The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C.


1444 North Farnsworth Avenue, Suite 307, Aurora, IL 60505

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5 Strategies for Co-Parenting in a High-Conflict Divorce  

Posted on in Chicago divorce attorney

aurora child custody lawyerCo-parenting is never easy, but co-parenting during and after a high-conflict divorce is especially hard. Some divorcing spouses intentionally draw out the divorce process, refuse to cooperate, and say hurtful things to provoke the other spouse. They fight the other spouse every step of the way.

High-conflict divorce cases involving children can be extremely challenging. If you are getting divorced and you share children with your soon-to-be-ex, you will need to take proactive steps to reduce drama as much as possible.  

Consider a Temporary Child Custody Order

If a divorce case is highly contentious, it will probably take longer to resolve than a typical divorce case. You may want to ask the court for a temporary child custody order during the divorce so that both parents’ expectations and obligations are formalized. The temporary relief order can allocate parental responsibilities, or the right to make decisions about the child, as well as parenting time, or the time each parent spends with the child. However, the court will only enter a temporary order if it is in the child’s best interest.

Make Your Parenting Plan as Detailed as Possible

Your parenting plan details the allocation of parental responsibilities and parenting time after the divorce – which may be different than the determinations in the temporary order. Make sure to make your parenting plan as detailed as possible so that both parents know what is expected of them and what happens if they do not meet these expectations. A detailed parenting plan is much easier to enforce than a plan with vague language or missing information.

Never Involve the Children in Adult Conflict

Shield your children from adult conflict as much as possible. You will undoubtedly be tempted to badmouth your ex – especially if he or she deserves it. However, speaking negatively about your ex can influence your case negatively and also have a deep impact on your kids. If you need to vent, speak to a trusted friend or family member. Alternatively, consider getting counselling or therapy to deal with the stress of the divorce.

Get Legal Help Now

It is never too soon to meet with a divorce lawyer and start planning your approach to the divorce.  Your attorney will provide invaluable guidance and support during the process. He or she can help you petition the court for temporary child custody and child support orders, handle property division, and much more.

Be a Good Role Model for Your Kids

Although it is difficult, try to reframe your difficult divorce as an opportunity to be a good role model for your kids. Even if they are young, your children have almost certainly picked up on the tension in the household. You can show your children how to handle difficult life circumstances with grace and dignity – even if your ex takes the opposite approach.

Contact a Batavia Divorce Lawyer

North Aurora divorce attorney Matthew Williams has well over a decade of legal experience in divorce and family law issues. He can help you end your marriage while reducing the stress on you and your children as much as possible. Call 630-409-8184 for a confidential consultation.


The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C.


1444 North Farnsworth Avenue, Suite 307, Aurora, IL 60505

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