The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C.

630-409-8184

1444 North Farnsworth Avenue, Suite 307, Aurora, IL 60505

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Aurora, IL divorce attorneyA common saying is “When one door closes, another door opens.” This is true in most life events, even divorce. Although a divorce is the end of a marriage, it can also be a fresh start in life, providing the opportunity to find someone new and date again. The time between those doors can differ for everyone, but most people will eventually be open to another relationship after they divorce.

Dating again can be exciting, but it can also be stressful for your children. Depending on their age and level of maturity, they may or may not be able to understand why their parent has decided to start dating. Sometimes, new relationships can put stress on a family, but following the below guidelines can help you reduce anxiety and enjoy this next chapter in your life.

Do:

  • Talk with your ex before you introduce your partner to your children. Not only is this respectful, but it can also help keep the peace between all involved. Your ex has a right to know who will be spending time with your children. Be sure your ex is comfortable with the idea of introducing your children to your new partner. Sometimes, introducing your ex and your new partner can ease some of the tension everyone may be feeling.

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Aurora, IL parental relocation attorneyThere are many reasons why a person may want to move after a divorce. Some may want to be closer to family members, others may move for a new job or simply a fresh start. Whatever the reason, moving can be problematic for a divorced parent who wants to take his or her child with him or her.

In Illinois, moving out of state, moving more than 50 miles away from the current residence within the state, or moving more than 25 miles away if the current residence is in Cook, DuPage, Kane, Lake, McHenry, or Will County is considered relocation, and a parent will be required to obtain permission from the court. If the other parent does not agree to the relocation, a person still may be able to relocate, but the issue will need to be settled within the court system.

Notice of Relocation

Illinois law states that a person wishing to relocate with his or her child must notify the other parent in writing at least 60 days prior to the intended relocation. The notice should inform the other parent of the date of relocation, the new address, and whether or not the relocation is permanent. If the other parent signs the notice, and the notice is filed with the court, then the relocation will be granted, as long as the family court judge believes that the move would be in the child's best interests. If the other parent objects to the relocation or does not sign the notice, or if the parents cannot come to an agreement on a modified parenting plan, the relocating parent must file a petition to relocate.

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DuPage County, IL spousal support attorneyA divorce is never an easy decision, and for many, it can turn their entire lives upside down. Years ago, spousal maintenance (then known as alimony) was a rather common thing that was typically awarded to women who were getting divorced. Now, with more women in the workforce, the number of women receiving spousal maintenance has dropped, while the number of men receiving spousal maintenance has slightly increased. Spousal maintenance is still a rather common issue during Illinois divorces that must be decided before the divorce can be finalized.

Calculating the Amount of Maintenance Payments

If the judge determines that a maintenance award is, in fact, appropriate, he or she will use the maintenance guidelines to determine the amount of spousal maintenance to be paid. The Illinois maintenance guidelines apply to any couple whose combined annual income is less than $500,000 and when the payor does not have any other obligations to pay child support and/or spousal maintenance from a previous marriage.

The amount of maintenance to be paid is determined by taking a portion of the payor’s income and subtracting a portion of the receiver’s income from it. The formula for calculating the maintenance amount is as follows: 33.3% of payor’s income minus 25% of receiver’s income equals the yearly spousal maintenance amount. To determine the monthly amount for maintenance payments, you would simply take the amount for yearly maintenance payments and divide it by 12.

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Aurora divorce lawyer GAL child representativeAlmost anything that happens in the Illinois legal system that has to do with children revolves around what is in the child’s best interests. In the majority of divorce cases, at least one, but sometimes both of the parents, understand what would be in the child’s best interest. In some divorce cases, parents can become so blind with hate that the best interests of the child are lost, which is when a child representative steps in. Cases involving child support, the allocation of parental responsibilities, parentage, allocation of parenting time, relocation with the child, or even just the child’s general welfare can all be assigned representation for the child.

