Posted on December 19, 2024 in Divorce

Marriage to a narcissist can be fraught with difficulties. Divorcing a narcissist can be just as difficult. Covert narcissism is a term used to describe a subtype of narcissistic personality disorder. A covert narcissist has an even greater need for admiration, attention, and validation than your "average" narcissist. The covert narcissist is also extremely unwilling for others to see them for who they really are – including a spouse.

A typical narcissist is a blatant attention seeker with an inflated ego. The covert narcissist is much more subtle. While appearing to display humility, the covert narcissist is always seeking to maintain a position of control over others. Both overt and covert narcissists share a lack of empathy for others and a sense of entitlement, although the covert narcissist is better at hiding those qualities.

Covert narcissism can have a profound impact on a relationship for many reasons, but perhaps primarily because of the total lack of empathy. In a romantic relationship like a marriage, a covert narcissist is likely to alternate between showering his or her partner with attention and deliberately withholding attention and love. The covert narcissist is likely to be extremely controlling and jealous and often isolates his or her partner from friends and family members.

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 Posted on December 11, 2024 in Divorce

All marriages go through rough patches, but in some cases, a "rough patch" may last for months or even years. When it feels like there are more bad days than good, one or both spouses may begin to consider splitting up. The question at this point is whether it is time for a separation – perhaps a trial separation – a divorce or an annulment.

It is important that you have a full understanding of the differences between these choices and know how each would apply to your specific situation. If you are considering uncoupling, it is time to speak to an experienced Aurora, IL divorce attorney from The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C..  

When is Annulment Possible in Illinois?

While a divorce ends a legal marriage, an annulment declares the marriage was never valid at all. Annulments in Illinois are granted for very specific purposes only, including:

•  One spouse was not mentally capable of consenting to the marriage because of mental illness, intoxication, or another issue that shows a lack of capacity.

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 Posted on December 03, 2024 in Divorce

Since most divorces are complex in one way or another, the last thing you may want to think about is taxes. Unfortunately, like other subjects you would prefer not to think about, settlement negotiations must factor in the tax implications and how your divorce could alter your tax situation.

As if tax issues were not enough, divorced individuals tend to have a higher rate of tax audits. This is because forensic accountants often expose hidden assets and undisclosed income during a divorce. Following a divorce, the IRS has three years to audit your marital finances, although this time period can be extended to six years if there are discrepancies over 25 percent or fraud seems likely.  

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 Posted on December 01, 2024 in Child Support

Even after a divorce is final, custody agreements are settled and support payments ordered, the adults and children who lived through the experience can still live through periods of uncertainty. This is especially true if a custodial parent stops receiving the child support payments they count on for monthly expenses related to raising their children.

Illinois Laws Push for Payment

For years custodial parents felt they had no recourse if their ex-spouse suddenly stopped or refused paying agreed upon monthly child support payments. To help custodial parents pursue that money, and encourage continued payment, the state of Illinois enacted a series of enforcement programs. These laws apply to both deadbeat dads and moms:

• Income Withholding: All Illinois employers are required to file a report of all new hires with the state. Reports are shared with the Department of Healthcare and Family Services, and Orders to Withhold Income for Child Support are submitted to the employer if it is found that a  new employee is delinquent in their child support payments.

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 Posted on December 01, 2024 in Finances & Divorce

The marriage only lasted five years, but the divorce has just surpassed the 10 year mark. The case has already produced almost 600 motions and rulings – and there’s no end in sight.

This long divorce and child custody case is playing out in a Connecticut family court between David Zilkha, a former investment advisor, and his ex-wife, Karen Kaiser. It began on August, 13, 2003, when Kaiser filed the action against Zilkha, saying the marriage had "broken down irretrievably." The divorce was granted in May 2005, but the battle has continued to wage between the two over child custody issues involving the couple’s 12-year-old twin son and daughter and legal fees.

Zilkha is a British citizen and now lives in London. He hasn’t seen his children in four years, and accuses Kaiser of repeatedly lying to the court about him and alienating the children from him. A court ordered mental evaluation allegedly determined that the father has such a severe narcissistic personality disorder that he shouldn't be allowed to see the children. Kaiser says he can see the children under supervised visitation but he refuses. He claims that it would cost him $5,000 per visit.

