidays mean family. When you are going through a divorce, your family situation is changing and many people who you were accustomed to seeing you will not see again. Holidays can be difficult for anyone, but they can be particularly difficult for those who are divorced. If you have children, chances are you will not be able to spend every holiday every year with them. An experienced Aurora, IL divorce lawyer can be extremely beneficial during the divorce process.

Divorce is a complicated process that requires the expertise of someone who knows what they are doing. The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C. has been representing spouses in divorce proceedings for over 15 years. Our experienced DuPage County divorce attorneys can guide you through every step of the divorce process and help you come to an agreement that your whole family can benefit from. Call our office today at 630-409-8184 to set up a consultation.

 

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Unlike child support, spousal support is not guaranteed in Illinois divorces. When you get a divorce and you and your ex have a child together, the spouse who has the child a majority of the time will receive child support payments, whereas it will be determined whether or not a maintenance award is even appropriate. Certain circumstances and factors are examined to make this determination, including the income of each spouse, any impairment of each spouse’s earning capacity, the duration of the marriage and the standard of living that was established during the marriage. Even if you are awarded a maintenance payment, the length of the award depends on a number of factors, as well. Length of Marriage Will Determine Length of Payments

According to the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act, the length of time you were married will directly impact the length of time you are paid maintenance payments. The Act outlines specific multipliers to use with the length of marriage in years to find out the duration of your payments. Examples of the multiplying factors include:

• Less than five years of marriage to seven years of marriage: .20-.32;
• Eight years of marriage to 10 years of marriage: .36-.44;
• Eleven years of marriage to 13 years of marriage: .48-.56;
• Fourteen years of marriage to 16 years of marriage: .60-.68;
• Seventeen years of marriage to 19 years of marriage: .72-.80; and
• Twenty years or more of marriage: Equal to the length of the marriage or indefinitely.

For example, a person that was married to their spouse for 16 years will receive payments for 10.88 years. When a maintenance order is entered, there must be an extreme change in circumstances for the duration or amount of maintenance paid to be changed. An Aurora, IL Spousal Maintenance Lawyer Can Help

Divorces can be stressful, especially if it is contested. Not all divorce cases will involve maintenance awards, but depending on your circumstances, you may be awarded spousal maintenance. The best way to make sure you are getting your fair share of marital property and spousal maintenance is by hiring an experienced DuPage County spousal maintenance lawyer. At the Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C., we have extensive knowledge of Illinois’ Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act and the rules concerning spousal maintenance. Contact our office by calling 630-409-8184 to set up a consultation today.

 

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Thanksgiving is the holiday that marks the time of year when fall is officially over and winter is beginning. For many families, Thanksgiving is the time of year when you gather around the table with your friends and family members and you share a delicious feast that you have cooked yourselves. It is a time to show your appreciation and remember everything you are thankful for, but for many families, Thanksgiving can be a stressful time of year. When you are divorced, many things in your life change, including how you celebrate holidays. If you have children, holidays can be especially difficult to figure out how you will celebrate. Though Thanksgiving can be wrought with stress and sometimes disappointment, here are four tips that may just help you survive this season: Remember What the Holiday Is Truly About Thanksgiving is a time for family. With that being said, it is not so much your happiness that is most important, it is your children’s. While the holidays can be stressful for you, it can be even more stressful for your children, because they want to spend it with both of their parents. Even if it is not in the cards for you to spend time with your children on Thanksgiving, do not make your children feel bad for spending time with your ex. Stick to (or Adapt) Your Parenting Plan Your parenting plan is going to be one of your most valuable tools in your post-divorce toolbox when it comes to holidays. Your parenting plan should spell out which holidays the children spend with you and which holidays they spend with your ex. The plan should also specify how they spend corresponding school breaks. If you and your ex are on amicable terms, you do not have to follow the parenting plan exactly. You can split time during the day for your children to see you if both of you agree on it. If you and your ex are still hostile toward each other, it is probably best just to stick to the parenting plan. Communication Is Key Though you may not want to talk to your ex, communication is key to having a low-stress holiday. If you and your ex are following your existing parenting plan, then there is minimal communication that must be had, though there will always be some. If you and your ex are deciding on an alternate arrangement, then good communication and prior planning will save you many headaches. Get in Touch with a DuPage County Divorce Lawyer

Holidays can be stressful for every family, even ones who do not have to go the extra mile to work out parenting times and multiple meals. The easiest way to dictate how holidays are spent with your children after a divorce is to make sure you have a solid parenting plan in place. An Aurora, IL divorce attorney can help you create a thorough parenting plan that addresses all of the major holidays and school breaks and how your children will spend those holidays. Contact the Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C. to discuss your specific situation and get to creating your plan. Call the office today at 630-409-8184 to set up a consultation.