Types of Representation

The state of Illinois provides for three options when it comes to the representation of the child:

  • An attorney for the child

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Illinois divorce attorney, Illinois family lawyer,Whether you are just starting the divorce process or you are in the middle of a months-long divorce, it’s no secret that it can be hard on everyone. For many people, the only information they have about divorce is what they have heard from family or friends who have gone through it, or what they have seen on TV or in movies. Divorce brings with it a slew of uncertainties that even the most planned out divorces can bring. The divorce process is different for everyone, but here are a few things you may not know about divorce: You Will Probably Experience the Grief Process Losing a relationship from your life is a lot like losing a person from your life. Many people going through a divorce find that the healing process is very similar to that of the grieving process -- though it is not so much of a surprise. It is only natural for you to grieve the loss of your relationship, but going through the grief process can help you move on with your life. Your Children Will Definitely Be Affected Many divorcing parents wonder if their divorce will affect their children. While the perfect answer would be no, the divorce will almost certainly affect your children, even younger ones. There is no way to tell how a child will react to news of a divorce, but as a parent, it is your job to make sure your child develops healthy coping mechanisms. A divorce does not mean your child will be emotionally scarred for life -- most children are usually happier after. It is Going to Cost You Money It has been said that the average wedding these days costs anywhere from $20,000 to $30,000. Sadly, you could end up spending that much on divorce, too. While there is no “average” cost for a divorce, they can become costly very quickly. The total cost of a divorce will depend on the type of divorce you are getting, where your life if you are using an attorney and how amicable you and your spouse are. All Divorces Were Not Created Equally Many people think the only way to get a divorce is to hire attorneys and fight it over in court. In reality, there are a handful of ways you can go about getting a divorce. You could go with a traditional litigated divorce, a mediated divorce, a collaborative divorce or even a do-it-yourself divorce. Each type has its own advantages and disadvantages, so it can be worth it to do your research before you begin the process. Consult with a Knowledgeable DuPage County Divorce Lawyer

Though a divorce may feel like the end of the world, it is not. All divorces are different, but one thing you can do to make sure you have a successful divorce is to hire a skilled Aurora, IL divorce attorney. Contact the Law Offices of Matthew M. Williams, P.C. today to discover how we can help you finalize your divorce and allow you to move on with your life. Call our office today at 630-409-8184 to schedule a consultation.

 

Sources:

https://www.today.com/health/divorce-10-things-i-wish-id-known-2D80445585

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Posted on in Divorce

Illinois divorce attorney, Illinois family lawyer, life after divorce,Marriage is not easy. It takes a lot of work, effort, and persistence to make a marriage work, but sometimes it does not matter how hard you try -- you are destined to divorce. According to the National Survey of Family Growth, more than 20 percent of first marriages end in divorce within the first five years and 48 percent of marriages end before they hit 20 years. Divorce is an emotionally stressful and trying process, but sometimes it is one of the best things you can do for you and your spouse. Instead of making life as difficult as possible for both you and your soon-to-be ex, you should try focusing on making your split as healthy and smooth as possible.

Cooperate and Communicate

When you begin the divorce process, you will probably feel a flood of emotions, like anger, grief, and depression. When emotions are running this high, it is easy for you to do and say things that can negatively affect the divorce process. Remember, your emotions are valid, but how you handle them is important. Make sure you maintain an open line of communication with your spouse and remember that cooperation is key.

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Posted on in Divorce and Holidays

life-divorceMost people have a love or hate relationship with Valentine’s Day. Some people cherish the thought of pink and red hearts, chocolates and flowers. Other people loathe the insincerity of giving presents on a random day to declare your love. For those who are going through a divorce or have recently finalized their divorce, Valentine’s Day can be a giant reminder that you no longer have a significant other. While this can be depressing to some people, you should not let it get you down. Here are five ways you can survive your first Valentine’s Day as a single (or almost single) person:

Do Not Spend the Day Alone

It will help no one if you stay at home and wallow in your sadness all day. Call your friends, spend time with family, volunteer at a homeless shelter or nursing home -- the idea is to surround yourself with people on Valentine’s Day so you do not feel so alone.

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resolutionWe all know how most New Year’s resolutions work -- you come up with grandiose ideas about how you will change and be different, you follow them for about a month and then you go back to your same old routines. While keeping resolutions can be difficult, there is no better time to take a look at your life and do a little introspection and self-reflection than the beginning of a new year, especially if you are recently divorced or you are looking to begin the divorce process. Divorces can be messy and difficult, but keep these few New Year’s resolutions in mind and you could come out of your divorce on top. Let Go of Your Anger and Make a Point to Be Happy A divorce can cause you to feel many emotions, including anger, fury, contempt, and hate. It can be one of the hardest things to do, but once you let go of your anger, you will find that you will be much more relaxed and that it will be easier for you to be happy. Instead of taking your anger out on your ex, release your anger and forgive your ex for anything they might have done. It will be in your family’s best interest for you to move on. Focus on Improving Communication with Your Ex You have probably heard it many times before, but communication is key, especially when it comes to co-parenting. Being a single parent is tough, but being a single parent who has to coordinate with an ex who they do not get along with is even tougher. Your kids (and you) will have an easier time with custody transitions if you and your ex can communicate effectively. Make a Point to Spend Quality Time with Your Children Though you may have your kids a majority of the time or even the same amount of time as your ex, it is easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Making time for your children is extremely important after a divorce because now every moment you spend with them is more precious than ever. Focus on your children and make sure that they feel loved and accepted -- more than they ever have before. Hire an Aurora, IL Divorce Attorney to Help You Through Your Divorce

