In the United States, healthcare can be an extremely complicated topic, especially for children. After a divorce, many parents find that managing the medical care of their children may be wrought with arguments, tension, and stress. Although there is no guarantee that you can eliminate all issues down the road, planning for your child’s healthcare before your divorce is finalized is a good idea. Some children may need more managed, targeted medical treatment, while other children may only need a yearly checkup. Every family is different, so putting your child’s medical plan in writing can help save you from future disputes.

Managing Your Child’s Health Insurance

Part of the child support obligation that parents share is intended to cover some basic medical expenses, but the court will likely also require you to have medical insurance for your child. Either parent can opt to include the child on medical insurance coverage that he or she has through an employer. The cost of the health insurance premium for the child is typically added to the monthly support amount and split between the parents.

...

When you created your parenting plan during your divorce, it contained a lot of information. It included what you and your spouse’s parenting time schedules looked like, who your child would spend vacations and school holidays with, and how you and your spouse would settle child-related disputes. What your parenting plan likely did not contain was a game plan for co-parenting during a health crisis, such as the one the world is experiencing with COVID-19. Unprecedented situations may warrant a change in everyone’s routine, so it is important to be flexible and willing to compromise with your ex-spouse while considering your child’s best interests.  

Working Together for Your Child’s Well-Being 

The worldwide coronavirus pandemic has changed the way we go about our daily lives for weeks and in some places, even months. Co-parenting is not an easy task, and it can become even more difficult during a crisis because of the stress and uncertainty that family members are experiencing. Even so, here are a few things you should keep in mind while you navigate co-parenting during this challenging time:

...

Being a parent means you do everything in your power to give your children the best life possible. Unfortunately, spouses are not always in agreement when it comes to what is best for their children. Having differing opinions is nearly unavoidable, but these differences can get in the way when it comes to creating a parenting plan. If you are getting a divorce, and you have minor children, you and your spouse must draft this legal document, which contains vital information about parenting time and the allocation of parental responsibilities. Disagreements are a part of life, but a knowledgeable divorce attorney can help you resolve many of these issues.

Drafting a Joint Parenting Plan

Before you can finalize your divorce, you and your spouse must have a parenting plan in place. The parenting plan is like a game plan for how you will raise your children after the divorce. The two main components of a parenting plan are the allocation of parental responsibilities (child custody) and the parenting time (visitation) schedule. Your parenting plan should also address issues such as each parent’s decision-making rights, where the child will spend certain holidays and school breaks, how and where parenting time transitions will take place, and how your child will be transported between households.

...

Getting a divorce is a stressful situation, with much of that stress stemming from the uncertainty of the situation. Once your divorce is finalized, you will have an agreement in writing for how issues will be handled moving forward. You and your spouse must create a parenting plan that will be followed as you raise your children. This may also include a spousal support and/or child support agreement, so you have a better picture of your future financial situation. However, what happens before you reach that step? During the divorce process, it is not uncommon for one spouse to move out of the family home, and you and your spouse will begin separating your finances and other aspects of your lives. During this time, temporary orders can be put into place to help alleviate some of the anxiety during the transition.

What Do Temporary Orders Address?

Illinois courts always believe that the best and most beneficial way to handle domestic disputes is for the parties to work together to come up with a solution. During a divorce, this may be difficult to do, which is when temporary court orders can come in handy. As you work to complete your divorce, you can ask the judge for temporary relief to address things such as parenting time or child support while the case is pending. When granted, temporary orders will typically remain in effect until your divorce is finalized. Common temporary orders can include:

...

Some of the most common issues that arise after a divorce is settled are those related to the child(ren) the couple had together. Specifically, disputes over parenting time (visitation) can occur, and they can lead to a great deal of conflict between the parents. Because the decisions made during divorce are legally binding, a non-compliant parent can face a variety of legal consequences. 

Court-Ordered Parenting Time

When you get a divorce, the state of Illinois requires you to come up with a parenting plan that outlines all relevant issues regarding your child, including how you and your ex-spouse will share parental responsibilities and how parenting time will be split between the two of you. If you cannot come to an arrangement on your own, an Illinois judge will make the decision for you based on a variety of factors in the child’s best interests. Because the parenting time schedule specified in your parenting plan is required, approved, and sometimes even created by the court, this makes it a legally-binding court order. This means both you and your spouse must follow the terms of the order, or you could face being held in contempt of the court.

