Tips For What You Should and Should Not Do When Dating After a Divorce

Aurora, IL divorce attorneyA common saying is “When one door closes, another door opens.” This is true in most life events, even divorce. Although a divorce is the end of a marriage, it can also be a fresh start in life, providing the opportunity to find someone new and date again. The time between those doors can differ for everyone, but most people will eventually be open to another relationship after they divorce.

Dating again can be exciting, but it can also be stressful for your children. Depending on their age and level of maturity, they may or may not be able to understand why their parent has decided to start dating. Sometimes, new relationships can put stress on a family, but following the below guidelines can help you reduce anxiety and enjoy this next chapter in your life.

Do:

  • Talk with your ex before you introduce your partner to your children. Not only is this respectful, but it can also help keep the peace between all involved. Your ex has a right to know who will be spending time with your children. Be sure your ex is comfortable with the idea of introducing your children to your new partner. Sometimes, introducing your ex and your new partner can ease some of the tension everyone may be feeling.

  • Take your time before you introduce your partner to your children. Especially if you have younger children, introducing them to your new partner one week only to have the relationship fall apart the next week can be confusing and damaging to your children. Wait until you are sure your relationship is serious to introduce each other.

  • Keep your children informed. Children can become resentful if you hide your partner from them. Even if your children do not meet your new partner right away, it is okay to let your children know that you are dating again and that you have a new person in your life.

Do Not:

  • Forget about your children’s feelings. No two children are alike, so no two reactions will be alike either. Children can become angry and possessive when they find out you are dating again. Other children might be okay with the new relationship. Either way, you should reassure your children that your new partner is not replacing them in your life, that they will still be able to spend time with you, and that you still love them just as much.

  • Expect your children to accept your partner right away. It is only natural for your children to dislike your new partner at first, especially if your children are younger. Children can feel threatened or resentful toward you if they feel like they have to share you with someone else. You can help ease the tension by allowing your children to pick the activities you all do together and keeping the first few initial meetings brief and low key.

Contact a DuPage County Divorce Attorney

The thought of dating after a divorce can be challenging. Not only do you have to deal with your feelings and emotions about having a potential new partner, but you also have to make sure that your new partner is willing to accept your children and vice versa. If you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse cannot agree on terms when introducing new partners, or you are hoping to navigate a stress-free divorce, contact the Law Offices of Matthew M. Williams, P.C. Our skilled Aurora, IL divorce lawyers can help you with any of your divorce needs. Call our office today at 630-409-8184 to schedule a consultation.

Sources:

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/introducing-your-new-part_b_4313495

https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/relationship-divorce-children/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/nurturing-resilience/201508/when-parents-date-someone-new-whats-best-the-kids

 

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