The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C.


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Whether you finally made the decision to leave your spouse, or you are in the middle of your divorce, you may find yourself immersed in a sea of emotions. Even divorces in which you and your spouse are on the same page can be stressful. All of the major life changes that divorce brings can also cause a lot of emotional, mental, and even physical distress. It is important to consider how you can best manage your stress both in the current moment and in the future. Below are a few practical ways to handle the rollercoaster of emotions during divorce:

Give Yourself Permission to Acknowledge Your Feelings

It is entirely normal to feel a range of emotions after you have made the decision to get a divorce. After all, you and your spouse did vow to spend the rest of your lives together at one point. It is important to understand that it is okay to feel sad, angry, depressed, bitter, scared, and even relieved or excited at some points. Allowing yourself to acknowledge and express these emotions is a step toward moving on with the next chapter of your life.


Illinois divorce attorney, Illinois family lawyer,Whether you are just starting the divorce process or you are in the middle of a months-long divorce, it’s no secret that it can be hard on everyone. For many people, the only information they have about divorce is what they have heard from family or friends who have gone through it, or what they have seen on TV or in movies. Divorce brings with it a slew of uncertainties that even the most planned out divorces can bring. The divorce process is different for everyone, but here are a few things you may not know about divorce: You Will Probably Experience the Grief Process Losing a relationship from your life is a lot like losing a person from your life. Many people going through a divorce find that the healing process is very similar to that of the grieving process -- though it is not so much of a surprise. It is only natural for you to grieve the loss of your relationship, but going through the grief process can help you move on with your life. Your Children Will Definitely Be Affected Many divorcing parents wonder if their divorce will affect their children. While the perfect answer would be no, the divorce will almost certainly affect your children, even younger ones. There is no way to tell how a child will react to news of a divorce, but as a parent, it is your job to make sure your child develops healthy coping mechanisms. A divorce does not mean your child will be emotionally scarred for life -- most children are usually happier after. It is Going to Cost You Money It has been said that the average wedding these days costs anywhere from $20,000 to $30,000. Sadly, you could end up spending that much on divorce, too. While there is no “average” cost for a divorce, they can become costly very quickly. The total cost of a divorce will depend on the type of divorce you are getting, where your life if you are using an attorney and how amicable you and your spouse are. All Divorces Were Not Created Equally Many people think the only way to get a divorce is to hire attorneys and fight it over in court. In reality, there are a handful of ways you can go about getting a divorce. You could go with a traditional litigated divorce, a mediated divorce, a collaborative divorce or even a do-it-yourself divorce. Each type has its own advantages and disadvantages, so it can be worth it to do your research before you begin the process. Consult with a Knowledgeable DuPage County Divorce Lawyer

Although divorce may feel like the end of the world, it is not. All divorces are different, but one thing you can do to make sure you have a successful divorce is to hire a skilled Yorkville divorce attorney. Contact the Law Offices of Matthew M. Williams, P.C. today to discover how we can help you finalize your divorce and allow you to move on with your life. Call our office today at 630-409-8184 to schedule a consultation.



Posted on in Divorce and Holidays

life-divorceMost people have a love or hate relationship with Valentine’s Day. Some people cherish the thought of pink and red hearts, chocolates and flowers. Other people loathe the insincerity of giving presents on a random day to declare your love. For those who are going through a divorce or have recently finalized their divorce, Valentine’s Day can be a giant reminder that you no longer have a significant other. While this can be depressing to some people, you should not let it get you down. Here are five ways you can survive your first Valentine’s Day as a single (or almost single) person:

Do Not Spend the Day Alone

It will help no one if you stay at home and wallow in your sadness all day. Call your friends, spend time with family, volunteer at a homeless shelter or nursing home -- the idea is to surround yourself with people on Valentine’s Day so you do not feel so alone.


Illinois divorce attorney, Illinois family lawyer, life after divorce,No matter the length of the marriage and no matter the circumstances of the split, a divorce is always a difficult life event to get through. Even the most steadfast and strong person can experience the challenges that a divorce brings. Because of the all-encompassing nature of divorce, it can feel like your entire life is falling apart, especially right after your divorce is finalized. While you are most likely experiencing major changes after your divorce, it is important to realize that these changes are only temporarily distressing and with time, you will become happier and healthier. Here are a few tips as to how you can move on after your divorce:

Learn to Let Go of Your Negative Emotions

Though it will be difficult, you cannot health without first learning to let go of all of the negativity and stress that you have built up throughout your marriage and divorce. You may be experiencing feelings of anger, sadness, hopelessness or despair, but they will do nothing but damage for you. You must learn to look past those emotions and understand that they do go away with time.

