Child custody battles can be contentious, acrimonious, traumatic, and costly. A reliable child custody attorney can help with dispute resolution to facilitate an amicable outcome. However, when dispute resolution, like mediation, fails, the court may appoint a guardian ad litem (GAL), a child representative, or a custody evaluator to help determine what is in the child's best interests. These investigations can be intrusive, nerve-racking, and embarrassing, making some feel unfairly judged. A child custody attorney skilled in collaborative law can also help you prepare for the evaluations of court-appointed, third-party investigators. 

What is a Guardian Ad Litem, a Child Representative, and a Custody Evaluator?

Guardian ad litem (GAL) -- GALs, who are certified and trained through the Department of Children and Family Services, advocate and protect a child's best interest during custody battles. Working on behalf of a child, a GAL is typically court-appointed and can serve as a witness. After a thorough investigation, GALs provide recommendations to the judge. A GAL's fees are billed to the child's parents or guardians.

Child representative – As an attorney for the child and trained in child advocacy, a child representative is bound by attorney-client privilege and cannot be called as a witness. A child representative, like a GAL, advocates for the best interest of the child and serves as the child’s voice. After evaluating the case and interviewing the child, a child representative can file motions regarding parental responsibilities. The child’s parents or guardians also pay the child representative's legal fees.

According to the Illinois Department of Child & Family Services, nearly 70 percent of child abuse is not reported to authorities. Typically, a child informs seven adults of their abuse or neglect before it is reported to the authorities. Any delay in reporting can intensify the severity of the abuse and embolden the offender to abuse more children. The Children's Advocacy Centers of Illinois (CACI) asserts each day, there are 222 reports of abuse, and one in ten children are sexually abused before reaching 18 years of age. Illinois law defines four types of child abuse: emotional, physical, sexual, and neglect.  

 For most, child abuse engenders reactions of visceral disgust and outrage, especially as children are the most vulnerable in society. Child abuse can be perpetrated by an ex-spouse, the ex-spouse's new partner, or even the child's step-sibling. A divorce attorney can help a concerned parent who suspects their child is suffering abuse to present their case to the court, modify the parenting plan, and petition for an order of protection. 

Illinois Law’s Definition of Child Abuse

Child emotional abuse – This type of abuse from offending parents or guardians is typically chronic. The abused child is endangered with impairment or risk of impairment to their emotional well-being. Abusive behaviors include but are not limited to rejection, isolation, terrorizing, ignoring, corrupting, and verbal abuses. Emotional child abusers are also sometimes known to place unrealistic pressures on the child.

Whether you are an unmarried parent or currently going through a divorce, child custody matters are never easy. Parents can disagree about what is best for their children, and these disagreements sometimes escalate into full-blown child custody disputes. If you are currently involved in a child custody case, there is no way to completely eliminate conflict. However, there are some things you can do to promote cooperation and civility.

Tips for Reducing Conflict and Encouraging Cooperation in Your Custody Dispute

First, remember that your children come first. It is important to put their needs above your own and to try to make decisions that are in their best interests. Of course, this is often easier said than done. Parents sometimes get so caught up in their own emotions that they forget what is best for their children. If you find yourself in this situation, take a step back and try to remember why you are doing this in the first place.

Second, be willing to compromise. It may be best to work with your attorney and decide which issues you are and are not willing to compromise on. For example, you may insist that your child stays in a certain school district but would be willing to negotiate the specifics of the parenting time schedule.

When getting a divorce, a very important situation to figure out is determining who will have custody of the children. Whether full custody is granted to one parent or a shared child custody arrangement is put into place amongst co-parenting adults, the ultimate decision can yield quite the grueling process. The topics of child custody and visitation become even more complex when step-parents are interested in pursuing legal access to the children as well. 

Who is Legally Defined as a Step-Parent in Illinois? 

In Illinois, the law specifies that a step-parent is an individual who is legally married to one of the parents of the child in question. While someone may consider his- or herself a parental figure to a child, if he or she is dating the child's parent, as opposed to being officially married to them in the eyes of the law, then Illinois does not recognize said individual as a step-parent. Without an official marriage license, the partner of a child's parent cannot be considered a step-parent. 

Do Step-Parents Have Visitation Rights in Illinois?

Step-parents have visitation rights in Illinois under certain conditions. A step-parent may petition for visitation rights to a child if the parent of the child has denied the step-parent any access to, communication with, or visitation with the child. 

Creating a shared parenting agreement is often one of the most stressful parts of divorce. Often, one or both parents believe they alone know what is best for their child and will try to minimize the other parent’s parenting time or parental responsibilities. While this can be a tempting short-term strategy, in the long run, it leads to sad and confused children and angry, burnt-out parents. 

But when divorcing spouses can work together to create a parenting agreement and commit to peaceful co-parenting, it can be possible to have children share time in two households without endless conflict or stress. However, such a commitment must happen from the beginning - when the parenting agreement is being created. If you are getting divorced and want to work cooperatively with your spouse now and in the future, read on. 

Give the Benefit of the Doubt - And Then Give it Again

After divorce, spouses are often focused on the many years of preceding conflict. But relitigating arguments with your ex gets you nowhere - and makes it more difficult to focus on good parenting in the present. Even when your spouse presents behaviors that you find triggering, try to keep in mind that they might not be trying to upset you; they might just be themselves. If you can give your ex the benefit of the doubt, even when they do things that annoy you, it will be much easier to share parenting responsibilities.