...

"Divorce" and "peaceful" are probably two words that you never thought you would put in the same sentence together, but a peaceful divorce is not as rare as you might think. Amicable divorces are beneficial to everyone involved, especially if you have children. Having a peaceful divorce does not just happen by chance -- you have to not only want it to happen, but you also have to work hard to make it a reality. Although it takes two cooperating spouses to achieve a truly amicable divorce, there are certain things you can do to encourage a tranquil resolution. Below are a few tips to attain the ever-illusive harmonious divorce, which can help everyone with this major life transition. 

Be Respectful to One Another

There are a number of common reasons why couples get divorced, some of them being addiction issues (gambling, drugs, or alcohol), infidelity, or even domestic violence. Even though these issues can make it difficult to maintain respect for your spouse, keeping a mutual level of respect between the two of you is important to having a smooth divorce. Arguing or disrespecting your spouse in front of your children can make kids feel like they have to choose sides, which can be detrimental to their emotional well-being. The breakup of the family unit is traumatic enough, so do not add extra stress on them. 

...

Getting a divorce can be a daunting task. There are many issues that you must address before you can finalize your divorce, and it can become even more complicated if you have minor children. Divorcing with kids can be overwhelming because of the emotional toll it takes on the entire family. One of the most important issues to resolve is how your children will be cared for after the marriage ends. In Illinois, a parenting plan is required by all couples who file for divorce and have minor children.

Parental Responsibilities in an Illinois Parenting Plan

Before your divorce can be finalized, Illinois law requires that you and your spouse have an agreed-upon parenting plan filed with the court. The parenting plan is a written agreement of how you and your ex-spouse will raise your children now that you are divorced. This legal document contains information about how parenting time will be split between the two of you, but also how parental responsibilities will be handled. At a minimum, Illinois parenting plans should address the following when it comes to allocating decision-making responsibilities:

...

Getting divorced when you have children brings about a wide variety of issues, worries, and concerns. Not only do you have to figure out how you will share parental responsibilities and how you will divide parenting time, but many parents also worry about how their children will be affected emotionally by the divorce. Statistics on this topic can be difficult to analyze; some sources say that divorce is detrimental to the mental and emotional health of children. While this can be true in some situations, a majority of experts agree that your children can grow up happy and healthy as long as they are able to experience a healthy co-parenting relationship between their parents. Co-parenting can be trying, even for parents who are amicable, but a peaceful relationship is not impossible.

Successful Co-Parenting Depends on Collaboration

You have heard it before, and you will most likely hear it many times during and after your divorce — cooperation and communication are key to success after divorce with children. You cannot hope to have a healthy co-parenting relationship with your ex if you do not know how to compromise or talk with each other effectively. Make it a habit to keep in regular touch with your ex about your child’s life, and always include him or her in important decisions.

Use Technology to Your Advantage

There are dozens of apps and websites available that were created to help people in your exact situation. So much of the success of your co-parenting relationship is dependent on communication, which also happens to be one of the hardest aspects of co-parenting. Using technology can help you and your ex discuss child-related issues. Websites such as Google Calendar can help you keep track of appointments and events for your child. Other companies such as Our Family Wizard have websites and apps to manage almost everything involved in co-parenting, such as parenting time schedules and expenses.

...

Now that the end of fall is nearing, the weeks will start flying by, and the winter holidays will be here before you know it. While this time of the year is for celebrating, it can prove to be a difficult time for many families, especially for children whose parents no longer live together. Every parent wants to spend special days and holidays with their children, but the reality of co-parenting is that there will more than likely be situations in which your children will be with their other parent instead of with you. Parenting time schedules are often different during the holidays, and adjusting them can be difficult. Here are a few common ways parents can split parenting time during the holiday season:

• Change holidays every other year: One of the most common parenting time agreements is having the children spend holidays every other year with each parent. For example, if the kids spend Thanksgiving with their mother this year, then the next year they would spend that holiday with their father. This ensures that not more than one year passes before a parent can spend a holiday with their child.

