The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C.

630-409-8184

1444 North Farnsworth Avenue, Suite 307, Aurora, IL 60505

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b2ap3_thumbnail_Kane-County-family-law-lawyer.jpg-min-1.jpgNot all marriages have a happy ending. In fact, depending on the source you consult, around 40 to 50 percent of all first marriages in the United States end in divorce. If that statistic was not sobering enough, the divorce rate only increases for people who are married Kendall County a second and even a third time, with numbers soaring to somewhere around 60 to 65 percent of marriages ending in divorce. Though the statistics suggest that the odds are against you when it comes to remarriage, everyone deserves to be happy and find a partner with whom they can spend their life. Having a successful second marriage is not impossible; you just need to plan accordingly before you walk down the aisle a second time. Below are a few things you should keep in mind before you get remarried:

Be Truthful

First and foremost, you should be sure that you divulge everything of importance to your future spouse before you are married. You should be open and honest about all of your assets, credit history, debts, and other obligations. If you have obligations to provide child support or spousal maintenance to a child or spouse from a prior marriage, tell your new partner about them. Getting everything out in the open and being honest is the first step to a successful marriage.

Decide How You Want to Keep Your Assets

Second or subsequent marriages often include spouses who are bringing significant property and assets into a marriage. Make a list of each of your major assets and how you would like to use them or how they will be handled after your death. You and your spouse should decide how you want to handle all of your assets going forward. Will you have a joint bank account, or will you both still keep separate bank accounts? Which assets are important to separate?

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prenupAs many as half of all marriages in the United States end in divorce. While divorce still tends to have a negative stigma surrounding it, it is often the best choice that a person can make. You are better off being divorced and happy than continuing to live in a miserable marriage. Some people may think that a divorce is the end of their romantic lives, but many people use their divorce as an opportunity to reconnect with themselves and find a partner who is the right fit for them. If you are considering remarriage, it does not come without its own set of complications. Here are three things you should consider before you tie the knot again:

Make Sure the Timing Is Right

Experts say that you should wait about a year before you begin dating again after you have been divorced. This allows you to spend some time outside of a romantic relationship, which you can use to get in touch with yourself, rediscover your interests and determine what you want in your next romantic relationship. Remarrying too soon after a divorce can be a recipe for failure, but the timing can differ for everyone. If it feels natural to get remarried, then you are probably ready.

How Will Your Children React to the Remarriage?

Children can have a lot of opinions about a lot of things - and your remarriage will be no exception. Getting married again means inviting a new person into your life, but that also means that this person will be in your children’s lives as well. Before you get married again, talk to your children about how they feel and see what they have to say about the idea. While it is ultimately not their decision, it can be beneficial for both you and them if they are on board.

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Posted on in Life After Divorce

divorce-adviceWhen considering a divorce, or while you are going through this highly emotional and stressful experience, perhaps the last thing anyone wants to hear is a lot of advice about how to handle the whole process. A divorce is a very personal matter. It would be rare that any two divorces are exactly alike, so it is unlikely that advice from one will fit the needs of another.

Do What is Best for You

No one knows or understands your marriage experience better than you, so applying the advice of others to a very personal matter, such as a divorce, may prove to be quite counterproductive. Here is a sample of some advice that might be right for some, but could be considered quite bad depending on an individual’s circumstances. If you hear this advice from friends or family, proceed with caution.

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causes of divorce, divorced couples remarry, DuPage County divorce lawyer, remarriage, divorce processWhen one or both partners in a marriage decide to pursue a divorce, the thought of remarriage is not usually among the matters under immediate consideration. However, over time, remarriage is something  that many divorced individuals pursue, even remarrying the same person they previously divorced.

To some, the thought of remarrying the same person you just divorced may sound ridiculous. After all, whether the divorce process was amicable or hostile, so much time, energy, money, and emotion was spent settling issues such as alimony and support, custody and visitation, and division of marital assets. The reality is that some couples eventually realize, after time spent apart, that remarrying their “ex” is right for them.

How Does it Happen?

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blended family, DuPage County family law attorneyFor many people, remarriage offers another chance at finding the happiness that may have eluded them in their previous relationships. A person considering getting married again has found a new partner with whom they look forward to building a life together. From a practical standpoint, however, marriages can be very challenging, especially for those with children still living at home. Such couples must take steps toward blending their families in a way that is beneficial for everyone involved.

