The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C.

630-409-8184

1444 North Farnsworth Avenue, Suite 307, Aurora, IL 60505

Yorkville Office By Appointment

Initial Consultations via ZOOM Available

DuPage County high-conflict divorce attorneyFor some couples, the idea of a peaceful divorce is laughable. Divorce can bring out the worst in people and can cause them to do things and act in ways that are unlike themselves. In some situations, divorce can exacerbate a person’s behavior and cause him or her to become even more combative and argumentative, typically at no surprise to the soon-to-be ex-spouse. Emotions can get out of control during a divorce, making the entire process more difficult and stressful than it needs to be for everyone involved. If you know that your spouse will be combative during your divorce, there are a few things you can do to survive your high-conflict divorce:

Distance Yourself From Your Spouse

High-conflict people thrive off of arguments and getting a rise out of others. The best thing to do when you realize that your spouse is going to be antagonistic, manipulative, or argumentative during your divorce is to try to create as much distance between the two of you as possible. You should do this by minimizing contact with him or her unless you absolutely need to discuss an important matter. If you must communicate with each other, remember that it is not worth your time or effort to argue.

Record Everything You Can

A high-conflict spouse will often try to use your own words against you or manipulate you. If you have to talk with your spouse, you should try to do so via text or email. Both of those options give you the ability to have a transcript of exactly what was said during the conversation. If you have proof of what the exchange entailed, your spouse cannot twist it to benefit him or herself or try to lie about you saying something that you did not say.

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DuPage County parenting time lawyerMost parents will agree that the most important aspect of a divorce is making sure the children are okay. However, many parents worry about how a divorce will affect their children. Therefore, a lot of couples are currently in unhappy marriages in an attempt to spare their children the stress of divorce. It is important to remember that a divorce is the result of an unhealthy relationship between two spouses -- it has nothing to do with their children. While you cannot protect your children from all of the stresses and changes a divorce can cause, you can take steps to make sure your children are protected from the arguments and other negative effects that a divorce can trigger.

Take Care of Yourself

Although it may seem selfish, one of the best things you can do for your children during your divorce is to make sure you take care of yourself before you focus on them. A divorce can be traumatizing and can take its toll on you after a while. You should practice self-care by eating healthy foods, exercising, getting enough sleep, and talking to people in your support system. When you are emotionally stable, you are better able to guide your children through this major life transition.

Do Not Talk Negatively About Your Spouse

You should avoid criticizing or putting down your ex-spouse when your children can hear. Though you may have an issue with your former partner, your children do not. They deserve to have a relationship with both parents that is not clouded by negative opinions from one parent.

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DuPage County divorce litigation lawyerContrary to what many people think, there is more than one way to get a divorce. Traditionally, divorces have been negotiated and issues decided between the two spouses and their attorneys. Occasionally, the court system would be involved if the spouses could not come to an agreement on certain issues. In recent years, alternative forms of dispute resolution, such as mediation or collaborative law, have become popular ways of completing a divorce. While it is true that divorces are often less stressful and much less expensive if you choose one of those alternative forms of divorce, they are not for everyone. Mediation and collaboration may be preferable, but when is it necessary to skip over the niceties and head straight for litigation? Here are a few signs that indicate a litigated divorce could be your best option:

  1. You and Your Spouse Have Trouble Communicating

It is usually agreed upon by divorcing couples that either mediation or collaboration is ideal when it comes to divorce. Even many divorce lawyers will attest to the fact that mediated or collaborative divorces typically produce more satisfactory results. The thing to keep in mind is that those types of divorces are usually only successful if the spouses are in agreement about getting a divorce and they can communicate effectively with one another. If you cannot talk to your spouse without arguing, you may want to consider the litigated divorce option

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What Is Included in an Illinois Divorce Decree?

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DuPage County divorce decree attorneyMost people have heard of a divorce decree, but they may not know what it actually is. If you are going through a divorce, you probably know that getting your divorce decree is the last step in finalizing the process. There can be a lot of paperwork and forms involved in a divorce, but the divorce decree is perhaps the most important legal document of all. It is, therefore, best to have a skilled Illinois divorce lawyer guide you through the process to avoid any mistakes that could impact your future.

What Is a Divorce Decree?

A divorce decree is a legal document that formally declares and finalizes a divorce. The divorce decree contains information pertaining to the marital issues that have been decided on in the divorce. The contents of the divorce decree will vary depending on the couple, but most divorce decrees typically address the following topics:

DuPage County legal separation lawyerMaking the decision to get a divorce is often one of the most stressful periods in a person’s life. For many people, it can take months or even years to come to the conclusion that a divorce is the best option. During this time, many couples turn to legal separation to begin the process of ending their marriage before they become legally divorced. During the separation, financial issues can be confusing and daunting to manage. Planning ahead regarding your finances is essential to ensuring a smooth divorce process. If you are contemplating divorce and think a legal separation is the best first step, here are a few tips to help you manage your finances during this period of transition:

Create a New Budget For Yourself

One of the first things you should do when you become separated from your spouse is to figure out a new budget. Once you are divorced from your spouse, you will likely only be living off of one, rather than two, incomes. You should reconfigure a budget that allows you to live comfortably based on your new expenses and your own income.

Begin Separating Your Accounts

If you are married, chances are you and your spouse had at least one joint financial account. Many couples share checking accounts, savings accounts, credit cards, investment accounts, and even retirement accounts. While you are separated, you should begin the process of separating your accounts. Open your own personal checking and savings accounts and close any credit card accounts that do not currently carry a balance.

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The Law Office of Matthew M. Williams, P.C.

630-409-8184

1444 North Farnsworth Avenue, Suite 307, Aurora, IL 60505

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