 

Source:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/family-law-attorney/divorced-children/200812/managing-divorce-and-children-during-the-holidays

As many as half of all marriages in the United States end in divorce. While divorce still tends to have a negative stigma surrounding it, it is often the best choice that a person can make. You are better off being divorced and happy than continuing to live in a miserable marriage. Some people may think that a divorce is the end of their romantic lives, but many people use their divorce as an opportunity to reconnect with themselves and find a partner who is the right fit for them. If you are considering remarriage, it does not come without its own set of complications. Here are three things you should consider before you tie the knot again:

Make Sure the Timing Is Right

Experts say that you should wait about a year before you begin dating again after you have been divorced. This allows you to spend some time outside of a romantic relationship, which you can use to get in touch with yourself, rediscover your interests and determine what you want in your next romantic relationship. Remarrying too soon after a divorce can be a recipe for failure, but the timing can differ for everyone. If it feels natural to get remarried, then you are probably ready. How Will Your Children React to the Remarriage? Children can have a lot of opinions about a lot of things - and your remarriage will be no exception. Getting married again means inviting a new person into your life, but that also means that this person will be in your children’s lives as well. Before you get married again, talk to your children about how they feel and see what they have to say about the idea. While it is ultimately not their decision, it can be beneficial for both you and them if they are on board. A Prenuptial Agreement Can Protect You and Your Finances Many people turn to prenuptial agreements before they get remarried. Prenuptial agreements can help you protect your finances and your assets in your second marriage. They can also help you spell out certain terms for your children, such as what property your children will get if you were to get divorced or where certain family heirlooms will go. A DuPage County Prenuptial Agreement Attorney Can Set You Up For Success

A divorce does not have to mean the end of your love life. Romantic relationships after a divorce can be some of the most meaningful relationships of your life. There are certain considerations that you should make before you enter into a second marriage. At the Law Offices of Matthew M. Williams, P.C., we can help you understand the ramifications of getting remarried and how it can affect your current child support orders or parenting plan. We can also help you draft a secure and thorough prenuptial agreement if you believe that one is right for you. Call our experienced Aurora, IL prenuptial agreement lawyers for a consultation at 630-409-8184.

 

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It has often been said that marriages do not just break - they get weaker and weaker over time and eventually just fall apart. Issues can arise when one spouse begins to notice problems with the marriage, while the other spouse is blissfully unaware of the troubles. You have two choices when it comes to this - either mutually agree to work on your problems together or call it quits and get a divorce.

Making that decision can be one of the biggest decisions you will make in your life, which is why it is so stressful. Many times, the signs that your marriage is eroding away are not always obvious and can seem normal. Here are four signs that you should be looking for if you think it might be time for a divorce:

You (or They) Are Not Willing to Work on the Marriage

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One of the biggest questions people have when they begin the divorce process is how it will affect their finances. Many people forget how interwoven their lives become with their spouse’s lives until they go to separate them. Especially when it comes to your finances, things can become confusing and stressful. The decisions you make during your divorce will affect you for many years to come, if not the rest of your life. One of the ways you can ensure your finances are taken care of and your assets are distributed correctly is by having a lifestyle analysis prepared.

What Is a Lifestyle Analysis?

Simply put, a lifestyle analysis creates the basis for what your standard of living was during the marriage. It is basically the complete financial picture of the most recent years of your marriage. Your lifestyle analysis will include:

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When it comes to children of divorce, Illinois courts are not really concerned with either of the parents. The courts’ first and foremost concern is the children themselves and their well being. It is of the opinion of Illinois courts and Illinois law that children are best off having a close and loving relationship with both of their parents. This is why the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act states that “it is presumed that both parents are fit and the court shall not place any restrictions on parenting time.” But because the courts’ primary concern is the children, they will, in fact, place restrictions on parenting time if they find that the child’s overall well being would be endangered by spending time with one or both of his or her parents.