Talk, Listen, Repeat

The first thing that you and your intended spouse should do is have a series of conversations about what you expect your new home situation to look like. Chances are good that you each ran your homes differently and will have your own ideas about the “right way” to do things. If only one of you has children, the other may defer to parenting style, but if you both have children, compromises will be necessary. Start slow and allow time for reflection and consideration of each other’s ideas, then revisit them with follow-up discussions as needed.

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new partner, DuPage County family law attorneyWhen you are required to pay alimony—also known as spousal maintenance under Illinois law—your payments are intended to help your former spouse alleviate some of the financial impact of the divorce. To a certain extent, maintenance is also used to help an economically disadvantaged spouse retain a semblance of the lifestyle the two of you enjoyed during your marriage. But, what happens when your spouse meets someone new? Could his or her new relationship affect your requirements for continuing spousal support payments?

An order for spousal maintenance is typically set for a specific number of months or years. Alternatively, the payments may be ordered to continue on a permanent basis. “Permanent,” however, only means that there is no date set on which the order will be terminated. It does mean that the payments will continue forever no matter what. There are certain factors or occurrences that could allow you to stop paying maintenance to your ex-spouse despite a permanent award.

Standard of Living

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prenuptial agreement, remarriage, Illinois family law attorneyAs the age at which Americans enter their first marriages continues to rise, each partner is likely to bring more personal history and property to the marriage than those of previous generations. Individuals spend more time as single adults than ever before, often starting careers, buying homes, and investing in various business interests. For many entering marriage for the first time, a prenuptial agreement may be appropriate to help establish what belongs to whom in the event the marriage does not succeed. For those entering a subsequent marriage, however, a prenuptial agreement may be virtually necessary to account for even more complex personal situations.

Second and Third Marriages

If you are considering remarriage, one of two things have already happened: you have been widowed by the death of a spouse or you have been through the process of divorce. Therefore, you probably have a pretty good understanding of many of the complexities that can present themselves. A prenuptial agreement, as you probably realize, can help remove a great deal of uncertainty through cooperation while the spirit of togetherness is alive and well between you and your soon-to-be spouse. Drafting a prenuptial agreement is not betting against your marriage any more than a life insurance policy equals betting against your life. At some point, your marriage will end, either by divorce or death, and a prenuptial can address both realities.

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custody, visitation, Illinois Family Lawyer Child custody and visitation plans can be some of the most challenging and potentially contentious aspects of a dissolution of marriage proceeding. Additionally, the composition of the modern, blended family can present additional challenges when there are stepparents involved in or impacted by custody agreements.

Visitation and Custody Agreements in Illinois for Natural Parents

In Illinois divorce cases involving children, it is typical that one parent is designated as the primary or residential parent of the child(ren). This is to ensure continuity for administration of a legal mailing address and school district qualifications.

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DuPage County family law attorney, remarriage, remarrying after divorce, subsequent marriages fail, rebound marriage, Illinois family law attorney, divorce rate“If at first you do not succeed, try, try again.”

While this may be good advice for most things in life, it does not seem to be good advice for those who divorce. The divorce rate for second and third marriages is even more dismal than it is for first marriages. In fact, 67 percent of second marriages fail, and for those that go onto a third marriage, 75 percent can expect to make another trip to divorce court.

There are several theories why subsequent marriages fail. One theory is family dynamics. Often both spouses have children from prior relationships and suddenly there is one big blended family of stepparents and stepchildren. Personality differences and different parenting styles can lead to all types of conflicts. The sense of “family” that often holds first marriages together just does not exist in second and third marriages. Some psychologists also believe that it is easier for couples who have already gone through the breakup of a marriage to walk away from another marriage if they are not happy. They know they can “survive” a divorce, and therefore are not willing to stay in a marriage that is not working for them. One of the most popular theories why subsequent marriages fail is that people get remarried when they still have not completely recovered from their prior marriage. They do not allow themselves to heal or really think about what they want in the future. This is referred to as the “rebound marriage” phenomenon. Conducted research shows that people who marry within one year of a divorce have a very low chance of a lasting new marriage. For someone considering remarriage, there are a few key questions to ask. These include the following:
  1. Have you allowed yourself enough time to “grieve” your last marriage?

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The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C.

630-409-8184

1444 North Farnsworth Avenue, Suite 307, Aurora, IL 60505

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