Rediscover Yourself and Your Interests

Often, people who get divorced -- especially if they have been married for quite a while -- find that they no longer partake in activities that they enjoy or that they are a different person than they want to be. Post-divorce is a perfect time to rediscover yourself and truly look at making yourself into the person that you want to be. It is also a good time to rediscover your likes, interests, and hobbies, which can also put you in a better position to focus on the positive rather than the negative.


divorceThough you never planned for it, a divorce can be one of the biggest events in your life. You are changing your entire life when you divorce, from where you live to which bank account you use. A divorce is very much a legal process, but it is also more than that - it is an emotional process that you must go through as well. Emotional coping is very important when you are going through a divorce and is essential to your mental health once you have completed the legal aspect of divorce. Here are some ways to help you cope with the wild emotions that divorce can bring:

Allow Yourself to Grieve

Though divorce is a legal process, it is just as much an emotional one. It is only natural to grieve the loss of your relationship when you are going through a divorce, and to prevent yourself from grieving will only prolong the process. Allowing yourself to go through the stages of grief is a healthy coping mechanism that will enable you to move on with your life.

Take Care of Yourself

It is important that you take care of yourself during this trying time. Practicing self-care is not only good for your physical wellbeing but also your emotional wellbeing - if you feel good physically, it will be easier for you to feel good mentally and emotionally and gives you something to focus on, rather than lingering on your pain. If you do not already have an exercise routine, start dedicating a little bit of time each week to work out. Make sure you are eating well and staying hydrated, as well as getting plenty of sleep each night.


Illinois divorce attorney, Illinois family lawyer, Illinois child custody lawyer,Traditionally, divorce has been frowned upon, especially if a couple has children. It was thought that children were better off growing up in a family where their parents were married. But staying in an unhappy marriage can mean a life of misery for you and can actually be detrimental to your children. Though “staying together for the kids” was once seen as an act of decency, it is now seen as an act of ignorance because children pick up on familial tension far more than some adults realize. That tension can manifest itself in many different ways in children, none of them being favorable. Here are four ways staying in a bad marriage could affect your children:

Chronic Stress

Sure, your kids might not know exactly why you and your spouse are fighting, but they can pick up on the tension that the fighting creates, which can lead to stress. Children look up to both of their parents and when they are both fighting constantly, they feel tense around them, rather than relaxed. Chronic stress can lead to problems such as depression and chronic fatigue.


Illinois divorce attorney, Illinois family lawyer, Illinois child support lawyer,For many people, divorce is one of the most emotionally demanding and stressful situations they will go through. Not only do you have to deal with the long and demanding legal divorce process, but you also have to figure out how to cope with the fact that you are ending a major relationship in your life, which can bring about a myriad of emotions. In order to come out of the divorce right side up, you have to figure out how to cope with these emotions and work your way through this emotional process.

Allow Yourself to Grieve the Loss of the Relationship

If you are going through a divorce, one feeling you will probably come across is grief. Grief is a natural response to the loss of something, in this situation, the loss of your relationship. It is important that you allow yourself to feel the emotions that come with grief, such as anger, sadness, fear, and confusion. The sooner you can emotionally accept that the relationship is over, the sooner you can begin your process of self-healing.


Illinois divorce attorney, Illinois family lawyer, Illinois child support lawyer,Divorcing with children is not uncommon--anywhere from 40 to 50 percent of divorcing couples have at least one child under the age of 18. Divorcing with children adds an extra layer of complexity to divorces--you have to think about who the child will live with, what the parenting arrangements will be, how you will share the cost of raising a child and more. Children all react to divorce differently and some can have a difficult time coping with the separation of their parents. Here are five ways you can help your child through your divorce:

Be Honest

There is no reason that you should try to hide your divorce from your children. They are very perceptive and can probably tell that something is wrong, even if you do not tell them. It is best for everyone if you tell your children that you are getting a divorce in a straightforward manner and in a way they can understand.


Posted on in Divorce

Illinois divorce attorney, Illinois family lawyer, Illinois child custody lawyer, attorney fees,There are a lot of things to think about when you get a divorce. There is the house, the kids, your bank accounts—you name it. When you get a divorce, your lawyers write up what is called a divorce settlement, a legal document that lays out all the terms of your marriage, who is allocated which property, how parental responsibilities are allocated and the terms of child support or spousal maintenance, if it is required.