Divorces can be confusing and messy, both of which are not traits you want to associate with your new life. Whether you are just starting to think about a divorce, you want to begin the divorce process or you are in the middle of the divorce process, at the Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C., we can help you with all aspects of the divorce. Keeping New Year’s resolutions can be tough, but with help from our knowledgeable DuPage County divorce lawyers, sticking to your resolutions will be a breeze. Call our office today at 630-409-8184 to set up a consultation.

 

Sources:

http://www.homeafterdivorce.com/post-divorce-new-years-resolutions/

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Posted on in Divorce

Illinois divorce attorney, Illinois family lawyer, life after divorce,Unsurprisingly, for many people, divorce is very difficult. Not only are you ending your legal relationship with your spouse, but you are also ending a very deep romantic relationship. Many people having feelings of anger, despair, hopelessness or even depression after a divorce. One of the most important and healthiest things you can do after you have gotten a divorce is set your sights on all of the positive aspects of getting a divorce -- and yes, there are positives to this situation. Here are four things you can look forward to after a divorce:

You Have Free Time -- And It Is Yours

After a divorce, you will be single again -- and that means that you will have the schedule of a single person again. You can do whatever you want, whenever you want and you do not have to worry about upsetting or ignoring another person. You can start making time for activities that you like to do, without having to worry about the wants of another person.

You Have the Opportunity to Become a Better Parent

Divorce can be difficult for children, but in the long run, it will make everyone happier and healthier. A divorce can bring many positive effects to your children, especially without all of the constant fighting and tension. You also have the chance to focus solely on being the best parent you can be to your children.

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Illinois divorce attorney, Illinois family lawyer, life after divorce,No matter the length of the marriage and no matter the circumstances of the split, a divorce is always a difficult life event to get through. Even the most steadfast and strong person can experience the challenges that a divorce brings. Because of the all-encompassing nature of divorce, it can feel like your entire life is falling apart, especially right after your divorce is finalized. While you are most likely experiencing major changes after your divorce, it is important to realize that these changes are only temporarily distressing and with time, you will become happier and healthier. Here are a few tips as to how you can move on after your divorce:

Learn to Let Go of Your Negative Emotions

Though it will be difficult, you cannot health without first learning to let go of all of the negativity and stress that you have built up throughout your marriage and divorce. You may be experiencing feelings of anger, sadness, hopelessness or despair, but they will do nothing but damage for you. You must learn to look past those emotions and understand that they do go away with time.

Rediscover Yourself and Your Interests

Often, people who get divorced -- especially if they have been married for quite a while -- find that they no longer partake in activities that they enjoy or that they are a different person than they want to be. Post-divorce is a perfect time to rediscover yourself and truly look at making yourself into the person that you want to be. It is also a good time to rediscover your likes, interests, and hobbies, which can also put you in a better position to focus on the positive rather than the negative.

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Illinois divorce attorney, Illinois family lawyer, life after divorce,No matter the situation, getting a divorce is a big life change. Even if you were only married for a couple of years, getting divorced changes almost everything about your life. Though you may feel that you are ready for a divorce (and you probably are) you may not exactly be prepared for what is to come. There are certain things that you do not expect to experience when you get divorced and there are things that may not have even crossed your mind before. Everyone has different circumstances when it comes to divorce and everyone will experience the divorce differently, but there are a few things you should know about life after divorce. Even if you are the one who initiated the divorce, you will probably still feel a sense of loss. Even though divorce is the legal process of separating yourself from your spouse, it is also very much an emotional process. Many people underestimate just how much of a transition a divorce really is. You are changing everything from your living situation to your financial situation - it is understandable for you to feel things like loss, sadness, grief, and disappointment. These are all emotions many people experience in their life after divorce. If you have children, you do not get to ignore your ex. Just because you are getting divorced does not mean that you get to part ways and never see your ex again, especially if you have children. You and your spouse will forever be linked by your children and that is something you must come to terms with. Even when your children are grown adults and no longer are under you or your spouse’s care, you will still have that link. Divorce might affect your children in ways that are apparent through their behaviors. There is no one way that divorce will affect your children. Just like adults, all children are different and all children will have different reactions to a divorce. Your kids will not always tell you that the divorce is bothering them or that they have certain feelings about the stress a divorce can bring. Sometimes, your children’s behaviors will be the telltale signs that the stress is getting to them.