• Split the holiday in half: Another popular parenting time agreement during the holidays is to split the day between both parents. This can be beneficial for parents who both want to spend time with their kids on one day, but it also requires proper planning to ensure each parent actually has adequate time with the children.

  ...

Change can be hard for anyone, but it can be especially difficult for children. When it comes to divorce, children will typically experience a lot of change in a short period of time. Their living arrangements will change dramatically, they will not be spending as much time with either parent anymore, and in some situations, they may even have to adapt to new routines. All of this change can be hard on children, because they depend on stability and routine so much. This is a known fact, which is why the state of Illinois requires every divorcing couple who has children to create a parenting plan before they can finalize their divorce.

What Is a Parenting Plan?

A parenting plan is a legal agreement that contains information about how two parents will take care of their children once they are separated. In Illinois, a parenting plan will contain information about how parenting time is divided, along with how parental responsibilities are allocated. The Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act (IMDMA) contains the basic elements that all parenting plans must include in order to be approved.

Elements of a Parenting Plan

The courts encourage spouses to come to an agreement on the parenting plan. Most of the time, if couples agree on the parenting plan, they are more likely to be satisfied with the contents of the plan and actually follow the agreement. If they cannot agree, they must submit their own parenting plans to the court, and a judge will make the final determinations about the parenting plan. At a minimum, every parenting plan should contain the following:

...

The relationship between a child and his or her parents is something that is crucial to the healthy emotional development of the child. The majority of parents want to be there for their child’s special moments and spend as much time with them as possible during their childhood. When parents are going through a divorce, the time spent with their child often becomes a highly contested issue upon which many parents cannot easily agree. Studies show that children do best when they form a bond with both their mother and father, which is why Illinois encourages parents to have shared parenting time. Something that is known as the right of first refusal (ROFR) can be a bonus for parents who split parenting time with their ex-spouses.

Illinois Parenting Time

In Illinois, the court strongly encourages parents to come to an agreement on parenting time schedules on their own. When parents both draft a personalized timetable and agree to it, they are more likely to adhere to the schedule. If they are unable to come up with a parenting plan, the court will make a decision as to how parenting time is allocated. Unless there is evidence that dual parenting time would be harmful to the child, the court will award visitation time to both parents.

What Is the Right of First Refusal?

If the court allocates parenting time, it will also determine whether or not to award the right of first refusal to either parent. The right of first refusal means that if one parent cannot care for the child during his or her designated parenting time, that parent must first offer the other parent the right to care for the child during that time. This right would apply in instances when the parent would seek substitute childcare for a significant period of time.

...

There are many reasons why a person may want to move after a divorce. Some may want to be closer to family members, others may move for a new job or simply a fresh start. Whatever the reason, moving can be problematic for a divorced parent who wants to take his or her child with him or her.

In Illinois, moving out of state, moving more than 50 miles away from the current residence within the state, or moving more than 25 miles away if the current residence is in Cook, DuPage, Kane, Lake, McHenry, or Will County is considered relocation, and a parent will be required to obtain permission from the court. If the other parent does not agree to the relocation, a person still may be able to relocate, but the issue will need to be settled within the court system.

Notice of Relocation

Illinois law states that a person wishing to relocate with his or her child must notify the other parent in writing at least 60 days prior to the intended relocation. The notice should inform the other parent of the date of relocation, the new address, and whether or not the relocation is permanent. If the other parent signs the notice, and the notice is filed with the court, then the relocation will be granted, as long as the family court judge believes that the move would be in the child's best interests. If the other parent objects to the relocation or does not sign the notice, or if the parents cannot come to an agreement on a modified parenting plan, the relocating parent must file a petition to relocate.

...

With kids getting out of school and the weather warming up, June marks the unofficial start to summer. For many people, this means more time for family bonding and vacations, but for families with divorced parents, it can be a stressful time of adjustment. Having a child and being divorced means there is typically a set schedule specifying when a child will be with which parent, but that same timetable during the school year will not necessarily work over summer break. In order to make your and your child’s summer as carefree as possible, here are a few tips for successful co-parenting during the summertime months:

1. Plan Ahead and Communicate

The key to minimal conflict is to plan your summer in advance as much as possible and keep your ex-spouse in the loop. Try to talk with your ex beforehand and come up with a plan of how you would like to split parenting time during the summer. If you decide to play it by ear, be sure to let your co-parent know of any vacations that you plan on taking or any other activities in which your child will be participating.