Getting the Court to Place Restrictions on Parenting Time

It is the court’s assumption that the child will benefit the most from spending time with both parents. Sometimes, if one parent has the majority of parenting time (sometimes called the “custodial parent”) he or she will petition to have the other parent’s parenting time restricted or revoked altogether. A court will only grant a restriction on parenting time if, after a hearing is conducted, it finds that the child’s mental, emotional, physical or moral health would be endangered by spending time with the parent.

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Although it may have never crossed your mind, prenuptial agreements can be beneficial for many people - not just those who are wealthy. Prenuptial agreements are legal contracts that couples sign before they are married that can hash out the details of things like property division or spousal support in the event that the couple was to ever get divorced. Each state has its own laws pertaining to prenuptial agreements and agreements in Illinois are subject to the Illinois Uniform Premarital Agreement Act. The Act dictates everything from how prenuptial agreements must be constructed, to what can and cannot be included in prenuptial agreements. As with most things in the legal world, prenuptial agreements can become tricky, but here are four things that you should know before committing to a prenuptial agreement. Anyone Can Benefit from a Prenuptial Agreement Many people’s knowledge about prenuptial agreements comes from what they have seen on television and in movies. You do not have to be extremely rich or have tons of valuable assets to get a prenuptial agreement. Any couple can benefit from getting a prenuptial agreement, especially when one or both spouses have been married before, one or both spouses have children from other people, either one of you owns a business or there is an income disparity between the two of you. You and Your Soon-to-Be Spouse Both Need to Hire Lawyers While it would be easier to just hire one attorney who could draft the agreement for you, both of you should get your own lawyers to help you look over the agreement and foresee any future problems with it if it were to be used. A single attorney cannot be an advocate for both of you and if you both do not have separate legal counsel, your agreement may not hold up in court. Full Disclosure Is Required You are required to be completely truthful about any current assets that you have or any future assets, such as inheritance or inherited property you may get. Full disclosure is required going into an agreement, that way both spouses know what they are getting into. It Can Get Awkward Between You and Your Significant Other Bringing up the idea of a prenuptial agreement can be awkward for both you and your soon-to-be spouse. Prenuptial agreements tend to still carry a negative stigma because they are planning what will happen if you two get a divorce. Really, you should not stress about the conversation with your significant other. If you two truly love each other, the conversation will be welcomed with open arms. Contact a DuPage County Prenuptial Agreement Lawyer

Though people rarely talk about prenuptial agreements, they should not be considered taboo. In the unlikely event that you and your significant other get a divorce, prenuptial agreements can save you a lot of time and money about certain decisions, making the process easier. If you are looking to get a prenuptial agreement before you are married, you should contact a skilled Aurora, IL prenuptial agreement attorney. The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C. can help you draft an agreement that benefits both you and your spouse. To schedule a consultation, call the office at 630-409-8184.

 

Sources:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/christinefletcher/2018/09/18/10-things-you-need-to-know-about-prenups/#6229d8ce62ba

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If you are a divorced parent, you probably know how difficult celebrations and get-togethers can be, especially when they involve family or your children. Halloween is a very child-oriented holiday and can be stressful for some parents if they do not know how to handle it. With trick-or-treating, Halloween parties and choosing a costume, there are many things that you must discuss with your ex-spouse, whether you like it or not. Like many things in life, communication is key when having a happy Halloween. Here are four tips to help your child have a good spooky season. Communicate, Plan and Prepare It has already been said, but it needs to be said again - communication is key. You should probably have had these discussions a few weeks ago, but if you have not, you need to have them as soon as possible. Talk with your ex and figure out a game plan as far as school Halloween events, such as parties or parades. You should also discuss how you both will spend Halloween with your child and who will be doing what. Share the Night With Your Ex If you and your ex can manage it, you should share the night with your child. That can mean that you both take your child trick-or-treating at the same time, or that can mean that one of you takes your child trick-or-treating first and then the other one takes your child trick-or-treating after. Double the trick-or-treating means double the candy - and your child probably will not complain. Talk About Your Child’s Costume Costumes have become less scary over the years and more provacative. You and your ex should discuss your child’s costume before either of you agree to allow your child to wear it, especially if you have teenage children. It is only respectful that you allow your ex to partake in the decision of what costume your child wears. Focus on Your Child Above all, you should recognize that Halloween is a time for both you and your spouse to have fun with your child. You should put aside any hard feelings or differences that you and your ex may have and focus on your child. Your child will thank you for it someday. Create a Solid Parenting Plan with Help From an Aurora, IL Divorce Attorney

Halloween is just the beginning of a multi-month stretch of planning and communicating about various holidays and their respective events, parties and festivities. A comprehensive parenting plan created by a DuPage County divorce lawyer can help take some of the guesswork out of where your child will be during each of those holidays and how you will get to spend it with them. Contact the Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C. to begin discussing your specific needs in a parenting plan. Call the office at 630-409-8184 to set up a consultation.