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 Posted on November 26, 2024 in Divorce

It can be difficult to determine whether problems in the marriage caused one spouse to turn to drugs or alcohol or whether a drug and alcohol addiction led to the end of the marriage. While some divorce issues are very straightforward, substance abuse is one that can be a fairly gray area. After all, an overwhelming majority (62 percent) of American adults drink alcohol, while 38 percent abstain entirely.

So, if most adults drink alcohol, the question becomes, "How much is too much?" Marijuana is now legal recreationally in 24 states, including Illinois; as a legal drug, how is the amount smoked even quantified? Prescription drugs can be bad when they are not taken as prescribed, and, of course, there are illegal drugs like cocaine, heroin, methamphetamine, and more. Is your spouse truly an addict? Is that your assessment, or would that be the general consensus?

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 Posted on November 22, 2024 in Child Custody

Illinois has changed the term "custody" to refer to the allocation of parental responsibilities. Visitation is now parenting time, and the parent with primary custody is now the primary residential parent. While the terms have changed, the goal remains the same—to ensure that everything concerning a divorcing couple’s children revolves around the best interests of the child.   

What each parent wants will have little impact on a judge. He or she is concerned with allocating parental responsibilities to ensure the child’s interests are best served. While this all sounds civil enough, the portion of divorce that deals with children is often the most contentious, drawn-out battle of the entire divorce.  Because of the emotions involved in divorce, parents can lose sight of what is best for their children.

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 Posted on November 21, 2024 in Child Custody

During the allocation of parental responsibilities, either the parents or the judge will likely determine that the parents will jointly make major decisions for their children. This is separate from the determination of parenting time and parental responsibilities. "Major decisions" usually include those regarding education, religion, and healthcare. Education and religious decisions tended to be more contentious in the past, but today, healthcare may take the top spot for disagreements between co-parents.

Illinois law tries to prevent these disagreements by requiring parents to make a detailed, legally binding parenting plan. Unfortunately, not every disagreement between co-parents will have the solution spelled out in the parenting plan. New issues will almost certainly crop up as the children get older. If you are in a disagreement with your ex regarding a healthcare decision for your child, speaking to a knowledgeable Oswego, IL parental responsibilities attorney from The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C. can be beneficial.  

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 Posted on November 15, 2024 in Property Division

Many spouses are stunned when they find out during their divorce that the property, gift, or inheritance they believed was their separate property turns out to be a marital asset, thanks to commingling. If a person owns a home or other property, has an inheritance, or has amassed a sizeable bank account before marriage, these assets belong to that spouse alone unless they have been commingled.

Commingling occurs when a separate asset is mixed in with marital assets, changing it into a marital asset, subject to division. Suppose one spouse owns a home that was left to him or her by great-aunt Ruth. If the spouse who owns the home adds the other spouse to the title, it immediately becomes marital property. There are other, less obvious, and often unintentional ways property can be commingled.

Even without placing the other spouse on the deed, if marital funds are used to make improvements to the property, at least a portion of the home becomes marital property. If the other spouse works on the home extensively, at least a portion of the home becomes marital property. If one spouse is given a gift or inheritance before or during the marriage, the presumption is that it is separate property unless it is commingled.

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 Posted on November 12, 2024 in Divorce

Virtually every couple has some level of conflict during a divorce. After all, there was likely conflict that led up to the divorce and the emotions and stresses of a divorce can escalate conflict. Couples argue about a myriad of issues, some important and some not as important. Either way, the arguments can be fierce, whether a couple is arguing about the allocation of parental responsibility or who should get the garden gnome in the front yard.

A high-conflict divorce seems destined to never, ever allow an agreement between the spouses without a full-blown argument preceding it. If you are facing off against a high-conflict spouse, you already have some experience dealing with him or her from your marriage. Or, perhaps you never really learned to deal with the tactics employed by your spouse, finding yourself responding in the same manner.

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