All of these things can be difficult to negotiate and can leave you worrying if you are getting what you deserve. All of this worry turns into stress and when you are stressed, you are not yourself. Even though divorce can be tolling, it is important for you to remember to stay as calm as possible. Here are five tips to reduce stress during your divorce. Identify Your Stress Triggers Even though stress is a very predictable side effect of divorce, it is not healthy for you. Not only can it take a toll on your emotional health, your physical health is also at risk. Once you identify what the causes of your stress are, you can take steps to eliminate them or reduce their effect on you. Keep Up With Your Health During a divorce, you can forget to take care of yourself while you are wrapped up in other matters. Eating lots of healthy fruits and vegetables and making sure you are drinking plenty of water is a good way to help yourself feel physically well. It is also important that you get plenty of sleep and you exercise a few times a week. If you feel good physically, it will help you feel good emotionally. Talk with Others Keeping in touch with friends or family during your divorce is important--they can offer you the moral support that you need during this time in your life. This is also the time for you to cut toxic people out of your life so that you can be surrounded with positivity. Seeing a professional is also always an option if you feel you would benefit from sharing your thoughts with one. This can be a good way to vent about the stressors in your life. Set Realistic Expectations It is only natural and healthy that you set goals for yourself, but it is also important to remember that you should set these goals with your specific situation in mind. You should try to remember that you need to set realistic expectations for yourself and others in your life during your divorce. Setting unrealistic expectations can be a major source of stress if you do not accomplish what you hope to get done in the time that you wanted. Contact an Aurora Divorce Lawyer

It is not a secret--divorce is stressful. You are going through one of the most difficult times in your life and a lot of things in your future are uncertain. Even though divorce can be stressful by nature, it does not have to be. With the help of an experienced DuPage County divorce attorney, you can get the peace of mind that you need. Contact the Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C. to discuss your situation and easily move forward with your divorce. Call 630-409-8184 to schedule a consultation.




Illinois custody attorney, Illinois family law attorney, Illinois divorce lawyer,When young people decide to get married they often face a variety of outside opinions and attitudes about their decision. The same is true for when that marriage ends and the couple, both of whom are still very young, decide to get divorced. It is no less difficult just because they are still young.

Young Couples and Divorce

Divorce, regardless of the age of the spouses or number of years of marriage, features some very common issues. However, those who divorce at a young age and after only a few years together frequently encounter a number of issues unique to their situation.


end-marriageThere are a lot of people out there who claim to be experts on a wide variety of matters. The truth is that more times than not, the most knowledgeable person on any issue is the one who has lived the experience. This holds for divorce, as there are certain things about ending your marriage and living as a divorced adult that only those who preceded you really understand.

Been There, Done That

It is no secret that even just considering a divorce is something that weighs heavily on one’s mind, as the lasting implications affect more than just the married couple and more than just the immediate household. Here is a list of issues that come with a divorce, from those who went through the process:


Posted on in Child Custody

Illinois custody attorney, Illinois family law attorney, Illinois divorce lawyer,Honest and open communication is an important tool in any relationship. When it comes to breaking the news about an impending divorce, good communication skills will come in handy. This is especially true when it comes time to telling your children that you and your spouse are divorcing, and the subject of child custody becomes a reality.

Breaking the News

Just as many adults are affected by the news of divorce, children frequently take the news quite hard. The range of emotions, from anger to guilt, can impact many other areas of their young lives. Here are a few thoughts on the subject that may just help you break the news while easing the pain your children feel, even if just a little bit:


Posted on in Divorce
Illinois divorce attorney, Illinois family law attorney, Illinois divorce laws,After making the decision to end your marriage, the decision on how best to break the news of a divorce to children, family and friends can weigh heavily on a person. In a time like this, one is hopeful that their announcement will be met with understanding and support, but you can expect to hear your share of blame and judgements.

Telling Family and Friends

Informing the people closest to you may require different strategies in order to present a clear message about the impending divorce.

Children: Be gentle when telling the children. Although children can be quite intuitive, they are also quite sensitive. Do not wait to tell them, and reassure them it is not their fault and they are still loved. Following up your words with the actions to back them up is very important.

Parents and In-laws: Adults, especially those who may have experienced a bad relationship, may pick up on the signs or other vibes that your marriage is in trouble. Perhaps consider prepping them with some hints so the news, even though they may already suspect, does not hit them like a bombshell.


Posted on in Life After Divorce

Illinois custody attorney, Illinois family law attorney, Illinois divorce lawyer,In addition to the financial repercussions of divorce, the emotional toll felt by both adults and children during and following the end of a marriage often has the power to develop into something quite harmful. In fact, many professionals urge greater awareness for and detection of the signs of clinical depression among those who go through a divorce.

Teens and Divorce

The impact of divorce on a teen can have a number of negative effects, ranging from feelings of abandonment to blaming themselves for the split of their parents. Some professionals make the analogy of a puzzle with missing parts, now the picture of the family the teen has known their whole life is suddenly incomplete. This can lead to confusion and sadness that, if left untreated, has the ability to develop into something quite harmful.


Illinois custody attorney, Illinois family law attorney, Illinois divorce lawyer,Married couples have a lifetime of happy memories from their time together. Divorced couples may have shared some good times together, but when a divorce appears on the horizon the good times often fade and one’s thoughts can be dominated by the memories that led up to or caused the divorce. Sometimes the weight of those bad memories can create problems that affect other areas of one’s life.

