Posted on February 10, 2017 in Gray Divorce

Over the last several decades, the phenomenon of gray divorce or the divorce of couples consisting of partners aged 50 and over has been on the rise. More than two-thirds of these types of divorces are initiated by the wife, and in at least one survey, over half of the women who responded said that they initiated the divorce due to spousal abuse. In most cases, the divorce was the result of emotional abuse.

In an emotionally abusive marriage, one spouse manipulates the other using methods such as criticism, intimidation, or bullying. The victim can do "nothing right," and the cycle of abuse continues. This type of abuse is often present at the beginning of the relationship, but is usually concealed as love, concern, or even humor. It often takes years—sometimes many years—for victims to realize they are being abused, if they realize it at all.

Warning Signs of an Abusive Marriage

One of the most obvious red flags of an emotionally abusive relationship is a lack of autonomy for one spouse. When this is the case, one spouse has too much control over the other. In cases where women are the victims, the woman must watch what she says, wears, or does out of fear of reprisal. Her spouse may have specific rules—often inconsistent—that she must follow or there will be conflict. Although it takes time, many women finally realize they are in an abusive marriage, and a percentage of such women find the strength to end their marriages.

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 Posted on December 23, 2016 in Domestic Violence

There are many reasons why a dissolution of marriage becomes necessary. Spouses grow apart, partners fall out of love, and individuals change their life goals. Occasionally, divorce becomes necessary for safety reasons if one spouse is abusive. Although Illinois is a no-fault state and anyone can divorce, it is important to understand how domestic abuse in a marriage can affect the outcome of the divorce proceedings.

Married Without Children

Any type of abuse that occurs between romantic partners or spouses is considered domestic violence or abuse. The law defines domestic abuse as:

• Physically harming or attempting to hurt someone, either intentionally or recklessly;
• Sexual assault;
• Creation of the reasonable fear of imminent harm;
• Behavior such as harassing, stalking, threatening, or unwanted touching;
• Disturbing the peace at home; and

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 Posted on November 04, 2016 in Child Custody

If you are a divorced, separated, or unmarried parent, holidays can present a number of rather unique challenges. In most families, holidays are a time for getting together with loved ones, many of whom who have not seen one another in some time—possibly since the same holiday last year. Of course, parents want their children to be part of the festivities and to visit with family members who may have traveled a great distance for the occasion. If you are subject to a shared parenting agreement, however, it may take some negotiation to figure out where your children will be spending the holidays.

Do Not Wait

While November may have only just started, Thanksgiving is less than three weeks away. This means that you and your child’s other parent should not delay in making plans regarding your holiday parenting time. The first thing you should do, however, is to check your existing parenting plan document, as many such plans contain a holiday parenting time schedule created years in advance to reduce confusion. If your plan does not include a holiday schedule or provides that you will negotiate a reasonable agreement each year, it is time to start preparing for winter holidays.

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 Posted on November 02, 2016 in Child Custody

There are many scenarios that could lead to you having significantly less parenting time with your child than the other parent. Perhaps you were not married when your child was born and the court granted the other parent all of the decision-making responsibilities for the child and most of the parenting time. Or, maybe at the time of your divorce, you had serious issues with anger or showed signs of alcohol abuse, leading the court to limit the danger to your child. Whatever the reason may be, if you have precious little time with your child, you want to make the most of it. If the other parent is making it difficult for you to exercise your right to parenting time, a qualified family lawyer can help.

Get Things in Writing

Being denied access to your child can incredibly frustrating, especially if it is being done out of spite or anger. A finding of danger by the court is one thing, but the unsanctioned actions of the other parent are not acceptable. The first thing you should do if your parenting time rights are being unfairly limited is to keep a record of all communication between you and the other parent. Using emails or text messages instead of phone calls or in-person conversations can provide the documentation you may need down the road. If you ask to see your child and the other parent refuses, document his or her response. Failure by the other parent to comply with your court-ordered parenting arrangement could result in serious consequences for him or her.

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 Posted on October 21, 2016 in Child Custody

The decision to file for divorce is always a difficult one, but the challenges are often magnified when the situation involves children. While issues like marital property and spousal support are certainly important, the future of your children and your parental rights should never take a back seat to more material concerns. The judge overseeing your divorce has authority under the law to issue orders regarding your children, but the process should begin with the two people who know your children the best: you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse.

Statutory Encouragement

The Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act presumes that divorcing parents will have an interest in developing a parenting plan that fits their individual circumstances and serves the best interests of their children. Therefore, divorcing parents are expected to draft and submit a proposed arrangement to the court. Each parent may draft a separate plan or the parents can work together on a single proposal. If the parents submit a jointly-drafted plan, the court must review it to be sure that it is reasonable and that the child’s interests are fully protected.