 

Sources:

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/halloween-trick-or-treat_b_6028064

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When you hear people talking about divorce, they are probably talking about one of three things: how it affects you emotionally, how it affects your children, or how financially debilitating it can be. Marital life typically means that all of your finances and assets are entwined with each other, making it a difficult and stressful time for you when you go to separate them. Divorce can leave you with a sad bank account, a less-than-favorable credit score and thoughts about how you will pay bills alone. Although these issues can weigh on you, there are things you can do to help yourself after your divorce. Educate Yourself Before you begin creating a plan of attack for your finances, you have to know what you are working with. One of the first things you need to do is to take stock of all of your assets and debts and determine what is now yours. Divorce means you will be splitting all of these things, though not necessarily equally, but equitably. Figure out what you are working with and then go from there. Create a Budget Next, create a budget of what you need to spend and save each month. List out all of your monthly expenses such as rent, health insurance, utilities, credit card payments or other bills. Then figure out how much you can afford to save each month. Even a little bit at a time can add up eventually. Creating a budget can help you get into the swing of managing your finances after your divorce. Cancel Your Joint Bank Accounts Though this might be self-explanatory, you need to immediately cancel any and all of your joint bank accounts that you have with your spouse. Once you have begun the divorce process, having any joint accounts open can become a big liability very quickly. If your ex happens to run up big bills on credit accounts and your name is still on them, you will also be liable for paying those debts. Get a New Credit Card Opening a credit card with just your name on the account is a good way to begin rebuilding your credit. Start by spending a small amount each month, such as money for gas, but make sure you have the money to pay the bill off each month. Balances that sit on your credit card are not good for your credit score. Contact an Illinois Divorce Attorney

While you may be panicking now, you should take a deep breath and know that everything is going to be okay. An experienced Aurora divorce attorney can help you make the right financial decisions when it comes to dividing you and your ex’s assets and debts. Contact the Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C. to determine your best plan of action. To set up a consultation, call the office at 630-409-8184.

 

Sources:

https://www.pacificawealth.com/21-divorce-financial-tips-must-divorce/

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When it comes to divorce, there can be a lot of confusion around how it works, the legalities of it and how it affects you in the long run. Some of this confusion can be attributed to the difference in laws between states, some can be contributed to the portrayal of divorce in movies and television, but much of the confusion surrounding divorce is because no two divorces are the same. Stories that you hear about other people and their divorces can be misleading because much like people, no two divorces are the same. Allowing yourself to be consumed by divorce myths can be detrimental to your divorce success. Here are four common divorce myths and the realities behind them.

If You Cheat, You Will Suffer in the Divorce

The notion that adulterers lose in a divorce is an antiquated one. While cheating brings about many types of issues and can be emotionally damaging, Illinois does not recognize cheating as grounds for making decisions about divorce-related matters. The Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act states that one of the purposes of the Act was to “eliminate the consideration of marital misconduct in the adjudication of rights and duties incident to dissolution of marriage.”

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Among all of the things that you must take care of when you are going through a divorce is your children. In Illinois, you are required to create a parenting plan that outlines parenting time, parental responsibilities, where the child spends certain holidays and when the child will be moving between homes. Illinois courts prefer you and your ex-spouse to come to an agreement before you go to court, but in the event that you cannot, the court will decide your parenting plan in a proceeding.

This realm of divorce can be confusing because Illinois has adopted the terms “parenting time” in place of “physical custody” and “parental responsibilities” in place of “legal custody.” Here are answers to some frequently asked questions about parenting plans in Illinois:

How Is Parenting Time Determined?

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Though you never planned for it, a divorce can be one of the biggest events in your life. You are changing your entire life when you divorce, from where you live to which bank account you use. A divorce is very much a legal process, but it is also more than that - it is an emotional process that you must go through as well. Emotional coping is very important when you are going through a divorce and is essential to your mental health once you have completed the legal aspect of divorce. Here are some ways to help you cope with the wild emotions that divorce can bring:

Allow Yourself to Grieve

Though divorce is a legal process, it is just as much an emotional one. It is only natural to grieve the loss of your relationship when you are going through a divorce, and to prevent yourself from grieving will only prolong the process. Allowing yourself to go through the stages of grief is a healthy coping mechanism that will enable you to move on with your life.