...

Even just a decade ago, it was uncommon for fathers to win custody of their children, rather than just having visitation rights. Partial custody was awarded in some cases and full custody was rarely awarded unless the mother was a substance abuser, physically abusive, in jail or somehow otherwise unfit to be a parent. Now, most attorneys, judges and other divorce professionals agree that children do their best when both of their parents play an active role in their children’s lives. Still, fathers may have a more difficult time gaining a majority of or even partial parenting time with their children. Here are a few tips you can use to help you win at a parenting time hearing:

Build a Strong Relationship with Your Child

When judges allocate parenting time, one of their main concerns is what custody situation would be in the child’s best interest. The judge will be examining the relationship that the child has with you and the child’s other parent, so it is important that you ensure your relationship with your child is strong. Keep in touch with your child, even when they are not in your custody. Check in with your child often and make sure that they know you are there for them whenever they need you.

...

Most people experience an influx of stress during the holiday season, but for divorced couples and their children, it can be even more stressful than usual. When you have kids, this time of year is filled with holiday parties, gift exchanges, school plays, recitals, concerts, and holiday celebrations. Divorced families feel the stress when they try to manage all of this out of two households. Traditionally, this time of year is very family-oriented and if you have recently gone through a divorce, or this is the first holiday season as a divorced couple, your kids might be feeling the loss of their family. Here are a few ways you can help your kids cope with the holiday season and enjoy the new family situation:

Remember: It Is Not About You

Even though you want to have a good time during the holiday season too, sometimes sacrifices have to be made. One of the most important sacrifices that you could make for your children is putting your own happiness aside so that they can be happy. If you and your spouse are fighting about who gets the children on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, give in this year and let them have the kids. Next year, you will get your turn and your children will not have to feel the stress of multiple houses on multiple days.

Plan Well in Advance

The key to making sure you have a happy and successful holiday season is planning. This can prove to be difficult because, in order to have things planned out, the communication between you and your ex must be decent. Your children may have multiple things going on during the holiday season that they would like both of their parents to attend, such as plays, concerts and holiday parties. If it is impossible for both of you to be in the same room together, pick and choose which events you will attend.

Keep Some Old Traditions and Make New Ones

Kids thrive off of tradition and routine. Keeping some of the old traditions you used to practice when you were married can help them experience the familiar warmth of the holiday season. It is also a good idea to introduce new traditions for just you and your kids to practice to ease them into the change. You could make it a tradition to volunteer at a homeless shelter for an afternoon or you could allow them to open one gift on Christmas Eve.

Contact a Compassionate DuPage County Parenting Plan Lawyer

The holidays can be tough for anyone, but divorced families tend to have a more difficult time during the holiday season than any other time of year. At the Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C., we understand the ins and outs of making sure each parent has adequate parenting time during the holiday season. Our skilled Aurora, IL parenting plan attorneys can help you craft a comprehensive parenting plan that addresses all of your needs, including holiday parenting time. Call our office today at 630-409-8184 to set up a consultation.

 

Sources:

https://www.cnn.com/2011/12/21/living/holiday-survival-divorced-darents/index.html

...