Holidays will be difficult for years to come.

No matter what holidays you celebrate, holidays mean family. When you are going through a divorce, your family situation is changing and many people who you were accustomed to seeing you will not see again. Holidays can be difficult for anyone, but they can be particularly difficult for those who are divorced. If you have children, chances are you will not be able to spend every holiday every year with them. An experienced Aurora, IL divorce lawyer can be extremely beneficial during the divorce process.

Divorce is a complicated process that requires the expertise of someone who knows what they are doing. The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C. has been representing spouses in divorce proceedings for over 15 years. Our experienced DuPage County divorce attorneys can guide you through every step of the divorce process and help you come to an agreement that your whole family can benefit from. Call our office today at 630-409-8184 to set up a consultation.

 

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divorceThough you never planned for it, a divorce can be one of the biggest events in your life. You are changing your entire life when you divorce, from where you live to which bank account you use. A divorce is very much a legal process, but it is also more than that - it is an emotional process that you must go through as well. Emotional coping is very important when you are going through a divorce and is essential to your mental health once you have completed the legal aspect of divorce. Here are some ways to help you cope with the wild emotions that divorce can bring:

Allow Yourself to Grieve

Though divorce is a legal process, it is just as much an emotional one. It is only natural to grieve the loss of your relationship when you are going through a divorce, and to prevent yourself from grieving will only prolong the process. Allowing yourself to go through the stages of grief is a healthy coping mechanism that will enable you to move on with your life.

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Illinois divorce attorney, Illinois family lawyer, Illinois child custody lawyer,Traditionally, divorce has been frowned upon, especially if a couple has children. It was thought that children were better off growing up in a family where their parents were married. But staying in an unhappy marriage can mean a life of misery for you and can actually be detrimental to your children. Though “staying together for the kids” was once seen as an act of decency, it is now seen as an act of ignorance because children pick up on familial tension far more than some adults realize. That tension can manifest itself in many different ways in children, none of them being favorable. Here are four ways staying in a bad marriage could affect your children:

Chronic Stress

Sure, your kids might not know exactly why you and your spouse are fighting, but they can pick up on the tension that the fighting creates, which can lead to stress. Children look up to both of their parents and when they are both fighting constantly, they feel tense around them, rather than relaxed. Chronic stress can lead to problems such as depression and chronic fatigue.

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Illinois divorce attorney, Illinois family lawyer, Illinois child support lawyer,For many people, divorce is one of the most emotionally demanding and stressful situations they will go through. Not only do you have to deal with the long and demanding legal divorce process, but you also have to figure out how to cope with the fact that you are ending a major relationship in your life, which can bring about a myriad of emotions. In order to come out of the divorce right side up, you have to figure out how to cope with these emotions and work your way through this emotional process.

Allow Yourself to Grieve the Loss of the Relationship

If you are going through a divorce, one feeling you will probably come across is grief. Grief is a natural response to the loss of something, in this situation, the loss of your relationship. It is important that you allow yourself to feel the emotions that come with grief, such as anger, sadness, fear, and confusion. The sooner you can emotionally accept that the relationship is over, the sooner you can begin your process of self-healing.

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Illinois divorce attorney, Illinois family lawyer, Illinois child support lawyer,Divorcing with children is not uncommon--anywhere from 40 to 50 percent of divorcing couples have at least one child under the age of 18. Divorcing with children adds an extra layer of complexity to divorces--you have to think about who the child will live with, what the parenting arrangements will be, how you will share the cost of raising a child and more. Children all react to divorce differently and some can have a difficult time coping with the separation of their parents. Here are five ways you can help your child through your divorce:

Be Honest

There is no reason that you should try to hide your divorce from your children. They are very perceptive and can probably tell that something is wrong, even if you do not tell them. It is best for everyone if you tell your children that you are getting a divorce in a straightforward manner and in a way they can understand.

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Posted on in Divorce

Illinois divorce attorney, Illinois family lawyer, Illinois child custody lawyer, attorney fees,There are a lot of things to think about when you get a divorce. There is the house, the kids, your bank accounts—you name it. When you get a divorce, your lawyers write up what is called a divorce settlement, a legal document that lays out all the terms of your marriage, who is allocated which property, how parental responsibilities are allocated and the terms of child support or spousal maintenance, if it is required.

