Telling Children about Divorce

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Child Custody

Honest and open communication is an important tool in any relationship. When it comes to breaking the news about an impending divorce, good communication skills will come in handy. This is especially true when it comes time to telling your children that you and your spouse are divorcing, and the subject of child custody becomes a reality.

Breaking the News

Just as many adults are affected by the news of divorce, children frequently take the news quite hard. The range of emotions, from anger to guilt, can impact many other areas of their young lives. Here are a few thoughts on the subject that may just help you break the news while easing the pain your children feel, even if just a little bit:

• Keep your own emotions in check when telling your children about the divorce. This will put you in a good frame of mind when discussing the matter with the kids.

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Determining Paternity for Child Custody

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Child Custody

When a child custody decision must be made by the court, one of the first jobs is to determine who is and is not a legal parent. A few years ago, the Illinois legislature completed a massive rewrite of the Illinois Parentage Act to better clarify who in a relationship has a parental claim to any children that are part of the union in question.

What the Courts Look At

While the courts and child advocate representatives are required to make decisions based on what is in the best interests of the children in question, other factors may impact who is awarded custody and who earns child visitation rights once a relationship has ended. This is where stipulations set forth in the Illinois Parentage Act spell out that which is to be considered. In the case of determining a relationship between a child and a woman claiming to be the mother, the following scenarios are considered:

• The woman gave birth to the child, EXCEPT in cases that involve a valid contract of surrogacy.

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Blending Families Post-Divorce

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Child Custody

Perhaps one of the most difficult and emotional parts of any divorce is when the the future and custody of children is involved. This can still weigh heavily even years after a divorce is final when parents enter into a new relationship and combine their children with those from another family whose parents are no longer married.

Unlike Television

When two adults decide to enter into a relationship, especially one that may result in marriage, their children usually have little influence. However, getting married and starting a family that involves the blending of two, previously existing families, definitely comes with some pitfalls to navigate on the path to establishing a happy and healthy household.

• Couples must work to ensure that any children who only live with them part-time feel like a full member of the family during the time they are with them.

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Understanding the Rules of Parent and Child Relocation

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Child Custody

Many things can trigger a move after a divorce - a new job, moving to be closer to family or even a new relationship. When a parent wants to relocate a child after a divorce, they must take certain steps to ensure that they are relocating the child legally and not in violation of any current parenting agreements.

What Is Considered Relocating?

According to Illinois law, you are considered to be relocating if you are moving more than 25 miles from the child’s original home if it is within Cook, DuPage, McHenry, Kane, Lake or Will counties or if the new home is out of state. The law also says that if the original home is not within the listed counties, a move is considered relocation if it is more than 50 miles from the child’s original home.

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Advantages of Nesting Parenting Arrangements After Divorce

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Child Custody

Divorce is a giant change of pace in a family’s life. Parents know that divorce can be difficult for children to adapt to and can cause undue emotional distress. They work to minimize the effects of divorce on their children, which is how a fairly new parenting arrangement has come around. This arrangement is called “nesting,” which is a very child-centered approach to allocating parenting time. What Is Nesting? Nesting is a co-parenting arrangement where parents continue to share the family home and take turns living there to take care of the children. Rather than getting used to moving back and forth between two separate homes, the children reside full time in the family home that they are used to. The goal of nesting is to maintain a stable home for the children while the divorce is changing the aspects of the family’s life. Can Nesting Work for You? Because nesting involves high levels of cooperation and communication between the two parents, this type of arrangement usually only works with parents who are on good terms with each other. Minimal conflict is key for nesting to work--parents must be willing to put their children's’ well being ahead of their own. The family must also be able to provide some sort of other living arrangements for the parents when they are not at the family home--it can get expensive to sustain two living quarters, plus the family home. Advantages of Nesting

There are many advantages of this alternative type of child custody arrangement. Advantages of nesting include:

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Tips For Navigating Graduations for Co-Parents

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Child Custody

You have probably been thinking about this event since the day your child was born. High school graduation is a mark in a child’s life that symbolizes their path to adulthood. They might be going off to college and your life might be changing forever. What you may not have thought about was the fact that you are divorced now. If you have gone through a rather troublesome divorce, attending events like these can be stressful for all involved--but they do not have to be. Here are some tips on how to behave civilly during your child’s special day:

Plan Ahead

Oftentimes, events such as graduations limit the number of tickets that each family is allotted to attend the event. If this is the case, you should plan ahead and make sure that you and your spouse have an equal number of tickets to allow all of your family members to attend the event. If need be, you should try to find additional tickets if you or your spouse have more family members than tickets.