Coping Strategies

For people who feel overwhelmed by the bad memories of a failed marriage, simply telling oneself to stop dwelling on the past is not enough. Whether it is self-guilt over the divorce or the memories of words and actions by the ex-spouse, it can require more than willpower to stop reliving the past. Although not a complete list of strategies, the following are some tips that may help.


Posted on in Life After Divorce
Illinois custody attorney, Illinois family law attorney, Illinois divorce lawyer,When married couples divorce it is not uncommon for possessions accumulated during the marriage to become subject to division. In addition to cars, homes, accumulated wealth and even time with children, it may happen that even the friends you had during your marriage may suddenly no longer answer your phone calls.

Time for New Social Circles

Even those people who you thought were your best friends may no longer have time for you, or perhaps even took the side of your ex-spouse following a divorce. While that can be unsettling, this time in your life can become an opportunity for finding and making new friends. This will not always be easy, especially if your former spouse was the one in the relationship who initiated the friendships you maintained as a couple. However, now you have the chance to surround yourself with the type of people with whom you truly enjoy spending time.
  • Take time to determine what it is you want to get out of a new friendship. Since you no longer have a spouse to consider, there may be an opportunity to get to know people with whom your ex-spouse might not have otherwise associated.
  • Go to new places. Try new things. If you always wanted to join a gym then do it. Go to clubs and listen to music, or visit museums if that is what you like. It is at these kinds of place you may meet others who share your interests and could become your new friends.
  • Do not immediately discount old friends. Some may take awhile to come around, and some who you thought were long gone may suddenly reappear.
  • Along those same lines, take time to seek out old friends who you just drifted apart from over time and for no particular reason. Who knows, they may be just as happy to hear from you.
  • Divorce does not have to be the common link between you and your new friends, but it does happen. Support groups and other divorced-singles organizations offer great opportunity to meet others with whom you share something in common.
Once you learn to exert your independence, making new friends will become easier.

Retain a Knowledgeable Illinois Divorce Attorney

Going through a divorce is stressful and emotional. For those reasons, and many others that include the complexities of Illinois divorce law, it is important to find an experienced and knowledgeable DuPage County divorce lawyer who can represent your interests. The Law Offices of Matthew M. Williams, P.C. provide thorough review of your divorce case in an effort to ensure you receive everything to which you are entitled. Call their offices today to schedule an initial consultation.


Posted on in Life After Divorce

divorce-adviceWhen considering a divorce, or while you are going through this highly emotional and stressful experience, perhaps the last thing anyone wants to hear is a lot of advice about how to handle the whole process. A divorce is a very personal matter. It would be rare that any two divorces are exactly alike, so it is unlikely that advice from one will fit the needs of another.

Do What is Best for You

No one knows or understands your marriage experience better than you, so applying the advice of others to a very personal matter, such as a divorce, may prove to be quite counterproductive. Here is a sample of some advice that might be right for some, but could be considered quite bad depending on an individual’s circumstances. If you hear this advice from friends or family, proceed with caution.


Posted on in Life After Divorce

Illinois custody attorney, Illinois family law attorney, Illinois divorce lawyer,When going through or dealing with the aftermath of a divorce those affected may attempt to keep the other segments of their life as normal as possible. In many cases, this means trying to prevent the emotion and anxiety of the divorce from seeping into and impacting one’s work. It is not always easy, but maintaining a steady and consistent work environment can help a person get through their divorce.

Getting Through the Work Day

The stress of your marriage breaking up can have a negative effect on your work performance. You can do everything in your power to keep things on an even keel, but here are a few ideas to help you maintain good productivity at work.


Posted on in Life After Divorce

Illinois custody attorney, Illinois family law attorney, Illinois divorce lawyer,When something you thought would last forever suddenly ends it is not uncommon to feel a sense of loss or even fall into depression. Divorce can be like that. Even if you saw knew a divorce was coming, when it is all over the experience can still exact an emotional toll.

The Stages of Loss

Not unlike the stages one might experience dealing with the death of a loved one, the stages an individual can go through following a divorce are no less real. You may not necessarily experience all five, but knowing what to expect can help you cope:


Posted on in Life After Divorce

Illinois custody attorney, Illinois family law attorney, Illinois divorce lawyer,It is not uncommon for those who just experienced the emotional and mental stress of a divorce to feel a little distrustful and jaded. After all, that union that was supposed to last a lifetime ended, for whatever reason, prematurely and now you are left to rebuild what is left of your life. Well, there is plenty of evidence to suggest that there is life after a divorce.

The Recovery Process

Much like a person dealing with the death of a loved one, there is a process for those emerging from a divorce. Consider applying these tips to your post-divorce life to help you move on to a new phase in your life.

The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C.


1444 North Farnsworth Avenue, Suite 307, Aurora, IL 60505

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