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 Posted on July 08, 2016 in Child Custody

When a couple with children breaks up or gets divorced, it is often the children who get caught in the middle. Along with the other considerations inherent to the proceedings, the divorcing parents are faced with deciding how to divide parental responsibilities and parenting time. This concept used to be known as child custody in Illinois, but changes to the law have updated the language being used by the courts. Regardless of what it may be called, determining who will be responsible for your child and where he or she will live are serious concerns with many factors to be considered. Some people may be surprised to learn that the child’s wishes are, by law, expected to be part of the equation.

What the Law Says

According to the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act, a child does have some say in how parental responsibilities and parenting time are allocated by the courts. The court, however, will not base its decision solely on the child’s wishes; they are a part of the bigger picture. Other factors, as one might expect, include each parent’s ability and willingness to provide for the child, allegations or history of abuse, and the relationship each parent has with the child.

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 Posted on June 08, 2016 in Child Custody

If you are divorced or separated from your child’s other parent, you may face a number of challenges related to exercising your parental rights. It is often difficult for couples who have gone their separate ways to see eye-to-eye regarding their children, but that does not mean one parent is any less important than the other. Under Illinois law, you have a number of legal rights involving your child that cannot be taken from you without due process.

Parental Responsibilities

The Illinois legislature recently overhauled the understanding of child custody in the state, refocusing the law on the allocation of parental responsibilities rather than statuses and titles. Parents are no longer awarded sole or joint custody, and neither party assumes the title of custodial or non-custodial parent. Instead, each parent is assigned authority for specific responsibilities, which are divided into two primary considerations. The first is significant decision-making regarding the child, which includes education, health care, religious training, and extracurricular activities. The other involves each parent’s allocated parenting time, previously called visitation.

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 Posted on May 13, 2016 in Child Custody

The FBI believes that most of the thousands of children who go missing every year are abducted by a parent, usually a parent who has not been granted primary custodial responsibilities. In a significant number of these cases, authorities believe that the abducting parent had help from a third party.

Faye Yager, who founded Children of the Underground in 1987, freely admits that her organization is one of these third parties. During its heyday in the early 1990s, the group stole names from the birth certificates of dead people, advised runaway parents and their children to "leave everything behind," and concealed them in one of an estimated 1,000 safe houses. These parents (mostly women) were on the run from allegedly abusive current and former partners (mostly men) and the courts that supposedly turned a blind eye to their plights. The movement lost steam in 1998, when Ms. Yager faced 60 years in prison for alleged child kidnapping and child cruelty; the charges were eventually dropped when the children at issue returned to their father.

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 Posted on April 06, 2016 in Child Custody

There is little question about the difficulty of parenting after a divorce, separation, or break-up. If you have been allocated significantly less parenting time than your child’s other parent, maintaining a meaningful relationship with your child can be even more challenging. But what happens if the other parent convinces the court to restrict or limit your parenting time even further? An experienced family law attorney can help you understand what recourse you may have, and work with you in taking the steps to restore your parental rights.

Grounds for the Restriction of Parenting Time

The governing principle of Illinois family law regarding children and parenting responsibilities is always to serve the child’s best interests. In doing so, the court begins with the presumption that active participation by both parents is best for the child, and, therefore, will allocate parenting time to each parent based on the family’s circumstances. Your parenting time cannot be restricted unless the other parent can show, by a preponderance of the evidence, that your behavior or lifestyle seriously endangers your child. These dangers can be to child’s mental, moral, or physical health, as well as to his or her emotional development.

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 Posted on March 25, 2016 in Divorce

Marriages end for all sorts of reasons, some financial, others behavior-based, and still others because of incompatible personalities. While divorce can provide a doorway to happier life, it is understandable that you may not want to put yourself at a disadvantage during the process itself. Whether the problem is genuine or just perceived does not really matter; if you feel a certain way, the impact on you is real enough. Many who are considering divorce often wonder if filing first makes any difference in the proceedings compared to waiting for their spouse to file. The answer to that question is fairly complex and depends on your specific circumstances.

No Legal Advantages

When you consider other areas of the law, such as criminal defense or personal injury, it is usually up to the filing party—the prosecutor or injured person—to prove his or her allegations. Of course, the burden of proof differs by the area of law, and may be shifted to the other party as the case proceeds, but, in general, the party who files has more responsibility and control over the suit. Divorce is unique in that there are no presumed roles or advantages for either party regardless of who files the petition for dissolution. You will each have the opportunity to make requests, file motions, prove your claims, dispute those of the other party, and otherwise be heard as equals throughout the proceedings.

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