Thanksgiving is the holiday that marks the time of year when fall is officially over and winter is beginning. For many families, Thanksgiving is the time of year when you gather around the table with your friends and family members and you share a delicious feast that you have cooked yourselves. It is a time to show your appreciation and remember everything you are thankful for, but for many families, Thanksgiving can be a stressful time of year. When you are divorced, many things in your life change, including how you celebrate holidays. If you have children, holidays can be especially difficult to figure out how you will celebrate. Though Thanksgiving can be wrought with stress and sometimes disappointment, here are four tips that may just help you survive this season: Remember What the Holiday Is Truly About Thanksgiving is a time for family. With that being said, it is not so much your happiness that is most important, it is your children’s. While the holidays can be stressful for you, it can be even more stressful for your children, because they want to spend it with both of their parents. Even if it is not in the cards for you to spend time with your children on Thanksgiving, do not make your children feel bad for spending time with your ex. Stick to (or Adapt) Your Parenting Plan Your parenting plan is going to be one of your most valuable tools in your post-divorce toolbox when it comes to holidays. Your parenting plan should spell out which holidays the children spend with you and which holidays they spend with your ex. The plan should also specify how they spend corresponding school breaks. If you and your ex are on amicable terms, you do not have to follow the parenting plan exactly. You can split time during the day for your children to see you if both of you agree on it. If you and your ex are still hostile toward each other, it is probably best just to stick to the parenting plan. Communication Is Key Though you may not want to talk to your ex, communication is key to having a low-stress holiday. If you and your ex are following your existing parenting plan, then there is minimal communication that must be had, though there will always be some. If you and your ex are deciding on an alternate arrangement, then good communication and prior planning will save you many headaches. Get in Touch with a DuPage County Divorce Lawyer

Holidays can be stressful for every family, even ones who do not have to go the extra mile to work out parenting times and multiple meals. The easiest way to dictate how holidays are spent with your children after a divorce is to make sure you have a solid parenting plan in place. An Aurora, IL divorce attorney can help you create a thorough parenting plan that addresses all of the major holidays and school breaks and how your children will spend those holidays. Contact the Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C. to discuss your specific situation and get to creating your plan. Call the office today at 630-409-8184 to set up a consultation.

 

Source:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/family-law-attorney/divorced-children/200812/managing-divorce-and-children-during-the-holidays

There could be many reasons why you would want to petition to move out of the area with your child after a divorce - you could be moving for your job, to be closer to family or maybe you just want a change of scenery. Whatever the reason is, as long as you have the majority of parenting time or equal parenting time allocated to you, you can petition to relocate with your child. Typically, relocating with your child requires a change in your existing parenting plan. Though the process to make the change in your parenting plan can be stressful and time-consuming, it is not impossible.

Steps You Must Take

In Illinois, there typically must be a significant change in circumstances before you can change your parenting plan.  A relocation constitutes a significant change. If you plan on relocating with your child, you are required to submit a written notice of relocation to your child’s other parent within 60 days of relocating. If you do not provide notice, the court can use that as a factor in considering whether or not the relocation is in good faith.

...

In addition to dividing property, savings accounts, and retirement funds, many divorcing couples also have children that they must make arrangements for. Divorce is hard on everyone in the family, but it is arguably the hardest on the children. By creating a comprehensive parenting plan that encompasses as many issues pertaining to the children as possible, you can help eliminate some of the trepidation and mystery that a divorce brings.

Parenting Plan Is Required by Law

Under Illinois law, all couples who are divorcing and have children together must submit a parenting plan that covers a certain set of issues. These parenting plans help the court decide what the proper course of action is when awarding parenting responsibility and parenting time. If a couple does not have a comprehensive parenting plan to submit to the courts, they will be required to attend mediation to come up with a parenting plan that is agreeable to both parents.

...

If you are a parent going through a divorce, you have probably given thought to how the process and its aftermath with affect your relationship with your children. You may have heard horror stories from friends and family members who never get to see their children or those whose children rarely spend time with their other parent. It is possible, however, for you and your spouse to develop a plan that provides for your child’s best interests while allowing your child to maintain a healthy relationship with both of you.

A Two-Pronged Approach

While there are many considerations that must be made in creating a workable parenting plan, there are two primary areas of focus according to Illinois law. The first concern is determining each parent’s responsibilities for significant decision making while the second addresses each party’s parenting time with the child.

...

The holidays are supposed to be a time of joy to be celebrated with loved ones, but the season can be stressful and difficult, especially for those who are going through a divorce or have divorced. The holiday season can seem lonely and challenging, with divided families and uprooted traditions. If you are divorced, and especially if you have children, it is important to be prepared for the holidays so that they can be pleasant for everyone involved.

Parenting Concerns

If you are divorced with children, yoiur parenting plan will likely dictate what to do during a holiday. In Illinois, parents have the right to spend time with their children unless it would endanger the child’s health or well-being. For many people, holidays are an important time to spend with children and family.

...