All of these things can be difficult to negotiate and can leave you worrying if you are getting what you deserve. All of this worry turns into stress and when you are stressed, you are not yourself. Even though divorce can be tolling, it is important for you to remember to stay as calm as possible. Here are five tips to reduce stress during your divorce. Identify Your Stress Triggers Even though stress is a very predictable side effect of divorce, it is not healthy for you. Not only can it take a toll on your emotional health, your physical health is also at risk. Once you identify what the causes of your stress are, you can take steps to eliminate them or reduce their effect on you. Keep Up With Your Health During a divorce, you can forget to take care of yourself while you are wrapped up in other matters. Eating lots of healthy fruits and vegetables and making sure you are drinking plenty of water is a good way to help yourself feel physically well. It is also important that you get plenty of sleep and you exercise a few times a week. If you feel good physically, it will help you feel good emotionally. Talk with Others Keeping in touch with friends or family during your divorce is important--they can offer you the moral support that you need during this time in your life. This is also the time for you to cut toxic people out of your life so that you can be surrounded with positivity. Seeing a professional is also always an option if you feel you would benefit from sharing your thoughts with one. This can be a good way to vent about the stressors in your life. Set Realistic Expectations It is only natural and healthy that you set goals for yourself, but it is also important to remember that you should set these goals with your specific situation in mind. You should try to remember that you need to set realistic expectations for yourself and others in your life during your divorce. Setting unrealistic expectations can be a major source of stress if you do not accomplish what you hope to get done in the time that you wanted. Contact an Aurora Divorce Lawyer

It is not a secret--divorce is stressful. You are going through one of the most difficult times in your life and a lot of things in your future are uncertain. Even though divorce can be stressful by nature, it does not have to be. With the help of an experienced DuPage County divorce attorney, you can get the peace of mind that you need. Contact the Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C. to discuss your situation and easily move forward with your divorce. Call 630-409-8184 to schedule a consultation.

 

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Illinois custody attorney, Illinois family law attorney, Illinois divorce lawyer,When young people decide to get married they often face a variety of outside opinions and attitudes about their decision. The same is true for when that marriage ends and the couple, both of whom are still very young, decide to get divorced. It is no less difficult just because they are still young.

Young Couples and Divorce

Divorce, regardless of the age of the spouses or number of years of marriage, features some very common issues. However, those who divorce at a young age and after only a few years together frequently encounter a number of issues unique to their situation.

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end-marriageThere are a lot of people out there who claim to be experts on a wide variety of matters. The truth is that more times than not, the most knowledgeable person on any issue is the one who has lived the experience. This holds for divorce, as there are certain things about ending your marriage and living as a divorced adult that only those who preceded you really understand.

Been There, Done That

It is no secret that even just considering a divorce is something that weighs heavily on one’s mind, as the lasting implications affect more than just the married couple and more than just the immediate household. Here is a list of issues that come with a divorce, from those who went through the process:

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Posted on in Child Custody

Illinois custody attorney, Illinois family law attorney, Illinois divorce lawyer,Honest and open communication is an important tool in any relationship. When it comes to breaking the news about an impending divorce, good communication skills will come in handy. This is especially true when it comes time to telling your children that you and your spouse are divorcing, and the subject of child custody becomes a reality.

Breaking the News

Just as many adults are affected by the news of divorce, children frequently take the news quite hard. The range of emotions, from anger to guilt, can impact many other areas of their young lives. Here are a few thoughts on the subject that may just help you break the news while easing the pain your children feel, even if just a little bit:

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Posted on in Divorce
Illinois divorce attorney, Illinois family law attorney, Illinois divorce laws,After making the decision to end your marriage, the decision on how best to break the news of a divorce to children, family and friends can weigh heavily on a person. In a time like this, one is hopeful that their announcement will be met with understanding and support, but you can expect to hear your share of blame and judgements.

Telling Family and Friends

Informing the people closest to you may require different strategies in order to present a clear message about the impending divorce.

Children: Be gentle when telling the children. Although children can be quite intuitive, they are also quite sensitive. Do not wait to tell them, and reassure them it is not their fault and they are still loved. Following up your words with the actions to back them up is very important.

Parents and In-laws: Adults, especially those who may have experienced a bad relationship, may pick up on the signs or other vibes that your marriage is in trouble. Perhaps consider prepping them with some hints so the news, even though they may already suspect, does not hit them like a bombshell.

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The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C.

630-409-8184

1444 North Farnsworth Avenue, Suite 307, Aurora, IL 60505

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