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When you think of divorce, you might think of litigation in a courtroom with a judge handing down decisions, or a couple in a lawyer’s office arguing with each other, voices raised, about who gets to keep the family home. While popular culture would lead you to believe this is how divorce is, in reality, it does not have to be that way. When you think of getting a divorce, you do not have to go the traditional litigated route - you have options. One of those options is to go with a collaborative divorce, or one in which you both work together to settle your disputes outside of the courtroom. This has turned out to be beneficial for many couples for many reasons. Here are a couple of reasons why you should consider going with a collaborative divorce: The Process Can Be More Affordable Because you are settling issues in various meetings, rather than in the courtroom, you are not having to pay court costs and fees every time you try to settle something. Rather, you can make it a point to come to a decision about certain things during each meeting, cutting down on the number of meetings you will actually need to have. You Have More Control Over Your Outcomes One of the main benefits of collaborative divorce is the ability to actually control what happens to you and your family’s futures. In a collaborative divorce, both you and your spouse work with your separate attorneys to come to a decision on certain topics that will most benefit your family. In a litigated divorce, the judge will make decisions for you in accordance with state laws if you and your spouse cannot come to a decision on your own. Often times, the decision that the judge makes is not necessarily in you or your family’s best interest. Collaborative divorce allows you to do what is best for your situation. You Can Choose How Long the Divorce Process Is In a collaborative divorce, you are not relying on the availability of judges and the court’s schedule. You get to settle issues on your own time, meaning you have the power to make the divorce process as long or as short as you would like it to be. Instead of waiting months between court hearings, you can schedule meetings as frequently as you want, meaning your divorce could possibly be over within a year. Get in Touch With a DuPage County Collaborative Divorce Attorney

While most divorces will have some sort of conflict when hashing out specifics and certainly no divorce will be easy, a collaborative divorce might be your best option for a minimally stressful divorce. With help from a trained Aurora collaborative divorce lawyer, you can have peace of mind knowing you and your family’s futures are in good hands. Contact the Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C. at 630-409-8184 to begin your collaborative divorce process.

 

Sources:

https://www.familycircle.com/family-fun/relationships/collaborative-divorce-benefits/

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There could be many reasons why you would want to petition to move out of the area with your child after a divorce - you could be moving for your job, to be closer to family or maybe you just want a change of scenery. Whatever the reason is, as long as you have the majority of parenting time or equal parenting time allocated to you, you can petition to relocate with your child. Typically, relocating with your child requires a change in your existing parenting plan. Though the process to make the change in your parenting plan can be stressful and time-consuming, it is not impossible.

Steps You Must Take

In Illinois, there typically must be a significant change in circumstances before you can change your parenting plan.  A relocation constitutes a significant change. If you plan on relocating with your child, you are required to submit a written notice of relocation to your child’s other parent within 60 days of relocating. If you do not provide notice, the court can use that as a factor in considering whether or not the relocation is in good faith.

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It is extremely important to understand your financial situation, especially if you are getting a divorce. It is not uncommon for people to try to keep certain assets from their spouses when it comes to dividing them during a divorce. Unfortunately, nearly 15 million Americans reported that they have at least one bank account or credit card account that their live-in partner does not know about. Though you may think it is difficult to figure out if your spouse is hiding assets from you, it can become obvious if you know what you are looking for. Here are five signs that your spouse may be hiding something:

You Notice an Increase in Transactions on Your Bank Statements

You should know your spouse’s spending habits better than anyone. If you notice unusual transactions or purchases, it could be a sign that he or she is trying to cover their trail. An increase in large purchases, such as cars, artwork or jewelry could be a sign that your spouse is trying to convert their cash to physical assets. Unusual ATM transactions could be a sign that your spouse is moving money from a joint account to a secret account.