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Understanding the Best Interest of the Child in Illinois

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Child Custody

When you are going through divorce proceedings, one of the many facets that you will come across is issues pertaining to your children. In Illinois, physical child custody and visitation are called parenting time and legal custody is called parenting responsibility. When making decisions about these things, the court is always taking into consideration the best interests of the child. The majority of parents are concerned with their child’s best interests, but their views of what is best for the child can sometimes be clouded by everything else surrounding the divorce. Understanding what the court considers best for the child can help you anticipate what decisions the court will make with your case. What Is the “Best Interest” of the Child? In legal terms, the best interest of the child is used in most cases involving decisions made about children. This means that the judge presiding over the case will base his or her decision about parenting time and responsibilities on a number of factors to best suit the child’s individual needs. All states have some sort of standards set in place to determine what is in the child’s best interests. Determining Factors in Illinois

The Illinois Juvenile Court Act of 1987 set into place specific factors judges take into consideration when a “best interest” determination is required. The child’s age and developmental needs are taken into consideration, along with:

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Child Representative in Illinois Divorce Proceedings

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Child Custody

Divorce is not a walk in the park--some divorce cases can become extremely nasty pretty quickly. Unfortunately, in cases where there is a lot of fighting between spouses, the children often get lost in the shuffle. The parents are so preoccupied with fighting with each other that the best interests of their children often get pushed to the bottom of the pile, even if it is unintentional. Illinois courts recognize that divorce can wreak havoc on the emotions of those going through the divorce process, so they have put measures into place to make sure that the best interests of the children involved in these divorce proceedings are kept at the forefront.

When Is a Child Representative Used?

The Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act states that any proceeding that deals with issues of support, visitation, custody, allocation of parental responsibilities, education, parentage, property interest or general welfare of a dependent child warrants a reason for the court to appoint a representative of some kind for the child involved in the hearing. There are three types of representation that is recognized in Illinois:

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Parental Responsibility Proceedings: Interviews, Evaluations, and Investigations

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Child Custody

For some people, divorce may be a peaceful process. They may already know who will get the house, who will keep the dog and where their child will live. And if they do not already know, they may be able to quickly agree on those things. For the majority of divorcing couples, the decisions are not that easy and deciding parental responsibilities can become a long and combative process. When this happens, Illinois courts may decide to take things into their own hands and conduct interviews, evaluations, and investigations as to what the best parenting arrangement would be for the child. The Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act allows the court to require evaluations if the parents cannot come to an agreement on their own. Court Interviews Because the determination of parental responsibilities directly affects the child, it is important to understand his or her wishes in regard to the situation. Sometimes, the child does not have the chance to voice their wishes and in this case, the court will conduct an interview with the child to try to determine what they would prefer. According to the Act, counsel will be present during the interview and the interview will be recorded by a court reporter. Professional Evaluation

In addition to interviews, the court may either appoint a professional to conduct an evaluation or if a parent requests an evaluation, will allow either parent to choose a professional for the job. The professional’s job is to interview the parents and the child, observe the child with each parent, review court documents pertaining to the case, contact other professionals such as teachers, daycare workers, therapists and doctors and conduct psychological testing if needed. The professional’s report to the court must contain:

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Creating a Comprehensive Parenting Plan in an Illinois Divorce

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Child Custody

In addition to dividing property, savings accounts, and retirement funds, many divorcing couples also have children that they must make arrangements for. Divorce is hard on everyone in the family, but it is arguably the hardest on the children. By creating a comprehensive parenting plan that encompasses as many issues pertaining to the children as possible, you can help eliminate some of the trepidation and mystery that a divorce brings.

Parenting Plan Is Required by Law

Under Illinois law, all couples who are divorcing and have children together must submit a parenting plan that covers a certain set of issues. These parenting plans help the court decide what the proper course of action is when awarding parenting responsibility and parenting time. If a couple does not have a comprehensive parenting plan to submit to the courts, they will be required to attend mediation to come up with a parenting plan that is agreeable to both parents.

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