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Traditionally, divorce has been frowned upon, especially if a couple has children. It was thought that children were better off growing up in a family where their parents were married. But staying in an unhappy marriage can mean a life of misery for you and can actually be detrimental to your children. Though “staying together for the kids” was once seen as an act of decency, it is now seen as an act of ignorance because children pick up on familial tension far more than some adults realize. That tension can manifest itself in many different ways in children, none of them being favorable. Here are four ways staying in a bad marriage could affect your children:

Chronic Stress

Sure, your kids might not know exactly why you and your spouse are fighting, but they can pick up on the tension that the fighting creates, which can lead to stress. Children look up to both of their parents and when they are both fighting constantly, they feel tense around them, rather than relaxed. Chronic stress can lead to problems such as depression and chronic fatigue.

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There is no way around it - getting a divorce will be difficult at times, stressful during the divorce proceedings and emotionally demanding during most of the process. A divorce is the legal separation of you and your spouse, but it goes much deeper than that - divorce is also the emotional separation of you and your spouse and the end of your relationship. It is only normal for you to go through a mourning period, but there are things that you can do to make your divorce go as smoothly as possible, ultimately saving you a lot of pain and distress.

1. Think of Your Divorce as a Business Transaction

Though it will be difficult, emotionally distancing yourself from your relationship will help you immensely. Marriage is just a legal contract that you entered into with your spouse - now you are getting out of that contract, which is the divorce. Try to treat the process like you would treat a severing of a business relationship - your heart will thank you.

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There is no one answer for how children of any age will react to their parents’ divorce, but there are common reactions that have been observed in children of different age groups. These common reactions can give you things to look for in your children when you are going through a divorce and can help you plan how to deal with these reactions.

Infants (Ages 0 to 18 Months): At this time in their lives, the child knows only the love that their parents give them by holding them and spending time with them. A divorce can impact the amount of time that a parent spends with the child, which can have negative effects on the baby. Infants can sense a lot more tension in the home than you think they can. Possible reactions to the tension can be:

• Nervousness around new people;
• Loss of appetite or change in eating habits;
• Frequent outbursts or tantrums; and
• An uneasy stomach.

Toddlers (Ages 18 Months to 3 Years): When children are toddlers, their main interactions are still with their parents, or siblings if they have them. For toddlers, change can be difficult for them. Toddlers thrive off of routine and predictability, so when their routines are changed or interrupted, they can have negative reactions. These reactions can include:

• An increase in crying or tantrums;
• Wanting more attention than normal;
• Trouble sleeping; and
• Feelings of anger.

Preschoolers (Ages 3 to 5 Years): A preschoolers are exposed more to the outside world, their level of thinking becomes more complex and their world is expanded. These children are trying to make sense of the world that they do not yet understand, so when they are in a family in which parents are going through a divorce, they probably do not understand why mommy and daddy are no longer together. Reactions during this stage can include:

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Divorce is not an easy concept for many children to grasp. Even if they understand the basics of what a divorce means, many children still cling to the hope that their parents might get back together. Introducing your children to your new partner is a task that can be daunting and requires a certain level of prudence. Your children should be at the forefront of your concerns, so dating after your divorce should be as unobtrusive to your children as possible until both you and they are ready to open their minds and arms to a new way of life. Timing Is Everything If you introduce your new partner to your children before they have had time to mourn the dissipation of their family unit, results could be less-than-desirable. Some experts say it takes at least a year before children are comfortable with their new life and have settled into their new routine of having divorced parents. You should also give the new relationship time so that you can evaluate the potential of the relationship. When children have new people in their lives, they tend to get attached to them. If that person is suddenly not there anymore, they will have to go through the break up just like you. While there are no guarantees that any relationship is long term, you should be sure that your new partner understands your concerns that you have about introducing them to your children. Be Honest with Your Children Though this is an age-sensitive topic, you should be as honest as is appropriate with your children. You can tell younger children that your new partner is your new friend and that you would like him or her to become friends with each other. With older children or teenagers, they might be more curious as to the status of the relationship. If you feel comfortable doing so, you can tell teenagers that you are dating and that your new partner is your new boyfriend or girlfriend. Get Help From a DuPage County Divorce Attorney

For some people, dating after a divorce can be an exciting and fun time in their life. You are able to explore your feelings for other people and enjoy the freedom from your ex, but you should also take into consideration how new relationships will affect your children. Going through divorce can be tough on children, but with the help of an Aurora divorce lawyer, you can help your children avoid the stress of a divorce. Contact the Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C. at 630-409-8184 to set up a consultation.

 

Source:

https://expertbeacon.com/how-introduce-your-children-new-partner-after-divorce#.W5AW1egzpPY